426. Happy Halloween

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Growing up Halloween used to be one of my favorite times of year. I would get dressed up and go out door to door, probably way past the age I probably should have. I've always been young at heart. Back when I was a child, my apartment building was just weird. Some said a few of the apartments were haunted because deaths took place in them. Some strange things even happened in the apartment I lived in. No joke. No lie just to post something scary on Halloween. My mom just had this way about her that attracted the supernatural to her. Spirits made themselves known. I never physically saw one, but I feel presences around me at times.

One night in particular jumps to my mind. I was staying the night with my mother in my parent's bedroom. We were both up late talking. We lived on the first floor, and there was a small alleyway between our building and the house next door. We were sitting there talking when suddenly we heard the sound of footsteps. We thought it was just someone walking through, even with the lateness of the hour. However, the sound of the footsteps stopped right outside our bedroom window. At least that is what it sounded like. We stopped talking, waiting for the person to continue on their way, but they never did. My mother finally got up to look, but she saw nothing there. We had been laying there the whole time, and we never heard the person leave. it gave us just a bit of a fright, and it was no where near Halloween.

I've also experienced a spirit in another way. Some say you can smell them when their near. If it is an evil spirit, you will smell something horrible, almost rotting. If it is a good spirit that means no harm, you will smell something sweet. Sometimes something flowery. I've experienced this myself more than once living in my old apartment. In recent years, since my mother's death, I have sometimes seem a form flash by, either in front of my bedroom doorway or going from the kitchen into the hallway towards our bedrooms here in our apartment. My older cat, who is no longer with us, also would sometimes act strangely when I would see such things. I've chalked it up to my mother checking in.

Do you believe in spirits or the supernatural? I always have. They just fascinate me. I think I'm planning to check into Most Haunted Live tonight. Seems to be the perfect night to watch about ghosts. Don't forget to check out Ghost Stories for some spooky Halloween fun as well! Earlier today, I posted some fun Halloween videos from YouTube over on YouTube Reviews. I plan to post a few more before the night is up. I'm just being picky!

424. Quick post with good news

Monday, October 30, 2006

A few weeks ago, I posted about my new found addiction with videos on Youtube.com. Little did I know that a couple of weeks later, I would be reviewing videos on that site and getting paid to do it. I'm now the entertainment reviewer for Youtube Reviews. I'll be searching through Youtube's entertainment category daily to bring my readers the best videos in that category!

423. Splitsville

Yep, just heard that Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon have separated after seven years of marriage. I thought they would be one of the ones to make it. They just looked so in love. I guess in Hollywood nothing lasts forever. There had been rumors of a possible break up for months, but I never thought it would actually happen.

422. Tunes Monday

So what am I listening to this week? I've been on a Shakira kick on and off for the last month. I've always been a fan of her music. I heard Hips Don't Lie about six weeks ago, and I became obsessed with it. It wasn't the first time I'd heard it, but it hadn't stuck with me before. There were some days I had the song on repeat for hours. There is just something about her music. You just can't help getting up and dancing to it. This weekend, I've had her first English language CD, Laundry Service on repeat. Most specifically her song Que Me Quedes Tu. I love her Spanish stuff as much as her English songs, even if my Spanish isn't all that great and I'm looking up lyrics.

So tell me what are you listening to this week?

421. Well, now I've done it ...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I found myself sucked into reading fiction in another fandom. You read one story, and it is written so well and there it happens. You're sucked in. I'm a huge fan of Supernatural. I have been since the show premiered. So last night, I read my first story in the fandom, and it was so good I had to read another. That one was so good, I read another and another and so on and so forth. What I've found so far in the fandom is that the stories are very well written. I stay away from the Wincest because I'm sorry reading about two brothers getting it on is just not me. I've found some good straight fics though. One with Sam and Jess set in the era before the show started, and another with Sam and Jo set in this season. Reading great fiction makes me want to write something in that fandom.

I'm trying to get my brain into writing more, and in the past I've always written more when I read more fiction. Not only books, but everything. I love television shows and movies, so if I can find well written fiction based on those things I love to watch, it is even better. I've been in such a gay fiction frame of mind the last few years though, it is hard to switch into writing straight het fic. Another problem with writing straight fiction for me comes with writing sex. I could write gay sex without one problem. Once I started writing it that is. It just got really easy for me to write. I'm not a gay men in the least, but the words just seemed to flow.

When it comes to straight sex, normal every day man and woman getting freaky, I always have a problem. I didn't used to. I just think the years of writing gay sex took over my brain. I get all flustered when I have to write straight sex, even though I've been told I write it well. It just takes more for me to write it then it does gay sex. I'm trying to get over that because I have no problems whatsoever reading it. I'll read anything! So I'm thinking this means I need to read a lot more straight fiction and a lot more sex. That sounds funny, but it might be the only way to break through this mental block I seem to have. The things us writers do for our craft.

419. New Story!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

It didn't take as long as I thought to go through the story and get it posted. It is up on my fiction blog, Eroticisms, now. Fan of Dark Angel will enjoy, but hop on over and take a look anyway if you haven't watched the show!

418. Blogger problems

Well, since sometime last night I have been unable to publish to my blog. I had a short entry that I planned to post before bed, but blogger seemed to be having some issues. Those issues seemed to just have resolved themselves. Whenever, Blogger goes down like it has been doing this week - a lot - it makes you think of switching to another blogging service. I've thought about it myself. I hate moving things though. I stick with companies until they frustrate me so much that the only thing I can do is quit the service and go elsewhere.

The last time I had to call and drop someone was AOL. It was a necessary switch because I had jumped onto high speed internet by then. AOL is one of the hardest people to get away from though. They will try to keep you anyway they can. When a company loses customers, they generally don't want to. They want to keep you any way they can. In the past when I called into AOL and threaten to switch, they would offer me free months of service. Since jumping onto high speed though, I've had some headaches there as well. I've documented my problems with the COX high speed service in my area a number of times on this blog. I've called in threatening to switch, and I've gotten discounts on my service. The problems still continue though, and the even bigger problem here is that COX is the only high speed provider in my part of town. This makes it very hard to switch, and there is no way in hell I'm going back to dial-up.

If only I could call Blogger and express my dissatisfaction with the service in recent weeks. They don't even answer emails, unless it is some generic automated response. You get what you pay for though. Companies even pay other companies to find out why people leave. You know there is even a term for it. It is called a company's churn rate. Some companies seem to have higher rates of people leaving. I'm wondering how many people will leave Blogger with its latest troubles. I think I'll stick around. I'll make the switch eventually.

In other news, I finished the fan fiction story I mentioned working on yesterday on my blog last night. I plan to give it a once over later on today, and I'll let you know when it goes up on my fiction blog!

416. Connections

Friday, October 27, 2006

Yesterday, I had a bit of free time on my hands, so I dived into some fan fiction reading. Fan fiction is really a crap shoot. Some is well written, and some makes you want to gouge your eyes out with the nearest blunt object. When you find the good, then you read, and it makes you want to read more. I have my favorite shows and movies, and over the years I've found some good fan fiction. There are some amazing writer's in the Queer as Folk fandom, which I dabbled in a bit writing wise myself. I've also found some good writing in the X-men fandom, and now I'm looking into the Dark Angel fandom some after reading a good story yesterday. I've also read a small amount in other fandoms including Lost, Grey's Anatomy and Fastlane.

Yesterday, while I was looking for fiction to read, I found people doing crossovers between series and fandoms. These can also be good if done well. If not done well, they can be a disaster. I found one that crossed over Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy with John Winchester showing up at the Seattle Grace Hospital emergency room. Jeffrey Dean Morgan played characters on both series last season, so a crossover just worked naturally. I thought the story was really well done too. Izzie meeting John was a touching moment because she has just lost Denny. I don't know why I had never seen the natural crossover until I read the story yesterday, but I can definitely see it now.

Yesterday, I also saw people crossing over X-men with Heroes. Most specifically people are making the connection that Logan aka Wolverine is Claire's father. Claire is the invincible cheerleader on the show that can heal herself and even come back from the dead. Wolverine shares the same powers, so again it makes sense that people are making the connection. I didn't see a fan fiction with the pairing, but I did see a few nicely done banners with it. In my head, I've been playing around with my own crossover idea using Wolverine and Max Guevara from Dark Angel. Wolverine would be placed in Seattle's future in the Dark Angel universe, so it would be some time after X3 in the movie verse. I could see him fitting though.

I even had an idea for a story, but I've never put it down on paper. I did start something last night though. While reading last night, I saw a fan fiction contest for something in the Dark Angel universe. An idea immediately popped into my head, so I'm giving those fiction muses a little bit of a workout. They are a bit on the rusty side, but they still work. I have until Tuesday to get something together, so we'll see what I can come up with. If I complete something, I'll put it up over on my fiction blog, Eroticisms.

In other news, Vanished returns to Fox tonight, and the fate of the show seems almost certain. The lead investigator played by Queer as Folk's Gale Harold is now off the show. Apparently, people didn't like his character too much, so he has been kicked off the series. They are bringing in someone new to lead the investigation, but Fox has told those involved with the series to wrap up the Sara Collins kidnapping story line in thirteen episodes. So this tells me the show will not be returning.

Last but not least, I have selected an all new blog to be my Blog of the Week! Thanks to the twenty-six of you that bid for this week's spot. Some bids expired before I got to them this morning, but all of you please bid again in the future. This week I have Ghost Stories moving onto my sidebar. I thought it was the perfect time for it to be here because Halloween is just days away. Check out all the spooky happenings over there!

NOTE: Vanished will return next week. It was pre-empted for the World Series.

415. Time for things to get scary ...

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ever since I was a young child, I've been fascinated with all things supernatural. Ghosts, monsters and all things of that nature just pull me in, but then at the same time they scare me senseless. Last night, I DVR'ed Ghost Hunters on the Sci-fi channel, and I watched it before going to bed. I kept jumping at every little thing afterward. I needed to watch the end of a perfectly cheesy movie, Hearts & Souls, just to go to bed. Yes, I know that movie is about ghosts too, but it is nice and safe. They aren't hopping out of all places trying to scare you. With Halloween coming up soon, there are so many horror flicks coming on air. Growing up, I used to watch them all. Freddie, Jason, and Michael Myers didn't scare me. Well, they did, but it was all in good fun.

These days, I just can't sit through a horror flick and watch every little thing. Although, The Grudge made me laugh more than scared me. The first Ring movie freaked me out, but the second not so much. I was looking up some random Halloween facts, and I came across this trivia site. They had a couple of recent posts about monsters and jack-o-lanterns, but they had a lot of other random bits of information. It would definitely be a good site for anyone that likes a lot of information, especially those in the Trivia Pursuit set. I haven't played that game in years, but when I used to I was the one that used to know everything.

I'm not sure what I'm doing for Halloween yet. Things are really quiet around our building. Hardly anyone stops by for trick or treat, and it almost feels like just another night. Guess I'll have to see what happens on Tuesday. In other news, Jose from Joe's Cool Blog has left the building! Well, the blog actually. Who is going to be my Blog of the Week this week? I'm taking applications now. Cheap rent. You know what to do!

414. For Fans of The O.C.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Apparently, FOX is going to let fans of the hit Fox drama see the show before its premiere on November 2nd! Fans with high speed connections can either access the series via MySpace or one of twenty-four local area MyFox network websites starting tomorrow. The O.C. has not been picked up yet for a full season by the network, and it is going up against Grey's Anatomy, CSI and Supernatural. I was wondering how I would watch the series, but now with it looking to be put online by Fox I'll be able to catch it every week still.

412. Heroes & Vanished

Monday, October 23, 2006

The other night I talked about Brothers & Sisters. Well, tonight I'm going to talk about Heroes. This series airs Monday nights at 9/8c on NBC, and I finally caught up with the series. I had the last two week's worth of episodes saved on my DVR, and I decided to watch one tonight. It hooked me in, so I watched the next, and then I watched the new episode tonight. The first couple of episodes were a bit slow and odd to me, but now we're really starting to get somewhere with the story. I'm really curious to see what happens next.

The series follows a group of totally separate people that are all somehow connected by the special powers they possess. One young woman is invincible, a Japanese man has the power to bend time and space and teleport himself, another can fly, and yet another can take on the powers of the others in their presence. I'm really enjoying the series now, and it isn't the normal series on air right now. Ratings aren't the best, but I'm really hoping that changes soon. This series deserves a chance. You can download the series off iTunes by clicking the banner on my sidebar for it!

As for another new series, Vanished, it appears FOX is going to keep its season short. It will have thirteen episodes and out. They are moving it to Friday nights this Friday, and Friday night is usually the death toll for most shows. Every show I have seen moved to Friday nights usually ended up cancelled. CBS seems to hold its own though. We'll see how Vanished does. If it holds its own against the other programming of the night, Fox might bring it back next year.

411. TV really shouldn't make you cry!

Just last night, I wrote about how I found myself crying at the end of a few episodes of ABC's new hit show, Brothers & Sisters. Well, today my soap opera, As The World Turns, had me turning on the waterworks. Back in July, one of the actors that has been on the show since I began watching the show over twenty years ago passed away. His last appearance on the show was on July 12th, and following that appearance the character had been away on a business trip. I wondered how the series would handle his death. They had brought in other actors to cover the role before when the actor went on vacation or something of that nature, but he was Hal Munsen. It just wouldn't seem right to bring someone new in.

Well, today we learned of the character's fate. The character himself died in the process of trying to stop a robbery. Hal was a cop, so he died while doing something he loved. Today, the main characters that shared this man's life on the show paid tribute to him by remembering special moments they had together, and it was these moments shown in the form of old clips that hit me the hardest. I think this was the best decision the show could have made. Benjamin Hendrickson was such an integral part of the cast for so long, he was just irreplaceable. May he rest in peace.

Looks like As The World Turns isn't the only long term soap opera losing a major character soon. Guilding Light looks to be getting ready to wrap up the Reva cancer story line too. They have me scratching my head though with the entrance of a comic book and a super hero set for November 1st. Please don't tell me Reva survives cancer by turning into the next big superhero! Hah!

409. Brother & Sisters

One of my favorites of the new batch of shows hitting networks this season is Brothers & Sisters. It airs Sunday nights at 10/9c, and I had been looking forward to seeing it since it was first mentioned back in March. I'm a huge fan of Calista Flockhart from Ally McBeal, so she sold me on at least giving the series a try. Well, the series won me over by the end of the first episode. I have found myself in tears or near it at the end of at least three episodes of this series. The first episode and tonight's episode really got to me. At the end of the first episode, the father of the family dies, and at the end of tonight's episode we see Kitty share a tender moment with her mother. They don't have the best of relationships, but it is slowly rebuilding. The scene just touched me, and it made me miss my own mother for a few moments. Maybe I'm just a big sap that cries over television shows. Well, okay I know I'm a big sap that cries over television shows. I really do think Brothers & Sisters is one of the best new shows this season though. I'm looking forward to what is in store for us in future episodes.

408. Is It in the stars?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

In the past, I've mentioned how much I am into horoscopes. Every day, I receive my horoscope for the day from three different sites. Somehow they are all different, but they can always be connected somehow. I also get a weekly outlook for another site. There are some days that I don't find any relation to the horoscope of the day to me or someone around me. Then there are other days that I read my horoscope, and it makes me think for a second that it really does end relating. One of those instances came today. I was talking to a friend of mine last night before going to bed, and when I checked my horoscope this morning my horoscope related to him and his situation perfectly. He is also a capricorn, so it makes sense that the horoscope could apply to him as well. I always wonder about horoscopes when somehow something can relate.

Another part of astrology that interests me is numerology, which is using numbers, specifically of ones date of birth to see how that influences the events in one's life. I used to get my daily numerology reading every day, but I haven't done so in quite some time. Today, I decided to do a numerology reading overall, and I found some interesting information. These things are always a kick. My reading goes from the present until many years in the future. I'll need to take the time to read it more in depth, but I do plan on doing that.

Horoscopes and astrology has always interested me. I think I got it from my mother. She used to pick up those little horoscope monthly scrolls you can find at the grocery store checkout counter every month. I never understood the appeal until I began to read them. Then she started buying the one for my birth sign, and something clicked. Some might say astrology is a bunch of rubbish, but I've noticed at least half the time my horoscopes are right on the money.

In other news, the Cardinals keep breaking my heart. They are about to lose again to a team that hasn't won once this season and have only scored on average ten points a game. This is getting ridiculous. I'm sure Jose over at Joe's Cool Blog is just as upset about this as I am. He is still my blog of the week. Have you hopped on over and checked him out yet?

407. Saturday Night Ramblings

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Well, I'm still dealing with a killer toothache, but it isn't as bad it was yesterday. It was just about unbearable yesterday. The only thing that helped was ice and popping ibuprophen whenever the pain flared up too much. I'm still doing that, and it is finally bringing the swelling down some. I did spend most of today and yesterday in bed.

I did venture out today though. My brother coaches a girls high school basketball team, and he forgot one of his bags in his office, so I went back to get it with him. It is weird being in an high school environment after being out of high school for so long. The gym was newly done over the summer, and it looked amazing. I can't wait for his season to start. I plan to go to a few games.

Today, I finally finished reading The Beast Within by Suzanne McMinn. I thoroughly enjoyed it from cover to cover, and I might be picking up more books from her PAX league series in the near future. The story had the right amount of heat and romance with just a touch of danger to keep wanting to turn the page. Now I'm reading one of my pick-ups from this year's book fair, a book from Nora Roberts' Night Tales series: Night Tales: Night Shift & Night Shadow. I'm already into the first story, and it is pulling me in so far.

Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!

405. In pain

Friday, October 20, 2006

For the past few months, I've had some problems with my teeth. I wasn't sure why, but I know it hurt. Well, my lower left side began to hurt back on Wednesday night. Yesterday, it got progressively worse, and when I checked it I felt what I thought was a tooth coming. Then it hit me. At the age of 30, I have my wisdom teeth coming in. The upper right side has been bugging me for months, and now it appears to be the lower left sides turn. Thing is the left hurts more than the right ever did. I'm in pain. I see a lot of bed time in my future.

403. New Blog of The Week

Thursday, October 19, 2006

This week we have Jose from over at Joe's Cool Blog moving onto my sidebar. He's a fellow Arizona person, and I've been following his blog through Blogexplosion for awhile now. We've begun commenting each other the last few days, so I figured now was the perfect time to let him visit! We were both heartbroken over our football team's loss this week too. Thank you to everyone that bid this week. There were sixteen of you. Please try again in the future.

On a sidenote, I fixed up the sidebar a little. I noticed that I forgot to add the javascript that makes my pull down menus work. That is now fixed, and I also added the television related sites I had added over at my former review blog One Couch Critic.

402. Mikey says hi

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Mikey decided he wanted to pose for the camera today. He is quite a bit bigger than when I got him in March, but he plopped himself down on my desk for a quick catnap, and that is how I was able to snap these with my webcam. I remember when we first brought him home from the animal shelter all those months ago. He was so tiny, and if you remember correctly he wasn't in the best of health. He has outgrown most of the sneezing and other problems he had when he was a kitten. He's just about ten months old now. How time flies.

Having had three cats over the last eleven years, I'm always looking up stuff online to help me take care of my cats to the best of my ability. Books can become outdated the minute they hit the shelves. The other day I found a new site that had a few articles about pet care. I found one on how to build your own cattery for your cats on your apartment balcony. JJ and Mikey spend a good part of their days on our apartment balcony. Over the summer they stood inside mostly, but once the temperatures started to cool in the last couple of weeks we began letting them out again. The site is relatively new, but I like the layout, and I'll be checking back.

In other news, I just received the email letting me know that The Sophisticated Writer has left the building. Who will move onto my sidebar this week?

401. Banking Troubles

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

For the past eleven years, I've been with the same bank. Never had many problems with them. Well in the past year they have merged and become an entirely new banking operation. Haven't had any problems until this month. With my old bank, my checking account was of the type where all fees were waived as long as I kept a certain balance between all my accounts with the bank. This included any fees from overdraft protection.

Last month, there was an overdraft. Thought nothing of it because any fees would be covered and waived. This is no longer the case. I just spent about fifteen minutes on the phone with someone at the bank and they told me that with the account I had with my old bank fees were never waived. I must be mistaken.

As I said I've been with the bank for almost eleven years, and I know what the account I had consisted of. The teller was adamant that I was mistaken, but did put in a request to waive the fee this time only. At least now I know. It makes you wish you knew before when they are going to totally change things on you. I did say that I would consider banking elsewhere, but that would be such a hassle.

399. Another Week Begins

Monday, October 16, 2006

Well, its Monday, and if this was a couple of months ago that meant the start of another busy week for me. Amazing how things change in a couple of months. Over the weekend, I heard back on something I submitted I think a year and a half ago. A short story. Well, the rejection finally came, but only because the editor didn't think my story would fit with the others she had picked, and not because of the writing. She said to check out what else she is looking for and try her again sometime. I did look up any other submission calls she might have out at the moment, and there is one. The deadline is in a couple of weeks, and she is looking for something between 2000 - 4000 with a BDSM tone. I'm pondering it, but its been awhile since I wrote that type of story. I have though, so we'll see if I can come up with an idea that I can pound out in a couple of weeks.

NaNoWriMo is next month, and I signed up on the site. I've never once written fifty thousand words in one month. Well, in one project that is. I've written that amount in one month across my various projects. When it comes to my fiction, the most I've written in one month has been 10,000 words. I'm not much of a novel writer either. I'm more of a short story/novella person myself. I'm pondering things though. I saw over at the Evolution board they have NanoWriMo Lite with one of two goals - either a 15,000 word story or a 30,000 word story completed. I might shoot for the 15,000 attempt, but I'm not even sure any of my current ideas could reach that length. If they don't and are still complete then I'll deal with it then. Complete is complete right?

Right now, I'm just trying to get back into the flow of things fiction wise, and it just isn't happening. My allergies are kicking up something fierce today, and I have an idea. I think what would make a great story, but I'm stuck on the male characters name. I have the female in my head, but until I am set on his name I'm stuck. Names are so important when it comes right down to it. At least they are in my opinion. This weekend was just a weird one I think. Quiet, but at the same time kind of rocked in turmoil. Oh well. Life happens. Tonight, I'm looking forward to catching my football team play on Monday night, which is something that doesn't happen all too often according to my brother.

I hope you're all well. Don't forget to check out my Blog of the Week. They have less than two days living on my sidebar. Don't miss out! Apparently they are taking part in NaNo next month as well!

398. Saturday Night Thoughts

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Thought #1: Do you ever get the feeling like you're still in high school when it comes to friendships? Sometimes I do. It really kind of sucks, but what can you do?

Thought #2: A couple of entries back I wrote about walking away from a friendship. Sometimes you wonder if you actually made the right choice. Well, tonight I was proved that hell yes I made the best decision ever possible. So thank you for removing all doubt from my mind. Now everything is done. No regrets.

396. Another Dancing With The Stars Upset

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I've been watching Dancing With The Stars each and every week, and I think for this third season we've had some of the best set of celebrities. We have some really good dancers this time around. However, I'm not sure what America was thinking with sending Willa and Max home. They were wonderful each and every week. Next to Jerry Springer, Willa should have stayed on another week. Does anyone else agree?

394. New Blog Of The Week

It's been a few weeks since I have had someone fill that lovely spot on my sidebar, but I'm back this week with an all new addition to share with you. This week's Blog of the Week is The Sophisticated Writer. A romance writer like myself, and her blog follows her life. She just put up a snazzy looking new template since she bid yesterday. Go check her out and send her some well wishes while you're at it.

392. Back to it

Monday, October 09, 2006

I know its been awhile since my last post. Life just seemed to get crazed for a bit, so I needed a break. I've been sick on and off for the last week too. The cold I had seems to have settled in my chest, but I'm feeling a lot better than I did last week. A lot has changed in my life since August rolled around. Things have changed. People in my life has once again changed. I've never said I'm the best of people to be friends with. I think as a writer I do better living in the worlds in my head than in the real world. I can get so wrapped up in the stories and characters that I write about. Perhaps that is why I am so good at writing when I just allow myself to let everything go and write. I lose myself in the story.

I've made some decisions in the last couple of weeks. Decisions I now know we're the right ones. I wasn't sure of that at the time I made them, but with a little bit of time and distance I know I made the right ones. I let someone go that I had been friends with for years. Things had just completely and totally changed between us in the last few months. The same connection that was always there between us just wasn't. It had disappeared, and I could just tell the two of us were walking along separate paths now.

Those paths seemed to only be taking us further and further apart. Not many really understood why I ended up walking away, but it really wasn't for anyone to understand. I just knew something wasn't right anymore, and it was best to walk away where things were still a bit good than wait. However, it didn't work out that way. The other party didn't see any change in our friendship even though we barely talk now. Although once we began talking that tune changed some. It just turned ugly on their part when it didn't need to be.

The strange thing is when I walked away from one, someone else walked through the door. An old friend. We didn't end on the best of terms, but we began talking, and things seem to be going well. It always felt so natural with this person, but we seem to be the type to bounce back and forth with each other. We either love or hate each other. They said in order to hate each other, we had to love each other at one point. I think that is very true. We have this weird relationship that seems to only work if we have both parts to it. I'm feeling good about it this time though. Maybe it'll be different, and we won't end up clashing as much. I have my fingers crossed and I'm holding on a bit better this time. I don't have as many people in my life now, and I kind of like it that way.

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