451. Seconds chances and friendship

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Wow. Been awhile since my last update in here. The holidays truly got the best of me. I'll get back into gear with things here in 2007, which isn't that far off now is it? This year seems to have gone by so fast. So much has changed in my life. Good changes that I didn't think were so good at the time. I lost friends, and I gained new ones. It's kind of weird how you meet people. They can come into your life at the strangest times, and then they just seem to stick. I'm not the best person at making friendships. I'm quiet. I stay to myself. I'm the kind of girl that likes to lurk among the shadows and just live my days to myself. Perhaps it is the writer in me that is that way. I see changes in my own friendships. I've walked away from some, and others have walked away from me. Sometimes it hurts, but more often than not it is supposed to end up that way. It is better in the long run for both parties.

I've seen friendships around me end and start. I've seen second chances once too many. Sometimes friendships are supposed to end. Sometimes there is just too much. Yet, the last thing you want to do is deny someone friendship, but I sometimes don't get how people can keep giving someone chance after chance. Sometimes things aren't meant to work out. You live your life, but sometimes I just want to take those around me and shake them a little. Maybe it is because I just don't want to see them hurt. I'm protective of those around me. I'd do just about anything for my friends if I'm able to do it. All they have to do is ask, and sometimes they don't even have to ask because I'll just end up knowing something isn't right. I have a good sixth sense like that. No matter what my friends do with their own lives I will support them. I won't control what they do.

I'll still be there, even if I'm sitting here wanting to pull them back and lock them in a room until they get whatever crazy idea they have in their heads out of it. It's like some people might actually like having people around them that have proven themselves untrustworthy. You just have to cross your fingers and hope it doesn't happen again. That's all you can do because the last thing you want to see is someone you care about hurt. I'm not all that good at letting people in again and again. Some say I walk away too easily and I just shut the person out. I move on so quickly sometimes because sitting here and thinking about over and over just makes me upset. I've been told I can be one of the coldest people at times, and at others I've been called one of the sweetness and nicest. I guess it depends on the person and the friendship involved. When I walk away, I usually stay gone. Their have been exceptions, but those have been few. I have had the same real life friends since I was in 1st and 7th grade. We don't talk much now, but I still care about them. My best friend since junior high just called a week or two ago to tell me she gave birth to her first son as I mentioned here the night she called.

You can also have the opposite which can happen. Two people that have no real rhyme or reason to why their friendships ended. Things just drifted apart. There was no argument. No fight to put some big end. At one time the two were so close that you thought the friendship would never end. It did though, and both are left to wonder why. They each think the other hates him, and it couldn't be further from the truth. I saw this happen just recently. I'm calling it my own Christmas miracle. Two friends. Both my best friends. I met one through the other, and they hadn't spoken in what could be close to two years now. Maybe longer. I'm not sure. I played matchmaker and brought the two of them back together on Christmas Eve. I usually don't do that because it could sometimes end up badly, but this time I have a good feeling these two will be okay. They were too close at one point to not be okay. Just seeing them talking again made me happy. Sometimes it is the little things like that happening that make things good in life, even if only in that moment.

I hope all you had a wonderful Christmas for those that celebrate it. If I'm not back before the end of the year, Happy New Year as well.

450. Circle of life

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I was talking to a friend the other night, and he was telling me how the father of his friend had passed away suddenly back on Friday night. Not even an hour later, my best friend since junior high called me to tell me she had given birth to her first child, a boy. He was a bit early, and there was a few complications. He will be okay though, and he should be out of the NICU in a week or so. He was also born on Friday night around the same time. It made me think of the circle of life. People die and babies are born every day. Souls are brought into this world just as soon as they leave it. It is never ending. You never know which breath will be your last, but you aren't supposed to know really. You're just supposed to live each day like it may be your very last. Laugh as much as you can, cry when you have to and just breathe life in.

A friend of mine had surgery yesterday. Its minor surgery in the grand scheme of things, but even something could happen with the most minor of surgeries. I'm waiting on word from her, and it is made more difficult because this is mostly an online contact. We speak on the phone every day, but she wouldn't have her phone with her. So I'm worried. I know she'll be okay, but it is making me worry nonetheless. It's kind of funny though how one person can sort of help push aside differences when it really matters. Plus, it is the holiday season, and that has a tendency to bring people together as will.

Life is just crazy sometimes. The world keeps spinning. People keep dying. Babies keep getting born into this world. You live your life day to day because you have no other choice. It is your life, and only you can live it. I'm not much into the holiday spirit this year, but I'm not much of a holiday person. I try though because trying is all one really can do. I'm happy for the new life entering this world, sad for the one that left it, and worried for the friend I thought I had lost but I've only begun to know again after two years apart. So many emotions. They are all mixed together to make one big mess called my life.

448. And its December!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

It seems every month or so, I take a break from blogging. I don't even mean to. It just ends up happening. I am thinking it happens either when I have nothing I have to say, I have something to say but I don't know how to say it, or I'm just too busy with other aspects of my life to give it the real attention it deserves. I think this recent break is due to a combination of the last two. This time of year always seems to get to me. I haven't been much of a holiday person since my late teens. It is just harder for me to get into the spirit of things, but I do make an attempt to. No matter how small that attempt may end up being, I do try.

This passed weekend was my father's eighty-first birthday. It was a low key kind of day. We really didn't do much of anything, but we really didn't need to. We spent the day with him. My brother and I live with him, so that's what we did. He has other children that live off in California, and only one sent him a birthday card. No calls. No other cards. He's eighty-one, and since we've all lost our mother you think we would know just how quickly he could be gone from us. It bothered me a little. I know relationships aren't exactly the best, but he's dad. He won't be around us forever. It would have been nice for them to show at least a small amount of effort. The one card that was sent didn't even arrive on time. I know I'm not the best daughter, but I'm here when it counts, and I'm the one staying with him to make sure he is okay in whatever amount of years he even has left.

The past couple of weeks have been spent throwing myself into writing in one form or another. I had a bit of an idea bite me for a story, but I got a paragraph in, and the words faded away. I always called myself a fiction writer, but I'm wondering if that is changing. I saw my writing horoscope a few days ago, and it mentioned something about a shift in focus in my writing, and I guess I really have shifted. Any storytelling I am doing is now in my interactive fiction with a few partners I've discovered around. I know I've seen an improvement in my fictional writing in those endeavors, so I'm thinking I stick to it, and I allow my fiction to return if it is going to. I've seen to found some small success with my non-fiction efforts. I'm just having a problem finding one steady position that will allow me the ability to make a living or contribute to that in any case. One never becomes a writer to make a steady income anyway.

I'll be back soon with some thoughts on television lately. December television hiatus is just about on us. I'm saving some shows on my DVR to watch in the weeks ahead, so I'm not bored silly!

Writer Blogs

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Absolute Write Blogs

Daily Reads

Romance Diva Blogs

Alan Morgan
Annalee Blysse
Angelle Trieste
Anya Bast
Bebe Thomas
Bella Tyler
Bernadette Gardner
Bonnie Ferguson
Briana Duinn
Camy Tang
Canice Brown-Porter
C. C. Ellis
Chrissy Olinger
Ciar Cullen
Cora Zane
Crystal Jordan
Cynthia Justlin
Dana Belfry
Dayna Hart
Debora Dennis-Mills
Dee Tenorio
Eden Bradley
Eliza Parker
Elle Fredrix
Ember Case
Emma Sanders
Erin Richards
Gina Welborn
Haven Rich
Heather Fowler
Imogen Howson
Jana J. Hanson
Jenna Bayley-Burke
Jennifer Bianco
Jennifer Leeland
Jennifer Shirk
Jorrie Spencer
Kate Willoughby
Keziah Hill
Kissa Starling
Kristen Painter
Lara Rose
Laura Bacchi
Laura Middleton
Lauren Dane
Liddy Midnight
Lori B. Grant
Loribelle Hunt
Lynn Daniels
L.K. Campbell
Maggie Jaimeson
Marty Kindall
M Barnette
Melissa Francis
MG Braden
Monica Jackson
Nalini Singh
Paige Tyler
Pamela K Kinney
Pamela Tyner
Paranormality Universe
Richelle Mead
Racy Li
Rhonda Stapleton
Robin L. Rotham
Rose Middleton
Sabrina Brayden
Sally Painter
Sapphire Phelan
Sara Dennis
Sara Thacker
Sasha White
Sela Carsen
Selah March
Shari Straight
Shawn Monique
Shelley Munro
Shelli Stevens
Stacy Dawn
Stella & Audra
Stephanie Secrest
Strictly Sirens
Sylvia Day
Tawny Taylor
Teresa's Blog
Vanessa Jaye
Wendy Wootton/Portia Da Costa
Zeek's Page

Blogging Your Blessings Sunday Blogroll

Blogging Your Blessings

Wordless Wednesday Blogroll

Wordless Wednesday

Thursday Thirteen Blogroll

Thursday Thirteen

447. Tunes Monday

Monday, November 27, 2006

This week's Tune of the Week is the solo debut of Chris Daughtry simply titled Daughtry. American Idol fans will recognize him from this past season's American Idol competition. He came in fourth place, and I still think he should have won the competition.

This CD just completely and totally rocks from track one through track twelve. I was a fan of Chris' voice on American Idol, and he was just singing covers of Fuel and Bon Jovi. Hearing his own music is completely different. He has a similar style to that of Nickelback if you want an idea of what you're in for if you take a listen.

If you like rock though, this CD is going on my must have list. There are so many songs I love on this CD, but some favorites are Used To, It's Not Over, All These Lives and What about now?. You can check them out on iTunes or if that isn't your deal you can check out the CD on Amazon for Daughtry.

446. Keeping boredom at bay

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Well I hope all of you are having a wonderful turkey day out there. My bird is in the oven, the potatoes are boiling, and I'm about to get started on the stuffing here in a moment. The stuffing is my responsibility each and every year. I do a pretty good job on it, if I do say so myself and I do!

Other than the usual dinner festivities, things are pretty quiet, and I'm looking for things to do. My friend and I play a lot of online games together, and this is a gaming site I just stumbled upon on not too long ago. You can play some of you favorite free games online. This site focuses mostly on the old games you could play on your Nintendo Entertainment Systems.

I had one of those myself back in the day, and I loved it. I haven't jumped onto the bandwagon with X-box or Playstation because I don't play as many games as I used to. Give me a good board game or some classic play like this, and I am good to go. I just played a round of Ms. Pac Man, and I had fun. Better than sitting around being bored!

445. Happy Thanksgiving

444. Confessions

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I just finished watching the Madonna Confessions concert on NBC, and it was amazing. It really made me wish I had gone to the show in person over the summer.

I've been a fan of Madonna's since her first album came out back in 1984, and I still love her just as much today. She's a woman that constantly reinvents herself, and she knows how to put on a good show.

I was glad to see some of my favorites performed including Live to Tell and La Isla Bonita. The concert also introduced me to some of the songs on her new CD, which I have, but hadn't heard much of. Hearing a song performed live, even if it is via television, just gives you a completely different feeling to the music. Some of my new favorites are Let It Will Be and Like It Or Not. I hadn't planned to watch tonight, but I'm really glad I did.

In other news, I have a whole new Blog of the Week today, just in time for the holiday tomorrow. This week we have Doctor Mom from You've Got 2 B Kidding. A great funny blog that is definitely worth checking out!

443. Tunes Monday!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Back with Tunes Monday! This week's tune of the week that has me dancing around my house is the latest release from country act, Sugarland. Enjoy the Ride is their sophomore release that came out on November 7th. I first learned of this group when they performed on CMT's Crossroads series with Bon Jovi last September. Sugarland's lead singer, Jennifer Nettles, even performed on a release of Bon Jovi's, Who Says You Can't Go Home, that has done quite well on the country charts.

For this second CD for the group, some changes have been made. One of the singers and songwriters has left the group. Such a major change might actually hurt a group, especially one that is only a couple of years old such as this one, but this CD shows no signs of that change. It is definitely a country feeling album, but it is close enough pop wise for those fans to enjoy it as well. The first single off the CD is Want To, and I enjoyed the song immediately upon first hearing it. The video for it works well too.

There are really so many great songs on the CD though. I've had it in my CD player almost non-stop since I picked it up on the 7th. It is great music that just makes you want to get up, dance and sing right along. Jennifer Nettles has a strong voice that is just amazing to listen to. Sugarland is quickly becoming one of my favorites, and I definitely thank Bon Jovi, who we all know from reading this blog, is one of my favorite groups to listen to. Some other song recommendations from the album include: These Are The Days and Everyday America.

442. Daybreak Thoughts

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Last night, I began to watch the newest ABC series, Daybreak. I didn't finish the two hour episode last night, and that might give you an idea of what I think of the new show. For some reason, it just didn't hold my complete interest. It had its moments, but they didn't make for an enjoyable experience over all. For those that missed the series, it is the story of Brett Hopper as he lives the same day over and over again. Some events are the same, but once he realizes what is happening to him, he begins to try and change those events from ever happening. The day begins with him being framed for the murder of an Assistant District Attorney. His girlfriend is also killed, and preventing this becomes a focus for Hopper. All this while he tries to live on to the next day. The premise of the series is different and it had promise for me. I'm just not sure this series will be able to keep things exciting over the long haul, which is eleven weeks. ABC has made it clear this series will only last thirteen episodes. The premiere was two episodes, so we have eleven left to go. Once this series is done, Lost makes its return. Now that is something I will be waiting for! All in all, I'll watch Daybreak again next week, but we'll have to see what happens passed that.

440. Getting noticed

Saturday, November 11, 2006

In the past I've discussed a lot about getting your website or blog seen. That is what we all want when we create a website or blog. There are many ways to get your site noticed once it is out there. The important thing is to get it seen. The more traffic that comes to your blog or site, the more likely it will be seen. Google plays a large part in getting your site too. Link popularity and page rank are important, but their importance is changing these days too. An established blog will get higher ranked than one that is newer. With more and more blogs and websites out there, the chances of getting your site seen only increase. This is something I wonder about sometimes because when I started this blog, I wanted to share my thoughts with others. I never thought it would lost, but I am passed the four hundred entry mark with no sign of stopping. That really amazes me. I know I may sometimes go days at a time without writing in here, but those times don't happen as much. Sometimes I just don't know what to say, but I know when I do have something to say this blog is here waiting.

439. Taking the leap

Well a little over an hour ago I took the leap from just plain blogger to the blogger beta. I'm not sure I like the new template/layout situation, but mine seems to have transferred over. I'm not looking to change it, so I should be okay for now. I'll poke around and see what else there is to this beta. I've been using it over on You Tube Reviews the last couple of weeks, so at least I am familiar with it. I'm just happy the move went well. I've heard the worst horror stories.

438. Bound to happen

I've been so busy this week with writing and work, my brain finally cried out no more! Stop! It happened right around eleven p.m.last night, and my brain is still kind of dead right now. It has been a really great week though. I've been giving my brain a real work out, and I don't think it is worked this hard in a long time. I see it as a good thing. Not that I feel totally brain dead, but the reason for it. It feels good to be busy again. It feels good to be working and writing as much as I am right now. I like being active. I don't just like it. I love it. I've always said writing is my favorite thing in the world to do, and this week I just kept writing it was good. I just need to give my brain a bit of a rest now. I'm ready to pick an all-new Blog of the Week to take up the spot on my sidebar. You know what to do people!

437. Wanting to get out

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The weather is just really great right now here in Arizona. It is the type of weather that makes you want to get out and about. During the hot summer months when you have temps above 110 all you want to do is stay in. When it goes back down to around 80, you want to go and do something. Just on a whim I decided to check out if I could find tickets to any events in my area coming up this weekend. The Cardinals play the Cowboys here this weekend. Yes, even though they keep losing, I still support them. Someone smack me! If I want to go and have any chance of really seeing the game on the field, I'd have to spend over $300. Too rich for me right now, but I'm going to poke around and see if I can find something else. Last month, I wanted to go to the Evanescence concert here in town, but by the time I heard about it, the concert was sold out. I'll have to catch them next time they are in town.

435. Life is good!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Have you ever had the feeling that everything in your life just seems to be falling into place? Sure, you might have just got out of a rough patch not too long ago, but you find yourself smiling more than you ever did before. Life just seems to be really good, and you're enjoying life. It was kind of funny because last week I was telling myself I really need some more work to do. Then that night I got the job that I got, and my writing is doing well.

Life just seems to be really good right now. I find myself dancing around my room singing at the top of my lungs along with my favorite songs, even if I know I can't really sing. I don't care. Today was one of the busiest, most hectic days I've had in awhile, and it didn't bother me one bit. I just took things as they came along. I didn't stress myself out. I actually enjoyed it. Now though I'm exhausted, so I'm off to bed! Have a great night out there blogland.

434. Another way to make money online

Monday, November 06, 2006

In the past I've discussed about ways to make money online. I've discussed various ways to do this, but not all of them have worked. Since the summer, my focus has been on paid to blog type sites where advertisers can use bloggers to promote their producters and services. I've found some success using one such site, and there are more such sites that keep popping up since that's site success. The latest site that has popped up is called Blogitive which you can read more about how to make money online with Blogitive by clicking that link. Now I haven't made any money using that site yet. I just joined in the last week or so, and not many of the opportunities they have offered have fit this blog. I won't take an offer just to get the money. The topic or product has to be something I would want to talk about or actually use. Blogitive looks promising though. In the near future, Blogitive is launching even more ways for bloggers to make money using their blog, including a program called Newsnerve. I'm definitely going to keep an eye on this new site and see what I can do with it. I'll have to see if there are any topics that I will be willing to discuss on this blog.

433. Tunes Monday

Last week, I picked up the latest release from Meatloaf. I've been a fan of his for about twelve years now. I got sucked in with I'd anything for love when that song came out. i just knew he was that guy in the Rocky Horror movie before that. I hadn't even heard of Paradise by the Dashboard Light. That was quickly fixed because I fell in love with the Bat out of Hell 2 CD. So when I heard Bat out of Hell 3 came out last Tuesday, I had to pick it up for myself. I was a bit skeptical because I saw Meatloaf perform live on the American Idol finale with Katharine McPhee, and I was just a bit thrown off by the performance. It just wasn't any good at all.

I grabbed the CD anyway, and I am so glad that I did. It is just classic Meatloaf. There is just something about the lyrics with him that always seem to get to me in someway. He's a bit theatrical and dramatic, but he makes it work. It is just how he is. One of my favorite songs on the CD is Blind as a Bat. Perhaps I love it so much because I can so relate to the lyrics to the song. Meatloaf also has a cover of It's all coming back to me now on the CD. This is the song he performed on American Idol, and the CD version is world's away from the live performance. No, Katharine doesn't join him on the track. I loved the song when Celine Dion did it years ago, and this version is nice too.

In other news, over the weekend I caught Roseanne's latest comedy show on HBO. I loved the Roseanne show so much, and she was funny here as well. The show was extremely heavy on the political humor, but the end of the show when she strips down to a leotard and started dancing around just made me applaud her. She's really a strong woman. You know she isn't small by any means, and some might say she should have kept the robe on, but she's a big woman that isn't ashamed of it. I'm not small by any means, so it is nice to see someone else saying "I'm me. I'm here. I'm happy. Deal with it."

In other celebrity news, Doogie Howser is gay. Well, Neil Patrick Harris is anyway. This is the second television actor to come out in the last month or so. T.R. Knight, George on Grey's Anatomy, came out in October following the on-set scuffle between Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey when T.R. was five minutes late to the set. I think it is great to see some celebrity faces coming out. I know it doesn't change the way I see them. They are just people like everyone else. Who they choose to love doesn't affect my opinion of them any.

431. Eroticisms Update

Friday, November 03, 2006

Just posted a short little ficlet over on my fiction blog. Fans of the series Supernatural on The CW might be mostly interested, but others might enjoy it as well. Take a look here.

430. Thursday Night Viewing

Thursday night is my favorite night on television. I seem to wait all week for it to happen. Last week, the World Series through a monkey wrench into my favorite night, but the shows were all back last night. I got my weekly fixes of Grey's Anatomy and ER, and this made me happy. I was watching last night, and I had a thought come to me. The medical people on these shows all tend to wear the same boring scrubs. You see the light blue and the dark blue. I think at one point Meredith on Grey's Anatomy wore maroon. You would think on television they would spice up things a bit. Scrubs are so easy to buy. At my local mall just a few miles away, they even have a shop that only sells scrubs. I took a peek one day, and there is such a selection to choose from.

Just now, I did a quick search online, and I found this site that sells medical scrubs. Some of the tops don't even really look like medical scrubs. This top for example. Looks perfect for a day out to the movies or to lunch. I think I could see Grey's Anatomy Izzie wearing something like that actually. What about Abby on ER? I could totally see her wearing a top like this one. I've heard scrubs are so comfortable too. Maybe I'll pick myself up a top at least some time. I'm all about comfort as I lounge about the house.

Back to last night's shows though. Sweeps are underway, so that means the shows are throwing out their best at us. Salma Hayek popped up topless on last night's Ugly Betty, and last night's Supernatural was probably the best all season. Yes, I still love my television. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I lose Lost until February! I'm not liking this new season being broken up so much. Now, I'm waiting for Fox to put next week's OC online. I mentioned I saw that earlier this week. Good stuff. We'll have to see where they take things next.

428. Jumping the Shark

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

For the past couple of weeks, Guiding Light, the soap opera has been hyping up a superhero storyline set to hit the series this week. One of the series major characters will be struck with lightning, and the result will be her getting super powers. The soaps the last couple of months have had some out there story lines, and they have me shaking my head. This is the latest. I watched the episode today as 'The Guiding Light' took the scene, and I had to admit it was kind of funny, but I still expect so much more from this series.

Over on As The World Turns, they had a slasher killing teens that reminded me of Friday the 13th, and then out of nowhere a freak blizzard comes out of nowhere and causes havoc in the city of Oakdale. In prime time shows, these kinds of story lines would make you think the series was jumping the shark. I'm actually reminded of another story line years ago from Days of Our Lives when Marlena was possessed by the devil. This is the stuff of movies and not for television daytime. If you watch soaps or other shows, what plot lines have you thought came close to jumping the shark?

In other news, I'm waiting to see who goes home tonight on Dancing With The Stars. As much as I would hate to see an all-male competition, the men left in the competition are the best. I think we should see Monique go home tonight. I have a couple of hours to find out.

427. Happy November

It is the start of a new month. November means NaNoWriMo, Thanksgiving, Veteran's Day and ... I think that's it. I just woke up about fifteen minutes ago, so my brain is still kicking into gear at the moment. I'm pondering NaNo, and I did sign up, but no ideas are jumping out at me at the moment. I am considering doing a lite version through Evolution, which would mean a fifteen word story completed this month. It's doable, but I need the right idea first. I'd even take an amazing fan fiction idea if it came to me right me, but nothing is. So I'll keep thinking about it today, and I'll see what happens. The thing is I have the ideas. I just don't know if they would be that length. I'm a short writer. It's what I do. My longest story came in just around 12,000 words a few years ago.

I tried to stay up and watch all of Ghost Hunters Live last night, but the show began airing here at midnight, and I was out by two. They were at the infamous Stanley Hotel. The location that Stephen King used for his novel, The Shining. I did let my DVR tape it, so I can still watch. Tonight Bones returns, but I still haven't seen the last episode of that either. I did catch the premiere of The OC last night online, and I loved it. It was a darker episode, but that was to be expected with Marissa's death. I won't spoil it for anyone that hasn't seen it yet, but it was really good.

In other news, I woke up to a site that I never thought I'd see this morning, and I'm not sure how long until I see again. I'm a heavy battler over at Battle of the Blogs, and when I woke up just now, I saw my blog on top of the top 50 for the month of November. Of course, the month has just begun, but it was still nice to see I guess. I ended up in eighth place for October. Anyway, I need my coffee, a shower, and then I have something to write up real quick and I need to jump onto YouTube for the day. II'll probably be back later.

426. Happy Halloween

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Growing up Halloween used to be one of my favorite times of year. I would get dressed up and go out door to door, probably way past the age I probably should have. I've always been young at heart. Back when I was a child, my apartment building was just weird. Some said a few of the apartments were haunted because deaths took place in them. Some strange things even happened in the apartment I lived in. No joke. No lie just to post something scary on Halloween. My mom just had this way about her that attracted the supernatural to her. Spirits made themselves known. I never physically saw one, but I feel presences around me at times.

One night in particular jumps to my mind. I was staying the night with my mother in my parent's bedroom. We were both up late talking. We lived on the first floor, and there was a small alleyway between our building and the house next door. We were sitting there talking when suddenly we heard the sound of footsteps. We thought it was just someone walking through, even with the lateness of the hour. However, the sound of the footsteps stopped right outside our bedroom window. At least that is what it sounded like. We stopped talking, waiting for the person to continue on their way, but they never did. My mother finally got up to look, but she saw nothing there. We had been laying there the whole time, and we never heard the person leave. it gave us just a bit of a fright, and it was no where near Halloween.

I've also experienced a spirit in another way. Some say you can smell them when their near. If it is an evil spirit, you will smell something horrible, almost rotting. If it is a good spirit that means no harm, you will smell something sweet. Sometimes something flowery. I've experienced this myself more than once living in my old apartment. In recent years, since my mother's death, I have sometimes seem a form flash by, either in front of my bedroom doorway or going from the kitchen into the hallway towards our bedrooms here in our apartment. My older cat, who is no longer with us, also would sometimes act strangely when I would see such things. I've chalked it up to my mother checking in.

Do you believe in spirits or the supernatural? I always have. They just fascinate me. I think I'm planning to check into Most Haunted Live tonight. Seems to be the perfect night to watch about ghosts. Don't forget to check out Ghost Stories for some spooky Halloween fun as well! Earlier today, I posted some fun Halloween videos from YouTube over on YouTube Reviews. I plan to post a few more before the night is up. I'm just being picky!

424. Quick post with good news

Monday, October 30, 2006

A few weeks ago, I posted about my new found addiction with videos on Youtube.com. Little did I know that a couple of weeks later, I would be reviewing videos on that site and getting paid to do it. I'm now the entertainment reviewer for Youtube Reviews. I'll be searching through Youtube's entertainment category daily to bring my readers the best videos in that category!

423. Splitsville

Yep, just heard that Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon have separated after seven years of marriage. I thought they would be one of the ones to make it. They just looked so in love. I guess in Hollywood nothing lasts forever. There had been rumors of a possible break up for months, but I never thought it would actually happen.

422. Tunes Monday

So what am I listening to this week? I've been on a Shakira kick on and off for the last month. I've always been a fan of her music. I heard Hips Don't Lie about six weeks ago, and I became obsessed with it. It wasn't the first time I'd heard it, but it hadn't stuck with me before. There were some days I had the song on repeat for hours. There is just something about her music. You just can't help getting up and dancing to it. This weekend, I've had her first English language CD, Laundry Service on repeat. Most specifically her song Que Me Quedes Tu. I love her Spanish stuff as much as her English songs, even if my Spanish isn't all that great and I'm looking up lyrics.

So tell me what are you listening to this week?

421. Well, now I've done it ...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I found myself sucked into reading fiction in another fandom. You read one story, and it is written so well and there it happens. You're sucked in. I'm a huge fan of Supernatural. I have been since the show premiered. So last night, I read my first story in the fandom, and it was so good I had to read another. That one was so good, I read another and another and so on and so forth. What I've found so far in the fandom is that the stories are very well written. I stay away from the Wincest because I'm sorry reading about two brothers getting it on is just not me. I've found some good straight fics though. One with Sam and Jess set in the era before the show started, and another with Sam and Jo set in this season. Reading great fiction makes me want to write something in that fandom.

I'm trying to get my brain into writing more, and in the past I've always written more when I read more fiction. Not only books, but everything. I love television shows and movies, so if I can find well written fiction based on those things I love to watch, it is even better. I've been in such a gay fiction frame of mind the last few years though, it is hard to switch into writing straight het fic. Another problem with writing straight fiction for me comes with writing sex. I could write gay sex without one problem. Once I started writing it that is. It just got really easy for me to write. I'm not a gay men in the least, but the words just seemed to flow.

When it comes to straight sex, normal every day man and woman getting freaky, I always have a problem. I didn't used to. I just think the years of writing gay sex took over my brain. I get all flustered when I have to write straight sex, even though I've been told I write it well. It just takes more for me to write it then it does gay sex. I'm trying to get over that because I have no problems whatsoever reading it. I'll read anything! So I'm thinking this means I need to read a lot more straight fiction and a lot more sex. That sounds funny, but it might be the only way to break through this mental block I seem to have. The things us writers do for our craft.

419. New Story!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

It didn't take as long as I thought to go through the story and get it posted. It is up on my fiction blog, Eroticisms, now. Fan of Dark Angel will enjoy, but hop on over and take a look anyway if you haven't watched the show!

418. Blogger problems

Well, since sometime last night I have been unable to publish to my blog. I had a short entry that I planned to post before bed, but blogger seemed to be having some issues. Those issues seemed to just have resolved themselves. Whenever, Blogger goes down like it has been doing this week - a lot - it makes you think of switching to another blogging service. I've thought about it myself. I hate moving things though. I stick with companies until they frustrate me so much that the only thing I can do is quit the service and go elsewhere.

The last time I had to call and drop someone was AOL. It was a necessary switch because I had jumped onto high speed internet by then. AOL is one of the hardest people to get away from though. They will try to keep you anyway they can. When a company loses customers, they generally don't want to. They want to keep you any way they can. In the past when I called into AOL and threaten to switch, they would offer me free months of service. Since jumping onto high speed though, I've had some headaches there as well. I've documented my problems with the COX high speed service in my area a number of times on this blog. I've called in threatening to switch, and I've gotten discounts on my service. The problems still continue though, and the even bigger problem here is that COX is the only high speed provider in my part of town. This makes it very hard to switch, and there is no way in hell I'm going back to dial-up.

If only I could call Blogger and express my dissatisfaction with the service in recent weeks. They don't even answer emails, unless it is some generic automated response. You get what you pay for though. Companies even pay other companies to find out why people leave. You know there is even a term for it. It is called a company's churn rate. Some companies seem to have higher rates of people leaving. I'm wondering how many people will leave Blogger with its latest troubles. I think I'll stick around. I'll make the switch eventually.

In other news, I finished the fan fiction story I mentioned working on yesterday on my blog last night. I plan to give it a once over later on today, and I'll let you know when it goes up on my fiction blog!

416. Connections

Friday, October 27, 2006

Yesterday, I had a bit of free time on my hands, so I dived into some fan fiction reading. Fan fiction is really a crap shoot. Some is well written, and some makes you want to gouge your eyes out with the nearest blunt object. When you find the good, then you read, and it makes you want to read more. I have my favorite shows and movies, and over the years I've found some good fan fiction. There are some amazing writer's in the Queer as Folk fandom, which I dabbled in a bit writing wise myself. I've also found some good writing in the X-men fandom, and now I'm looking into the Dark Angel fandom some after reading a good story yesterday. I've also read a small amount in other fandoms including Lost, Grey's Anatomy and Fastlane.

Yesterday, while I was looking for fiction to read, I found people doing crossovers between series and fandoms. These can also be good if done well. If not done well, they can be a disaster. I found one that crossed over Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy with John Winchester showing up at the Seattle Grace Hospital emergency room. Jeffrey Dean Morgan played characters on both series last season, so a crossover just worked naturally. I thought the story was really well done too. Izzie meeting John was a touching moment because she has just lost Denny. I don't know why I had never seen the natural crossover until I read the story yesterday, but I can definitely see it now.

Yesterday, I also saw people crossing over X-men with Heroes. Most specifically people are making the connection that Logan aka Wolverine is Claire's father. Claire is the invincible cheerleader on the show that can heal herself and even come back from the dead. Wolverine shares the same powers, so again it makes sense that people are making the connection. I didn't see a fan fiction with the pairing, but I did see a few nicely done banners with it. In my head, I've been playing around with my own crossover idea using Wolverine and Max Guevara from Dark Angel. Wolverine would be placed in Seattle's future in the Dark Angel universe, so it would be some time after X3 in the movie verse. I could see him fitting though.

I even had an idea for a story, but I've never put it down on paper. I did start something last night though. While reading last night, I saw a fan fiction contest for something in the Dark Angel universe. An idea immediately popped into my head, so I'm giving those fiction muses a little bit of a workout. They are a bit on the rusty side, but they still work. I have until Tuesday to get something together, so we'll see what I can come up with. If I complete something, I'll put it up over on my fiction blog, Eroticisms.

In other news, Vanished returns to Fox tonight, and the fate of the show seems almost certain. The lead investigator played by Queer as Folk's Gale Harold is now off the show. Apparently, people didn't like his character too much, so he has been kicked off the series. They are bringing in someone new to lead the investigation, but Fox has told those involved with the series to wrap up the Sara Collins kidnapping story line in thirteen episodes. So this tells me the show will not be returning.

Last but not least, I have selected an all new blog to be my Blog of the Week! Thanks to the twenty-six of you that bid for this week's spot. Some bids expired before I got to them this morning, but all of you please bid again in the future. This week I have Ghost Stories moving onto my sidebar. I thought it was the perfect time for it to be here because Halloween is just days away. Check out all the spooky happenings over there!

NOTE: Vanished will return next week. It was pre-empted for the World Series.

415. Time for things to get scary ...

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ever since I was a young child, I've been fascinated with all things supernatural. Ghosts, monsters and all things of that nature just pull me in, but then at the same time they scare me senseless. Last night, I DVR'ed Ghost Hunters on the Sci-fi channel, and I watched it before going to bed. I kept jumping at every little thing afterward. I needed to watch the end of a perfectly cheesy movie, Hearts & Souls, just to go to bed. Yes, I know that movie is about ghosts too, but it is nice and safe. They aren't hopping out of all places trying to scare you. With Halloween coming up soon, there are so many horror flicks coming on air. Growing up, I used to watch them all. Freddie, Jason, and Michael Myers didn't scare me. Well, they did, but it was all in good fun.

These days, I just can't sit through a horror flick and watch every little thing. Although, The Grudge made me laugh more than scared me. The first Ring movie freaked me out, but the second not so much. I was looking up some random Halloween facts, and I came across this trivia site. They had a couple of recent posts about monsters and jack-o-lanterns, but they had a lot of other random bits of information. It would definitely be a good site for anyone that likes a lot of information, especially those in the Trivia Pursuit set. I haven't played that game in years, but when I used to I was the one that used to know everything.

I'm not sure what I'm doing for Halloween yet. Things are really quiet around our building. Hardly anyone stops by for trick or treat, and it almost feels like just another night. Guess I'll have to see what happens on Tuesday. In other news, Jose from Joe's Cool Blog has left the building! Well, the blog actually. Who is going to be my Blog of the Week this week? I'm taking applications now. Cheap rent. You know what to do!

414. For Fans of The O.C.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Apparently, FOX is going to let fans of the hit Fox drama see the show before its premiere on November 2nd! Fans with high speed connections can either access the series via MySpace or one of twenty-four local area MyFox network websites starting tomorrow. The O.C. has not been picked up yet for a full season by the network, and it is going up against Grey's Anatomy, CSI and Supernatural. I was wondering how I would watch the series, but now with it looking to be put online by Fox I'll be able to catch it every week still.

412. Heroes & Vanished

Monday, October 23, 2006

The other night I talked about Brothers & Sisters. Well, tonight I'm going to talk about Heroes. This series airs Monday nights at 9/8c on NBC, and I finally caught up with the series. I had the last two week's worth of episodes saved on my DVR, and I decided to watch one tonight. It hooked me in, so I watched the next, and then I watched the new episode tonight. The first couple of episodes were a bit slow and odd to me, but now we're really starting to get somewhere with the story. I'm really curious to see what happens next.

The series follows a group of totally separate people that are all somehow connected by the special powers they possess. One young woman is invincible, a Japanese man has the power to bend time and space and teleport himself, another can fly, and yet another can take on the powers of the others in their presence. I'm really enjoying the series now, and it isn't the normal series on air right now. Ratings aren't the best, but I'm really hoping that changes soon. This series deserves a chance. You can download the series off iTunes by clicking the banner on my sidebar for it!

As for another new series, Vanished, it appears FOX is going to keep its season short. It will have thirteen episodes and out. They are moving it to Friday nights this Friday, and Friday night is usually the death toll for most shows. Every show I have seen moved to Friday nights usually ended up cancelled. CBS seems to hold its own though. We'll see how Vanished does. If it holds its own against the other programming of the night, Fox might bring it back next year.

411. TV really shouldn't make you cry!

Just last night, I wrote about how I found myself crying at the end of a few episodes of ABC's new hit show, Brothers & Sisters. Well, today my soap opera, As The World Turns, had me turning on the waterworks. Back in July, one of the actors that has been on the show since I began watching the show over twenty years ago passed away. His last appearance on the show was on July 12th, and following that appearance the character had been away on a business trip. I wondered how the series would handle his death. They had brought in other actors to cover the role before when the actor went on vacation or something of that nature, but he was Hal Munsen. It just wouldn't seem right to bring someone new in.

Well, today we learned of the character's fate. The character himself died in the process of trying to stop a robbery. Hal was a cop, so he died while doing something he loved. Today, the main characters that shared this man's life on the show paid tribute to him by remembering special moments they had together, and it was these moments shown in the form of old clips that hit me the hardest. I think this was the best decision the show could have made. Benjamin Hendrickson was such an integral part of the cast for so long, he was just irreplaceable. May he rest in peace.

Looks like As The World Turns isn't the only long term soap opera losing a major character soon. Guilding Light looks to be getting ready to wrap up the Reva cancer story line too. They have me scratching my head though with the entrance of a comic book and a super hero set for November 1st. Please don't tell me Reva survives cancer by turning into the next big superhero! Hah!

409. Brother & Sisters

One of my favorites of the new batch of shows hitting networks this season is Brothers & Sisters. It airs Sunday nights at 10/9c, and I had been looking forward to seeing it since it was first mentioned back in March. I'm a huge fan of Calista Flockhart from Ally McBeal, so she sold me on at least giving the series a try. Well, the series won me over by the end of the first episode. I have found myself in tears or near it at the end of at least three episodes of this series. The first episode and tonight's episode really got to me. At the end of the first episode, the father of the family dies, and at the end of tonight's episode we see Kitty share a tender moment with her mother. They don't have the best of relationships, but it is slowly rebuilding. The scene just touched me, and it made me miss my own mother for a few moments. Maybe I'm just a big sap that cries over television shows. Well, okay I know I'm a big sap that cries over television shows. I really do think Brothers & Sisters is one of the best new shows this season though. I'm looking forward to what is in store for us in future episodes.

408. Is It in the stars?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

In the past, I've mentioned how much I am into horoscopes. Every day, I receive my horoscope for the day from three different sites. Somehow they are all different, but they can always be connected somehow. I also get a weekly outlook for another site. There are some days that I don't find any relation to the horoscope of the day to me or someone around me. Then there are other days that I read my horoscope, and it makes me think for a second that it really does end relating. One of those instances came today. I was talking to a friend of mine last night before going to bed, and when I checked my horoscope this morning my horoscope related to him and his situation perfectly. He is also a capricorn, so it makes sense that the horoscope could apply to him as well. I always wonder about horoscopes when somehow something can relate.

Another part of astrology that interests me is numerology, which is using numbers, specifically of ones date of birth to see how that influences the events in one's life. I used to get my daily numerology reading every day, but I haven't done so in quite some time. Today, I decided to do a numerology reading overall, and I found some interesting information. These things are always a kick. My reading goes from the present until many years in the future. I'll need to take the time to read it more in depth, but I do plan on doing that.

Horoscopes and astrology has always interested me. I think I got it from my mother. She used to pick up those little horoscope monthly scrolls you can find at the grocery store checkout counter every month. I never understood the appeal until I began to read them. Then she started buying the one for my birth sign, and something clicked. Some might say astrology is a bunch of rubbish, but I've noticed at least half the time my horoscopes are right on the money.

In other news, the Cardinals keep breaking my heart. They are about to lose again to a team that hasn't won once this season and have only scored on average ten points a game. This is getting ridiculous. I'm sure Jose over at Joe's Cool Blog is just as upset about this as I am. He is still my blog of the week. Have you hopped on over and checked him out yet?

407. Saturday Night Ramblings

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Well, I'm still dealing with a killer toothache, but it isn't as bad it was yesterday. It was just about unbearable yesterday. The only thing that helped was ice and popping ibuprophen whenever the pain flared up too much. I'm still doing that, and it is finally bringing the swelling down some. I did spend most of today and yesterday in bed.

I did venture out today though. My brother coaches a girls high school basketball team, and he forgot one of his bags in his office, so I went back to get it with him. It is weird being in an high school environment after being out of high school for so long. The gym was newly done over the summer, and it looked amazing. I can't wait for his season to start. I plan to go to a few games.

Today, I finally finished reading The Beast Within by Suzanne McMinn. I thoroughly enjoyed it from cover to cover, and I might be picking up more books from her PAX league series in the near future. The story had the right amount of heat and romance with just a touch of danger to keep wanting to turn the page. Now I'm reading one of my pick-ups from this year's book fair, a book from Nora Roberts' Night Tales series: Night Tales: Night Shift & Night Shadow. I'm already into the first story, and it is pulling me in so far.

Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!

405. In pain

Friday, October 20, 2006

For the past few months, I've had some problems with my teeth. I wasn't sure why, but I know it hurt. Well, my lower left side began to hurt back on Wednesday night. Yesterday, it got progressively worse, and when I checked it I felt what I thought was a tooth coming. Then it hit me. At the age of 30, I have my wisdom teeth coming in. The upper right side has been bugging me for months, and now it appears to be the lower left sides turn. Thing is the left hurts more than the right ever did. I'm in pain. I see a lot of bed time in my future.

403. New Blog of The Week

Thursday, October 19, 2006

This week we have Jose from over at Joe's Cool Blog moving onto my sidebar. He's a fellow Arizona person, and I've been following his blog through Blogexplosion for awhile now. We've begun commenting each other the last few days, so I figured now was the perfect time to let him visit! We were both heartbroken over our football team's loss this week too. Thank you to everyone that bid this week. There were sixteen of you. Please try again in the future.

On a sidenote, I fixed up the sidebar a little. I noticed that I forgot to add the javascript that makes my pull down menus work. That is now fixed, and I also added the television related sites I had added over at my former review blog One Couch Critic.

402. Mikey says hi

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Mikey decided he wanted to pose for the camera today. He is quite a bit bigger than when I got him in March, but he plopped himself down on my desk for a quick catnap, and that is how I was able to snap these with my webcam. I remember when we first brought him home from the animal shelter all those months ago. He was so tiny, and if you remember correctly he wasn't in the best of health. He has outgrown most of the sneezing and other problems he had when he was a kitten. He's just about ten months old now. How time flies.

Having had three cats over the last eleven years, I'm always looking up stuff online to help me take care of my cats to the best of my ability. Books can become outdated the minute they hit the shelves. The other day I found a new site that had a few articles about pet care. I found one on how to build your own cattery for your cats on your apartment balcony. JJ and Mikey spend a good part of their days on our apartment balcony. Over the summer they stood inside mostly, but once the temperatures started to cool in the last couple of weeks we began letting them out again. The site is relatively new, but I like the layout, and I'll be checking back.

In other news, I just received the email letting me know that The Sophisticated Writer has left the building. Who will move onto my sidebar this week?

401. Banking Troubles

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

For the past eleven years, I've been with the same bank. Never had many problems with them. Well in the past year they have merged and become an entirely new banking operation. Haven't had any problems until this month. With my old bank, my checking account was of the type where all fees were waived as long as I kept a certain balance between all my accounts with the bank. This included any fees from overdraft protection.

Last month, there was an overdraft. Thought nothing of it because any fees would be covered and waived. This is no longer the case. I just spent about fifteen minutes on the phone with someone at the bank and they told me that with the account I had with my old bank fees were never waived. I must be mistaken.

As I said I've been with the bank for almost eleven years, and I know what the account I had consisted of. The teller was adamant that I was mistaken, but did put in a request to waive the fee this time only. At least now I know. It makes you wish you knew before when they are going to totally change things on you. I did say that I would consider banking elsewhere, but that would be such a hassle.

399. Another Week Begins

Monday, October 16, 2006

Well, its Monday, and if this was a couple of months ago that meant the start of another busy week for me. Amazing how things change in a couple of months. Over the weekend, I heard back on something I submitted I think a year and a half ago. A short story. Well, the rejection finally came, but only because the editor didn't think my story would fit with the others she had picked, and not because of the writing. She said to check out what else she is looking for and try her again sometime. I did look up any other submission calls she might have out at the moment, and there is one. The deadline is in a couple of weeks, and she is looking for something between 2000 - 4000 with a BDSM tone. I'm pondering it, but its been awhile since I wrote that type of story. I have though, so we'll see if I can come up with an idea that I can pound out in a couple of weeks.

NaNoWriMo is next month, and I signed up on the site. I've never once written fifty thousand words in one month. Well, in one project that is. I've written that amount in one month across my various projects. When it comes to my fiction, the most I've written in one month has been 10,000 words. I'm not much of a novel writer either. I'm more of a short story/novella person myself. I'm pondering things though. I saw over at the Evolution board they have NanoWriMo Lite with one of two goals - either a 15,000 word story or a 30,000 word story completed. I might shoot for the 15,000 attempt, but I'm not even sure any of my current ideas could reach that length. If they don't and are still complete then I'll deal with it then. Complete is complete right?

Right now, I'm just trying to get back into the flow of things fiction wise, and it just isn't happening. My allergies are kicking up something fierce today, and I have an idea. I think what would make a great story, but I'm stuck on the male characters name. I have the female in my head, but until I am set on his name I'm stuck. Names are so important when it comes right down to it. At least they are in my opinion. This weekend was just a weird one I think. Quiet, but at the same time kind of rocked in turmoil. Oh well. Life happens. Tonight, I'm looking forward to catching my football team play on Monday night, which is something that doesn't happen all too often according to my brother.

I hope you're all well. Don't forget to check out my Blog of the Week. They have less than two days living on my sidebar. Don't miss out! Apparently they are taking part in NaNo next month as well!

398. Saturday Night Thoughts

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Thought #1: Do you ever get the feeling like you're still in high school when it comes to friendships? Sometimes I do. It really kind of sucks, but what can you do?

Thought #2: A couple of entries back I wrote about walking away from a friendship. Sometimes you wonder if you actually made the right choice. Well, tonight I was proved that hell yes I made the best decision ever possible. So thank you for removing all doubt from my mind. Now everything is done. No regrets.

396. Another Dancing With The Stars Upset

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I've been watching Dancing With The Stars each and every week, and I think for this third season we've had some of the best set of celebrities. We have some really good dancers this time around. However, I'm not sure what America was thinking with sending Willa and Max home. They were wonderful each and every week. Next to Jerry Springer, Willa should have stayed on another week. Does anyone else agree?

394. New Blog Of The Week

It's been a few weeks since I have had someone fill that lovely spot on my sidebar, but I'm back this week with an all new addition to share with you. This week's Blog of the Week is The Sophisticated Writer. A romance writer like myself, and her blog follows her life. She just put up a snazzy looking new template since she bid yesterday. Go check her out and send her some well wishes while you're at it.

392. Back to it

Monday, October 09, 2006

I know its been awhile since my last post. Life just seemed to get crazed for a bit, so I needed a break. I've been sick on and off for the last week too. The cold I had seems to have settled in my chest, but I'm feeling a lot better than I did last week. A lot has changed in my life since August rolled around. Things have changed. People in my life has once again changed. I've never said I'm the best of people to be friends with. I think as a writer I do better living in the worlds in my head than in the real world. I can get so wrapped up in the stories and characters that I write about. Perhaps that is why I am so good at writing when I just allow myself to let everything go and write. I lose myself in the story.

I've made some decisions in the last couple of weeks. Decisions I now know we're the right ones. I wasn't sure of that at the time I made them, but with a little bit of time and distance I know I made the right ones. I let someone go that I had been friends with for years. Things had just completely and totally changed between us in the last few months. The same connection that was always there between us just wasn't. It had disappeared, and I could just tell the two of us were walking along separate paths now.

Those paths seemed to only be taking us further and further apart. Not many really understood why I ended up walking away, but it really wasn't for anyone to understand. I just knew something wasn't right anymore, and it was best to walk away where things were still a bit good than wait. However, it didn't work out that way. The other party didn't see any change in our friendship even though we barely talk now. Although once we began talking that tune changed some. It just turned ugly on their part when it didn't need to be.

The strange thing is when I walked away from one, someone else walked through the door. An old friend. We didn't end on the best of terms, but we began talking, and things seem to be going well. It always felt so natural with this person, but we seem to be the type to bounce back and forth with each other. We either love or hate each other. They said in order to hate each other, we had to love each other at one point. I think that is very true. We have this weird relationship that seems to only work if we have both parts to it. I'm feeling good about it this time though. Maybe it'll be different, and we won't end up clashing as much. I have my fingers crossed and I'm holding on a bit better this time. I don't have as many people in my life now, and I kind of like it that way.

391. Dancing With The Stars Shocker?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Was anyone else shocked to see Harry Hamlin go home this week? I thought between Harry and Jerry, Jerry was the more logical choice. I loved Harry's performance last night.

390. Let the rain fall down ...

I think awhile back on this blog I said that sometimes you have to make the unpopular decisions even if people won't understand it. People may not understand everything you do, but it isn't for people to understand really. They don't have to understand every little single thing about you because it is you living your life and not them. You're the only one in charge of your life. Your destiny and your happiness is in your hands and no one else's. Sometimes things just change, and you don't know why. You can't explain it. You don't even want to try to explain it.

I've had the same posters on my walls for over five years. I don't even have interest in the same things anymore. The posters need to come down. Yet they stay up. The people in my life stayed there and some maybe stayed longer than they should have. Things just change, and sometimes that connection fades. Sometimes one half of the equation changes, and when it comes to any relationship it takes two to make it work. Sometimes there is nothing to fix because nothing is there anymore to fix.

Making the unpopular decision isn't always easy. That's why its unpopular. It isn't easy, and it might even be something you fight. Then you just come to a point where you're tired of the fight. Friendships, love, any type of relationship really is never easy. They can change over time, and the change shouldn't be looked as something negative. Change happens, and it happens for a reason. I've always believed that. I've been fighting something for months now, and it finally came time to do something. No one else could.

And the posters came down. Its time for a change, and I'm the only one that can do it.

389. Strange Changes

Monday, September 25, 2006

About five years ago, I made a friend, and she wrote slash fan fiction, which is basically gay erotica based on characters from television shows or real life persons thrown into situations you create for them. By that point, I was already watching Queer as Folk. Somehow my friends managed to talk me into trying to write a slash fiction story because I already written a few straight fiction stories. For the next two years, that was all I wrote, and then I decided to try and write original stories instead of just fan fiction. My fan fiction had done well, and I had readers. I just knew I wanted more than that. Up until about six months ago, I was writing gay erotica/romance pretty much exclusively. Then my muses dried up, and they are still getting back to work now.

However, for the first time in years my mind and my fiction has gone straight. Something which I never thought would happen. I have a few ideas on why, but I won't go into why here. I'm trying to switch gears mid-race it feels like though. All this time has been spent trying to write this one way, and now my mind is going in this entirely different direction. It's taking my mind a bit to catch up. Its strange though. I know writing more straight fiction would probably get me published easier. The market for gay fiction is still growing. You just never know how hard it is going from trying to get into the mindset of gay man to having that same man not be gay and actually straight. You learn to program your mind to write one way, and it is just not easy getting your mind out of that set you've had it all these years. I'm working on it though because I do have some ideas in my head. It is just the same problem as always - getting them out of my head and down on paper.

My fiction isn't the only thing that is changing. I see changes in other places as well. I'm drifting from some again, and this time I really so no hope of returning things to what they once were. I've been thinking a lot about past friendships, the ones I have lost and the ones that I still have. I'm not the best of friend material. I like being to myself too much. I like my writing, and if I could write all the time and not interact with another person I would probably be content. Some might say that is kind of crazy, but it is how things seem to work best for me. I've sort of had that the last couple of months with a role play story line I started. It's all about the writing and creating the story being played out with minimal interaction otherwise. Its kind of nice to just lose yourself in the story and the character. Plus, its fun too.

The last few nights I've actually taken it pretty easy. Not having to sit and recap and review the shows I watch actually has been refreshing. I've watched all my favorites. I loved Grey's Anatomy and Ghost Whisperer this week. ER probably had the best season opener they have had in a few years. Am I the only one wanting Abby and Luka to fail and Carter to return? Maybe that is just because I spent a little bit of time watching Carter/Abby fan videos on youtube this past week. Youtube is one of my latest addictions, and people seem to post so many fan videos on the site. I've watched some for some of my favorite shows, and some are really well done. I wouldn't have the patience to sit there and put one of those together.

Last night, I watched the premiere of Brothers and Sisters. It has been hyped all summer, and I could see why. I found myself crying at the end of the episode because it was just a powerful start to a show. I'm trying to wonder though if this show might end up being too much for viewers. Its vocal and out there. I know I liked this one episode more than Vanished all season. Tonight is the premiere of Heroes, and I'll be checking that out as well. I also got Six Degrees after Grey's Anatomy thanks to my trusty DVR, and I definitely see potential with that series as well. This week we have the return of even more shows and the premieres of others. I'm interested in checking out Ugly Betty, and I'm hyped for the return of Supernatural.

More soon, kids!

388. Note About My Reviews

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I know I haven't had reviews of Bones or Dancing With The Stars this week. Tuesday night, I came down with a migraine to end all migraines, and it is just finally clearing up this morning. Also, the last couple of weeks it has been really hard to focus to write the reviews I have. When I watch a show to review, I'm taking some of the fun of just enjoying the show as its on because I'm trying to catch every little detail I need to for the recap. It is making me want to watch television less, and that is what I don't want to happen. I thought I would have a bit of a break this summer, but the shows I decided to cover started right up immediately. So I've decided to take a smallish break from reviewing for right now and just watch television again. I won't stop talking about the shows I do watch, but my recaps won't be detailed for the time being. Thanks for your patience while I evaluate things.

387. TV Review: Vanished Episode 5

Monday, September 18, 2006

From TV.com: New evidence linking Sara's disappearance with another high profile case.
At the end of last week's episode, we saw a coffin brought up from the bottom of a reservoir. This week, we see just what was in that very coffin. It being empty except for an earring. That earring coming from the body of Amanda McNeal, which is the woman they had found earlier this season. She had been locked in the coffin alive, and then put where the reservoir would be. When the water rushed in, she drowned in the coffin she was trying to get out of. Kelton puts two and two together, and he now sees the connection that someone is trying to get him to make. However, he has more to deal with. It turns out that Ben was transferred to Federal lock-up without his authorization. He goes to check the paper work, and someone forged his name. This sends him to check on Ben, and he arrives to see Ben being attacked by another inmate. Kelton shoots that man, and he saves Ben's life in the process.

We next see the senator in his hospital bed with his children. They don't know that he is faking it to put off the hearings. He wants to tell them, but he knows he can't. The hearings have been pushed back to that following Monday. His associate comes in and he tells them that Ben has been injured. Meanwhile, Ben is questioned by Kelton, and he gives up Quinn. This leads Kelton to search for her, but first he needs a warrant. Once he gets that, they merge onto her apartment, but they find out she has escaped through a passageway underneath her apartment. The passage leads underneath the city, and the FBI under Kelton's command goes through the tunnels in search of Quinn. They do end up finding her just as she emerges.

Meanwhile, Peter Manning has his own problems. The tape he had of Nicky Johnson has been stolen, and he thinks Judy Nash has done it. He goes to her, and she tells him that she wasn't responsible. Someone has took the footage she had to. This leads to them joining forces. Judy talks him into going on air, and once he does the senator sees this. This leads him to remember of an incident on their honeymoon where someone thought she was a woman she once knew named Nicky. Back at FBI headquarters, Kelton is questioning Quinn. She is not named that though. She puts the blame on Ben, calling him an addict and a liar. However, on the woman's laptop they find a streaming video feed that is coming from where Sara is being held. Sara is indeed still alive. Even with the feed, they can't find her without the woman's help. She doesn't appear willing to make a deal though. Kelton does tell the senator Sara looks alive, but not how he knows.

As for Jeffrey, the lie he told about the heart attack is discovered by his ex. She also tells his children, and this doesn't help him much. He also wants to meet with Peter to talk about Nicky and his wife Sara. Quinn is being transferred, and she called the media to be there when it happened. She uses the media to send a message to whoever she is working with. We just don't know what that message is because the text written on her palm is in some unknown language. With a bit of searching, Kelton figures out it is Masonic.We are then taken back to the senator's home to meet Mr. Manning. The two talk, and it doesn't go well. Jeffrey wants Peter to back off, but it turns out Peter might be telling the truth, As for Kelton, he and his team are able to decode the message, and it says to pull the plug. Soon after the message is decoded, the feed goes blank.

This series is still one I'm wondering about. I'm not quite sure about it at this point. It has been picked up for at least three more episodes after the initial six, but FOX hasn't made a commitment passed that. I'm not sure if I'm hooked enough on this show to want it to stick around either at this point. Next week, we have the premiere of Heroes, and that show already has me interested based on the promos I've seen. This will be Vanished's direct competition. Will viewers continue to tune in or jump over to watch Heroes on NBC? We'll find out next week.

386. Sunday Thoughts

Sunday, September 17, 2006

It feels like forever since I wrote something in here that wasn't a show review or recap. To be honest, I haven't had much to say. At least not in here. Last month, life threw me a small curve, and I'm still recovering from it. The good news is I am writing again. I'm writing a lot actually between my role-play writing and my fiction I'm writing more than I ever have in recent months. I started a new story last Sunday, and I've already written 3000 words already. It is a fan fiction idea that came to me when watching an episode of a television show that I used to love years ago, but the show was canceled by FOX.

It seems FOX has this nasty habit of canceling shows I just happen to fall in love with. The first being Dark Angel, then Fastlane had the plug pulled on it and then lastly they cancelled North Shore on me too. That's why now when it comes to FOX I try to not get too attached to the new shows they bring on air. I was so worried about Bones last season, and I'm not sure how Vanished will fair yet this year. That's the only new show that really caught my eye on FOX this season, but I already feel myself losing interest in the series. It just seems to move so slowly, but at the same time they are throwing so much at you.

This week a lot more series make their return. I'm really looking forward to Grey's Anatomy and Ghost Whisperer making their premieres this week.  The promo commercials for Grey's have me in suspense. I have this feeling they won't let us know just who Meredith picks the first week. That just seems like something the writers would do to drag it out. I think with the shows returning I'll find some much needed structure to my life. Some structure that I lost last month.

I had a fairly set schedule of when I would do things, and I lost that. I like having things organized. I like to know when I have to do something because it becomes routine. I don't mean to the exact minute I do this at this time every single day, but at least give me a general idea so I know just what the hell I am doing. Without that, I am looking for things to occupy my time with. With me writing again though, at least I have something to fill my days with. I'm still getting back into the fiction at the moment, but those muses are being a bit more cooperative. I'm playing around with an original idea too, but I haven't fleshed out the idea totally in my mind yet though.

I'm taking things one day at a time. I am trying to have fun with my writing again. Writing should never become a chore. It should be something to do because you enjoy doing. No matter if it’s a character your role-playing or a story you're working on. You need to enjoy the story that is being created or you just won't feel it. That will show in your writing, and I think that was my major problem lately.

Now, I think I'm off to watch my football team play. I'll try to be better about writing in this thing. I just needed a bit of a break

385. Dancing With The Stars Week 1 Elimination

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Last night we saw eleven couples dance on stage for three judges and America's vote. Tonight we find out which couple will be the first to go home this week on tonight's hour long results show. Tonight we also have a special performance by Tom Jones. We take a look back at last night's performances and then we talk to the contestants. We also see some of what the audience thinks about last night's performances.

The judges tell us who they think should go home. Each has a different choice. Len chooses Shanna and her partner, Bruno chooses Tucker, and Carrie Ann thinks Sara Evans should go home. This is followed by another performance by Tom Jones. In the bottom three we see Tucker Carlson, Shanna Moakler and Willa Ford.

That last one is the most shocking because Willa and her partner came in third with the judges last night. We see Shanna is safe, which leaves Willa and Tucker. We don't have to wait before we see Tucker is the one going home. I think that was the most logical choice. Willa shouldn't have even been there, and Shanna has potential. We'll have to see what happens next week.

384. TV Review: Bones Episode 2.3

From TV.com: An overturned garbage truck reveals the body of a young man who's been missing for nearly three weeks. When the investigation reveals that a young girl raised by foster parents is the chief suspect, Brennan becomes disheartened by how quickly the rest of the team lay blame at the foster care system, something she's been through herself. Tensions continue to rise between Cam and Brennan.

Tonight's episode titled The Boy In The Shroud opens up with Booth, Cam and the team finding a body in an accident where an overturned garbage truck hits a car. Bones immediately goes to work, and she says the body is that of a teenage male with several injuries that appear to come from a fall. Back at the lab, the team works on finding out more about the victim. Cam and Booth thinks the boy is a street hustler. Angela is able to figure out how the boy looked by using tissue samples from the shroud that covered the body.

Using the image that Angela creates, they are able to find out who the boy is. Booth and Bones have to inform the parents, and it appears the girlfriend of the boy is also missing. The family blames the girl for it. She was seen to be a bad influence because she was in the foster care system. This hits Bones a bit hard because she was a foster care kid herself. However, both Cam and Booth are all ready to pin the murder on the young girl. This causes Bones to lose her temper and cool, which is something we rarely see her do.

Hodgins finds out that the boy was holding a rose and that he died near a Russian restaurant. As it turns out there is only one Russian restaurant in the area, so Bones and Booth go there to find out more about Dylan and to see if they can find Kelly. Talking to some of the local teens isn't successful, but the two find some good samaritans in the area. The two recognize Kelly and Dylan, and they take them to what appears to be site of Dylan's death. There is even a small shrine. The two find a boy and he runs. Bones chases him down, and the two interview him. He tells them to check into the good samaritans. As it turns out, the man has been arrested three times for solicitation of a minor, all girls.

Things are still tense with the addition of Cam, and that is the only area where there is tension. Hodgins makes an off hand comment about love, and it causes a tense and awkward moment between him and Angela. Booth brings in the man that hands out sandwiches. He says he is now clean, but Booth brings out pictures of girls the man has solicited in the past six months. The man still denies it. Following we see the tension between Cam and Temperance go up a notch as the two disagree over what is the next course of action to take. Cam disagrees with Bones, and Bones says she can't work like this. Cam takes this as her resignation, but Angela informs her if Brennan quits everyone would quit, including Booth. However, Cam is thinking of firing her. Booth then tells Cam he is with Bones no matter what happens, and he also tells her Bones was once a foster kid herself.

Hodgins finds out what the rose was, and this leads them to the US Botanical Gardens. Once there, they find Kelly and she tells them that she killed Dylan. Looks like Cam was right. Kelly is brought in for questioning, and she admits she kills him, but her story doesn't fit. She even confesses to killing the sandwich man, who has also turned up dead. However, his wife confesses to killing him. This leaves Kelly responsible for Dylan's death, but Bones still thinks she is innocent. Angela leads the team in a simulation of the events of that night. This leads Brennan to put the blame on Kelly's younger brother. Bones connects with the young girl. By the end of the episode, we see both Hodgins and Bones reach out. Hodgins to Angela and Bones with Cam. This episode might mark a turning point for both pairs, and it was one of the best episodes of this season so far. I'm looking forward to what happens next, especially with Hodgins and Angela.

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