55. Good news!!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Well I heard back from the editor that possibly wanted my article yesterday, and the article has been sold. Even better, I think I might have snagged myself a column. My article was a review of this week's episode of Queer as Folk. After some rewriting, and some small editing changes by the editor, my article is now posted, and the editor said if I continued to review the season as the episodes air that they would more than likely be interested to purchase the articles. So, I'm possibly on cloud 9.

It's only for the season of Queer as Folk, but there is also Will & Grace in the fall and the L Word's next season early next year. The editor said to keep writing and submitting because they need good content related to the GLBT community. All of this because of a tip from Emily Veinglory suggesting I post some of my gay related content over on Gay Link Content. So as of right now my article is live over on GayWired.com

In other news, I have my two flashers ready to send off tonight. I need to send one in the next hour or two cause it is due today, and then Desdmona's is due tomorrow, but I think I'll submit it tonight, and I do need to write tonight. I'm just a bit bouncy and happy at the moment. I can't sit still. I heard of the article being accepted hours ago, but I wanted the link to post and share with all of you before I said anything.

54. Memorial Day ramblings

Monday, May 30, 2005

Today is a day we remember those men and women that fought bravely for our freedom, giving their lives for it in some cases. My father is a WWII veteran. He entered the marine corp at the age of seventeen to go fight for our country following the attack on Pearl Harbor. He fought in the Pacific campaign, and my grandmother allowed her son to go. He is still with me today, but there are so many that lost their lives. This day is to remember them, and I do.

In this day, where everything is made commercialized, sales are the standard for this day. Not sure if it is fitting to celebrate this day by looking for the best deal, but I admit today I went out and did just that. I saw a great deal on memory for my computer and I went out and bought it. Installed it myself, too. I'm a bit handy with the computer. I just hadn't had the funds to buy the memory needed til now with the deal they had. It did take me about an hour, what would have taken only minutes for a tech to do at the store, but I saved the installation costs for myself. Computer is running a bit smoother as well.

In other news, I think I just sold an article. I had posted a review of Queer as Folk's episode last night on a site, and I had an email from an editor this morning interested in the content with a few changes. I made the changes they mentioned, and resubmitted the article. Heard back an hour later, and they had expressed interest in purchasing it with one more change requested. Which I did. Now I'm waiting to hear back on the final word.

Today and tomorrow I need to submit the two flash shorts I wrote, and work some more on one of my WIP's. I didn't get much done this weekend, but I did get some done. Just need to do more. A writer's work is never done.

53. The Good Old Days

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Every once in awhile I get bit by a sense of nostalgia. Today I decided to rearrange my area a bit, meaning I moved around stuff in my room. I'd been wanting to do it for the past few days now, and I got the urge to just get it done. There is some stuff that I can't move due to wires and plugs and the like. I moved what I can, with the help of my brother, and my room looks different. It's amazing what a few small changes will do to the look of a room. While I was cleaning up afterward I found some old CD's, I had thought were lost. Yes, my room can get a bit messy, but I found an old oldies CD of my mother's and I played it. I found myself dancing to music I hadn't heard in years in my room. Songs like Runaway and The Wanderer, both which automatically remind me of my mother. I now hijacked my father's oldie CD's, and I'm ripping off tracks, and planning to make my own mix of oldies I love to play whenever I want.

I love music, and I usually have music constantly playing in my room. If not, then it is the television. I love ripping off tracks or getting new songs from friends and burning my own mixes of songs I love. Yesterday, I downloaded a fan-made soundtrack mix someone made for Queer as Folk, and the music is so wonderful. A lot of artists that I never heard of before, but when I heard the songs play I instantly fall in love. I think music and lyrics helps me. Sometimes I get stories idea from my music listening, a lyric will catch my hear and my mind will begin to wander. Does music play a part in your own creative process? Do you use it to write by? Inspire ideas?

Today it was my brother's birthday back in California, so I decided to give him a call. He asked about the writing, and I said I was working on it. He replied that I've been working on it for a long time. Then I reminded him for a couple of years I really wasn't working on it, and he is why not? You need to work if you're going to do it. He is right. I need to work it, and I think I'm working it now more than I've been in the past.

I want to thank all those that left me supportive comments about my rejection. I believe it was Crystal and Silma that mentioned getting my support from those online, and I do that. I do look to those over at Divas and the other places I hang out and make friends to support because that same support is so lacking here. Thank you for all your comments. I love getting comments, and everyone I've met since I began blogging has been so wonderful. So I'm saying a big THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

Enjoy your holiday tomorrow!

52. Saturday rambles ...

Saturday, May 28, 2005

So last night I didn't get much done. The rejection took a bit out of my sales, but I'm getting back on track today. R's are never fun, but they are a part of the writer's life. Can't let them hold you back for too long right? Right. I did have an idea about the rejected short last night while I was looking over the calls for submissions over at ERWA, a little twist that I can add on, but would still keep the word count low, but maybe make the story give more a punch. So I wrote that down on one of my index cards to work on later. Every time I have an idea for a story I write it down on an index card now. It isn't the lack of ideas that stops me from writing, it is the actually sitting down and getting the words out and down that is my problem.

I have started writing more since I began to write in my blog though. In the past two months, I've written more than I have in maybe a year or two. I had the worst case of writer's block for about a year. I couldn't write a thing, and it was quite upsetting to me because usually words came so easily to me. Since that block though, the words have been coming harder. I'm hoping that changes. I noticed that Evolution has a monthly writing challenge, and I think I'm going to sign up for that. Start off small, and then as the months pass, hopefully add on more to my word count totals every month.

I've been also wondering if I should focus on my gay fiction writing for a bit. Those words do seem to come easier for me. More and more publishers are also becoming open to same sex relationships as well, so it might be a place to start. I'm still pondering that though. I think whatever kind of couple fits the story is what I should do. I just tend to see more male/male couplings in my head when I get ideas for stories.

When it comes to my writing, I don't get much support on it from my family. My brother never brings it up. My father has pretty much stated it will never happen, and that's it. I actually had a talk with my brother today about my dad and what he thought when it came to me, and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I just wish he could see that I can make it. I have the belief in myself, but I wish he had it too. Like my mother did. It days like today that I wish she was still alive.

51. Organization and other rambles

Friday, May 27, 2005

My day began later than normal because as soon as my dad came home from work, we decided to go out shopping. I needed to pick up something from the stationery store, and he needed to do some grocery shopping. Came home, and then I played model for my brother so I can get some new photos of me taken. I had been looking for a picture of myself to post in my sidebar, and all my most recent pictures are at least three to four years old. Once that was done, I finally came online. Instead of my day beginning at 1pm as usual, it started at 4pm, so I feel a bit behind schedule today.

Last night. I ventured over to the Evolution chat room, and I sat in there while I worked on some things. I didn't get much forward progress on Lonely Street, but I did work on it some. However, I did get some editing done on the two flash shorts that I'm sending out in a few days. Caught a couple of typos I had missed before in the first one I wrote, and cut down on some wordiness on the second one. I actually am quite happy at the how the first one turned out. To me it read well, and I'm hoping it reads the same to the contest judges. The second I think needs some more work, so I plan to let it set for a few days and then take a look at it Sundayish.

Last night while in the chat I took a good look at my work area, and I asked myself how I got any real work done? My desk is usually a mess. I ended up taking about half an hour just to clean it up, dust, reorganize and straighten things up. It looks tidier, and I put things I know I would need in places I could easily grab them. Reorganizing my desk then led my mind down to organization when it comes to my writing. I am one of the fly by the seat of my pants kind of writers. I don't plan much, plot much, do charts for the characters, etc. I started to wonder to myself if I did some of those things I don't really do, if I would be more productive when it comes to my writing. On a good day, I can probably crank out 1,000 words in any given WIP. This varies depending on what I'm working. If I'm working on a flash or short story, sometimes I can get the whole thing done in one setting, sometimes two. Depends. On a longer work though, 1,000 is good. However, sometimes I don't get that far. Take last night for example, I got about two hundred words done on Lonely Street, which is my gay romance WIP. It was good 200 words, but I wish I had done more. I did work on the two flash shorts though, so I think it balanced itself out.

I did find a pack of index cards and an old index card holder when I was cleaning my desk, and I think I'm going to start using those to help me organize a bit. Maybe use them to write down scene ideas, plot bunnies that bounce into my head at any given time. Maybe a little more organization would help me get things in order and be more productive when it comes to my writing. What works for you? Are you another pantser like me? Does organization help you? What types of organization methods work best for you?

In other news, just heard back about a short that I submitted to Clean Sheets, and it was rejected. Sent it in about a week ago, so at least the R was swift so I can try elsewhere. I just need to see where else it might fit. Right now though I'm off to bake some cookies.

50. Where does it go?

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Mood: calm

The it I'm referring to is time. It seems to be in constant motion. Never stopping, and before you know the day is over and you feel like it just begun. Most of my afternoon was spent staring at HTML and CSS coding, trying to get the comment links on my blog to work like I wanted them. I was determined to do it, when I couldn't figure it out after almost an hour I put out a call to someone I knew had them the way I wanted them. Luckily, with Nonny's help, I was able to get it done.

A good chunk of my days is also spent keeping an eye on my three month old kitten, JJ. He's really adorable, and I took pictures of him the other day finally, so hopefully someday soon I'll have pictures to share with you all in here. JJ doesn't know the meaning of mom's busy writing so leave her alone. He has this habit of jumping on the back of my chair and clawing at my back when he has to have attention right now. Of course this usually happens when I'm in the middle of writing a scene. He's still young enough, and he will learn as my older cat has to sit lay on the bed behind me and watch what I'm doing. I happen to love both my cats though.

Lost last night. I'm not sure what I think of the episode. It was a bit slow in parts, but entertaining. It is definitely one of my favorite shows, but I think it is one of the shows in which you have to think. You have to catch all the little details because if they don't make sense now, they will make sense later. I actually sat down with my brother before the show came on and talked about the show. He watched the first few episodes, and it didn't grab him because he felt the show was too slow. I then told him that I thought it was a thinking person's show, and he nodded in agreement. He is more of the fast paced show person. He likes action at every turn. He loves watching sports mostly, so I guess it is because of that.

It's kind of weird with all the shows being off air now for the season. My nights, except for Sunday with Queer as Folk, are fairly empty. Maybe I'll be able to get some more writing done. Last night I think I might have jinxed myself by saying I had been writing every night because I didn't really write at all last night. I still need to work on the one flash short, write another, and maybe get some more done on Lonely Street. It's one thing at a time. Tonight the house is empty, and I'm on my own for dinner, so I'm going to get going. Maybe get some writing done after I eat.

49.TV ramblings & weekly writing update

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Mood: hungry
Music: Miracle - Bon Jovi

First off, those that come to my blog on a regular basis might notice a new look for my blog. Over the past week or so, I've been going through the template sites, trying to find one that I liked, and could easily be implemented by me. I finally found one that was both last night, and it went live sometime late last night. It's kind of summery, and I like it. Thanks to those that already noticed it and left me comments.

Tonight is the Lost season finale, and I'm excited to see it. The promo for it looks good, and I'm very interested to see how things turn out. I've watched all the season finales for my shows. This being the last one. I sniffled a bit when ER ended its season, and Carter walked away from the ER. That show has long been one of my favorites, and I was really sad to see Carter go. He's been there pretty much since day one. I did they did good sending him off. It was understated and subtle, and I did like the small mention they gave to Dr. Greene. The episode where Dr. Greene passed on is probably one of the hardest episodes for me to watch. It made me cry. Grey's Anatomy really didn't shock me. I don't know, but I kinda of figured that would happen when I saw the previews for it. With all the seasons ending, one is just beginning, the premiere of Queer as Folk was back on Sunday, and I loved it. I'm glad I'll have something to keep me occupied over the summer months. I'm also wondering if there are any plans to bring North Shore back for the summer, since the season ended in February, and its first season started in the summer months.

On the writing front, things are going rather well. Every night this week, I've worked on something. I did finally tackle a bit of the scene in my one WIP, and it is at a point where I can easily pick up and continue on. I also worked on another flash piece for another contest. Heard of another flash contest just in the last couple of days from a post over on Queer Writer's. The deadline is just in the next few days, but I do have an idea for it, so I'm going to try to get that out as well. I have three flash contests all due on or around the first, and I only realized that the first is just a few days away last night. Where did the month go? I do have two flash shorts ready. I just need to edit and make changes. I think I'm excited about Lonely Street again. I was a bit lost on where to take the story, but I think I know where to go with it now, and once I get the flashers done I hope to sit down and really get to work on it. I think if I buckle down and really work on it I can have it done sometime this summer.

On the reading front, I finished reading Cole Dempsey's Back in Town by Suzanne, and I totally loved it. I read it whenever I could find a free moment to read. Easier said than done, but I did find the time. In fact, I made the time to read because the story had me hooked. I definitely recommend it.

48. Waiting for your ship to come in ...

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Mood: pondering
Music: No Doubt

Today over in my blog hopping, which isn't hopping much at all really because I use Sharp reader to feed me all the RSS feeds from blogs I read. Makes things easier and a bit less time consuming. Today I read a post over in Beth's blog, in which she discusses a post that was made over at Book angst. I made my way over to see what was happening, and some of the comments left in response to the post made me raise an eyebrow. One author, Darlene Ryan, posted a happy report about her own writing. This opened her up to comments about she was a hobbyist, and not a writer. She even said she wasn't making enough to support her family, but it was just her she could live fine on what she earned.

This post and its comments started to make me ponder. The publishing industry isn't the easiest business to get going in. For a beginning writer, it is hard to just come out swinging with the first book and hit the best seller list. Yes, it is has happened, but for most writer's, it is a hard process. It is also a lot of hurry up and then wait. You might write a story, submit it, and then have to wait months and months to hear back from the publication about the submission.

As a writer, I think you have to start somewhere. You have to submit. You have to sell, and hopefully the more you write the more you will sell. It just seems there is this difference of opinion between writers on what makes a writer. Then you also have the difference between writer and author. Anyone can writer, but what makes a writer an author? Some say that selling your work makes the difference between the two. Some might even say you're really an author until you've sold a book. Now you even have the difference between e-books and print books to factor in. Things keep changing so quickly, and in the future there is even a chance that paper books might become obsolete because e-books are so much easier. I happen to like reading paper books though. I like being able to hold a book in my hands.

Yes, I'm a writer, and no this isn't just a hobby for me. I want to see myself make a living from this someday. I'm not there yet, but I know in time I will be. I have also been called a hobbyist in the past. And yes, I am taking the longer road to publication. I've only started working seriously on my writing again in the last eight months or so. I know if I had kept up what I started a few years ago, I probably would have been farther along by now than I am. This isn't something that is going to happen overnight. Writing is one of the hardest businesses. It is something I enjoy doing. I enjoy writing. I enjoy putting words together. I enjoy creating characters and writing articles. The fact I enjoy what I do doesn't make this a hobby. Not for me, and not for anyone. With time and hard work, it will happen. It just isn't going to happen right now. We just have to wait for that ship to come in.

47. How time flies ...

Monday, May 23, 2005

Today I woke up and got ready to go out. My father and I needed to run some errands for the house, so off we went a few places. All done in under an hour. We're really not one to go out for long periods of time looking at this and that. The only time I'll spend more time looking and browsing if if I'm a book store of an office supply store. I seem to spend so much time in those two places. I can spend hours looking through shelves of book. When I was younger, it was the library. I'd have one of my parents drop me off at the library, and come back in an hour or two. I'd go through the children's section, finding books to take home and read. I was an avid reader. Every two week, I'd take at least a stack of ten to twelve books home to read.

Then I found the adult section when I hit around 12. My best friend at the time brought some romance novels to school, and lent me a couple to read. That is when I began reading romance novels. Almost twenty years ago, which just makes me shake my head in amazement. Time does fly doesn't it? Just a couple of years shy of twenty though. The books back then were much more tamer than the books written today, but I enjoyed them. I then really decided to pursue my writing. I wanted to put stories together like the ones I read. My father and mother raised some eyebrows when they noticed the books I was coming home from the library were a bit different than the ones from the children's section. I brought not only romances home, but horror novels too. I've always been a fan of Stephen King and Dean Koontz. Both authors I read a lot of back in my teens. I started buying their books, and I read them from cover to cover.

Now I go through the shelves at the grocery stores or the bookstores, and I recognize the names of the authors of the books on those very shelves from blogs I read on a daily basis. Blogs have put me in touch with those authors. When I began blogging this last time, I had tried it two times before, and it never went anyway, I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't thinking I was suitable for blogging, but I wrote in a personal journal everyday. Blogging should be no different. The friends that read my personal journal aren't writers for the most part, and I wanted a way to connect to those that I knew also wrote. I'm really glad that this blog attempt has succeeded where the two previous tries have failed. I like my blog. I like reading the blogs of others.

As for my writing, I didn't get anything done last night. I got a headache around midnight, and I went to bed early. It's from the heat here. The past week the temps have been hitting over a hundred, and the air in our apartment isn't cooling things down too well, so I get headaches, and its hard to write when your head is pounding. I plan to tackle things tonight, and I found another flash submission call with a short deadline, so I'm going to try to put something together for that. Speaking of deadlines, I put a small deadline calendar on my sidebar. It has some deadline's for upcoming submission calls and contests. I plan to add more as I learn of them. I have a few up there now. It is mostly for my benefit, so I can keep track of things I want to submit to, but if anyone else can find the information useful, feel free to take a look.

46. A lazy Sunday

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Ever have a lazy but productive day? I've had one of those, but most of the productiveness has been in my mind. I think I've worked out some ideas for my one WIP, Lonely Street, and I am hoping to get going on those ideas tonight. I'll talk more on them tomorrow maybe. I'm letting them work themselves out first. After I watch the Grey's Anatomy season finale, and the premiere I've been long awaiting for Queer as Folk, I hope to tackle them. Thanks to Suzanne posting her own pet, I now have one of my own.

So everyone meet Lucky. He's also in my sidebar, if anyone wants to ever bug him. I was also tagged by Helen Kay for the book meme, but since I did it yesterday, I'll direct anyone curious to my responses to entry 45.

adopt your own virtual pet!

45. I've been tagged!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Mood: headachy
Music: Novacaine - Green Day

I find it amusing this song started to play as soon as I typed headachy. Actually been feeling a bit tired the last couple of days. Took a nap at eight last night for a couple of hours. Woke up and did some reading. Then went to bed at 3am. This is unusual for me. While I was reading though, I had an idea for a scene in one of my WIP's, so I plan to get that out this weekend sometime.

Today I've been tagged by Beth to fill out this meme!

Total number of books I own: I don't think I can honestly count. I have a bookshelf full, and I have more in my closet. In cabinets in the other room. I colud safely say hundreds.

Last Book I Bought: I actually bought a whole bunch at the recent church fair I went to a couple of months ago. White Oleander by Janet Fitch, some titles by Nora Roberts, and a whole bunch of Star Wars universe books.

Last Book I Read: I finished reading Key of Valor by Nora Roberts last month. I'd read the first book in the Key Trilogy, and this one. I still need to read the second.

Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me: Now this is hard for me. I'm always reading. I have tons of books that I love. I almost collect books. My bookshelf is full of books. It'll take me forever to read them all. Although I have put an awfully big dent.

The Stand by Stephen King I read this in my teens just before the movie came out. I read it cover to cover in probably less than a month if I recall correctly. In 1994, LA was hit by the Northridge earthquake, and my building was condemned. I lost my entire book collection at the time, and this book was one of them. I happened to pick up a new copy though at one of the book fairs I go to, so this made me happy.

The Witching Hour by Anne rice This is my favorite book of Anne Rice's, and probably one of the first of hers I read. I couldn't get into the Vampire stories she had written, even after seeing the movie, but this book pulled me right in. Another 1000 page book that I demolished in about a month. I loved it.

Sanctuary by Nora Roberts This was one of the books I read by Nora. I just started reading her in the last few years, and I've actually read this book more than once. Nora seems to be able to put the right amount of suspense and romance together in her books that make a very good read.

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks I read the book a couple of years ago, and finally saw the movie a couple of months ago, and it had me in tears. The book is one of my favorites, and the movie is good too. A classic story of love lasting and conquering all.

The Joy of Writing Sex: A Guide for Fiction Writers I first heard of this book a few months ago on Romance Divas, and I had to order it. I loved it, and I find it one of those must read books for any writers that write sex in their fiction. It covers straight, gay, and you get it straight from those authors in those genres. Definitely worth the money.

Picking my books actually took longer than I thought I would. I love so many. It's hard picking just five.

The five I'm tagging are: Sela Carsen, Laura Bacchi, Nonny, Lynn Daniels, and Sheri.

44. TGIF

Friday, May 20, 2005

I didn't make it to my blog yesterday other than the entry with my review of Episode III. The movie was excellent, and I was already to come home at two in the afternoon, and get down to work on things. I usually come on around that time, so I was still on track with my daily schedule, but yesterday was just one of those days my daily schedule was not going to be followed. One of those things came up that needed my attention. I happen to moderate a few lists over on Yahoo. Non-writing related ones, and usually running them takes no time at all. Approve membership, keep an eye on emails so no one gets too snarky. You know the usual. Well, when it is a moderately popular fan list for something, and one of those that is a bit in the know speaks out about the future of the reason why all the people joined in the first place, things go crazy. One email has now made its way from the list to all over the Internet.

Dealing with that gave me a headache, and there was no hope of me getting anything done. I did make some more edits on my Torquere contest piece, and that has now been sent out. I had a few eyes look at it, and I'll have to wait a little under two weeks to see what happens. Crosses fingers. This weekend I want to start something. I have the edits on the one novella to get back to, but I feel like working on something. I've got my one male/male WIP, and I'm playing with ideas in my head for that. I think it is probably about half way done.I still have Paradise sitting on the back shelf, and a few other ideas I'm bouncing around. I need to work on another flasher for a Logical Lust contest.

The other night I was sitting here wondering if it would be just easier to work a so-called normal job. A nine-to-fiver. Get up every morning, go to work, come home from work. Eat dinner. Go to sleep. Repeat. I'm not one that likes so much structure. I've never really been good at the whole nine-to-five thing. I was wondering if it would be easier though. This writing thing really isn't easy, and I'm still pretty new to it. Even if I have published a few things here and there. I'm still learning. We all are when it comes right down to it. Writing and improving on the skill you have as a writer is a never ending process in my opinion. I know I have my own weaknesses. One of them being passive voice. I'm working on getting better because I know active looks and reads better, but I seem to always fall back to passive. I'm working on it. We all have those things that we need to work on. What's yours?

43: My review of Episode III

Thursday, May 19, 2005

NOTE: This review might contain spoilers for the movie.

Two words that immediately come to my mind after seeing Episode III today is visually stunning. The next two would be action packed. I saw Episode III this morning, and I think it might be the best movie out of the prequel trilogy. All the loose ends that could be tied up were. How did one boy from Tatooine become the most hated villain in history Darth Vadar? That question is answered. It had begun to be answered in Episode II. We saw shades of the man that was to come, but it is only in this movie that we truly are able to see the rise of the menace we grow to hate in the later trilogy.

From the first moment the movie began, my eyes were glued to the screen. Star Wars has been a part of my life since I was the tender age of one. I actually remember my parents taking me to see Episode IV in the drive-in. That event being one of my very first memories. Episode III did not disappoint me in anyway. At times, I felt I was there in the fighters flying along with Obi-wan and Anakin. The graphics are that well done.

The story finally felt as if it was being told right. In the earlier prequels, I was left wanting more. Episode II was way better than Episode I, and Episode III made them both pale in comparison. This movie was the best movie by far. Not one doubt in my mind. All the characters were there. All the favorites. A few small surprises were thrown in. Who knew R2-D2 could so easily fight back? We all know Yoda could, and once again he did so. Even if he did fail, and forced himself to exile. That we knew would happen because of events in the next part of the series. We knew the twins would be separated at birth, and raised by who they were given to in this movie.

We finally got to see the reason behind Anakin becoming the metallic monster Darth Vadar. That scene was hard to stomach, and probably disturbing to some of the younger people in the audience. The story itself was heartbreaking. Not only Padme, but also the killing of so many innocents, which is glossed over. We know it was done, but it isn't mentioned much. Yes, that was probably due to its PG-13 rating. A rating that Lucas said he wanted to keep so that all the fans of the movies, young and old could see it. Any more graphic and an R rating would have been slapped on it so fast.

I think this movie might have saved the Star Wars name. So much has been said negatively about it since the previous two releases. Episode I didn't do all that well, and Episode II only faired a bit better than its predecessor. The only questions now are the years in between Episode III and Episode IV. What about the raising of the twins? It is a small point to some, but for the die hard fans some want to know. We might find out. Their is talk of two shows in production. One in cartoon format, and one a live action show. So the story really isn't over. I don't think the Star Wars story will ever be truly over. Their will be books, and if the television shows do well we will have those for at least a few years. Their success is yet to be seen.

Episode III is non-stop action from the first moment the movie begins. There are battle scenes, both in space, on land, and hand to hand combat. Their is sadness. Their is heartbreak, and in the end their is hope for a new beginning with the birth of Anakin's and Padme's children. All in all, everything is settled and I left walking the theater satisfied with the conclusion. Also left a bit saddened because I knew in my mind the movies were indeed over. These movies have been a part of my life since the beginning. I don't know a life without Star Wars. I'm not as fanatical as most are about the movies, but these movies are a major force in my life, no pun intended. I am sad to see it end, but all good things do come to an end sometime. I'll be excited to see if the shows for television currently be discussed make it to air.

42. The day before ...

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Who was the person that mixed up the days of the Star Wars release in her head. Yep. That would have been me. This is the girl that started a countdown six months before Episode II was released. So instead of Friday, I shall be going to the movies tomorrow morning. Star Wars has taken over my brain today. I might be a bit obsessed with it, but it has always been a part of my life. One of those ever constant things. I've read a good many of the books, and when I saw a whole pile of them for sale at my church's book sale I picked up all they had, all seven. At fifty cents a piece, it was a bargain. I was considering picking up the hard cover for Episode III, but it wasn't in my budget. I can wait for it to be released in paperback, and pick it up then if I still want to.

I'm in the polishing stage with my Torquere contest submission. My CP said it was sweet and romantic, with good description. Yes, I even managed to turn a masturbation piece sweet. I also pulled out an old short that looked to not have made it into an anthology I submitted to months ago, and sent that off to Clean Sheets. Hopefully something will come up there. I need to work on more edits for my novella, and I'm also missing the boys in my Lonely Street WIP. I need to see where I'm going with them. I've got about seven thousand words down there. I'm thinking it will turn out to be at least double that before I'm through with the story going in my head.

I've continued following some of the discussion going on with blog entry I discussed in my blog entry yesterday. Yes, the author apologized. This is good, but it turns out some are blaming the publisher for the author's words. Every person is responsible for what they say. Yes, she did stand up and apologize. She did that on her own. I do commend her for that. I don't see one author's words causing me to not buy books from the publisher. If I see a book I want, I'll buy it.

Last night, I was thinking about that entry and another I had read earlier in the week. In both, the author of the blog seems to put down other authors. One because of genre, and the other because they have self-published. There is a stigma with self-publication that I will talk about another time.Why should one author put another or others down though. We all write. We all write differently and in different genres. Their are so many readers out there, and enough books for them all. If a reader wants to buy a book, having another in the same genre or that was self-published isn't going to stop them from buying it.

I guess I just don't see why it happens. We're all writers. All of us work together to improve our craft. I've seen so many writer's helping other writers improve themselves. Forums such as Romance Divas, The Water Cooler @ Absolute Write, and Erotic Romance Writer's Forum, all help writers. I spend some of days there, and I see writers helping others. When one writers puts down another, it makes look like some kind of competition which it is, but not in the way where we must put down those that also do what we do. I guess I may never understand it.

41. So what if you think it sucks?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Mood: shocked and annoyed
Music: Wild Night - John Mellancamp

It seems there is no lack of controversial topics to discuss this week. I've found three things that have made wonder and ponder in my blog hopping this week. Right now, I'm going to focus on one of them because after what I just read over on Shannon Stacey's blog, which led me over to Jaci Burton's, I think I am quite appalled by the entry that I found them discussing by Diana Laurence over at Novelspot.net. I'd dropped by the site in the past, and looked at a few of her blog entries. I really wasn't grabbed by her content, so I didn't continue to read on.

This entry bashes an entire genre. A genre that I am aspiring to publish in myself, and according to this author the entire genre sucks. Yes, within any genre, you do have some bad examples of writing, but that small sampling of books or stories doesn't make an entire genre bad or make it suck. I am the type of person that believes their is a book for everyone. What one person doesn't like another person will. What might be sucky to one, to put it lightly, might not be considered sucky to another person.

As writers, we all have genres we like to write in. Within those genres, we each go our own way with our writing. We follow the examples of those writers we enjoy to read. All writers are also readers. They read almost as much as they write. They read books, not only for enjoyment, but to see what works. One author looking at the genre as a whole and then deeming that it sucks is basically the author shooting themselves in the foot. The reads will see the author's words, and they will remember them.

As a writer, we may all find books or authors we don't particularly enjoy reading. Everyone has their own tastes. Their is a difference though between not liking an author and bashing an entire genre of authors. This might also fall under the "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" category. You may dislike some authors and books, fine. That is your preogative. If you're going to discuss that dislike, especially publicly, perhaps some tact is needed. Their are ways to express an opinion which might not offend everyone that reads it. Saying it sucks is not it.

A quick edit: Seems while I was writing this the author of the blog in question did post an apology, which is all well and good, but I know I for one was offended, and others were as well.

40. The week begins ...

Monday, May 16, 2005

Mood: busy
Music: Echelon - 30 seconds to Mars

I never did make it here to write in my blog yesterday. After I finished cleaning on Saturday, I came down with a mini migraine that lasted well into Sunday. So I took it easy, and didn't do all that much writing wise. I did write a new editorial over on BlogCritics which you can find by clicking my reviews on my sidebar. It is a review on the second season of The L Word which ended last night.Next week the last season of Queer as Folk begins, and I am excited about that.

Back on Saturday when I was cleaning, I stumbled upon an old novel manuscript. I took a long look at it, flipped through the pages of the hard copy I had, went looking through my hard drive for the computer copy, and found that. Originally the novel was 70,000 words long, and I never did complete it. I went through the chapters, and I found what would be a goos starting point for a possible novella. A lot of the story was repetitious and useless back story. So over the next few weeks, I am going to try to clean up and edit what is already there, and then go about writing an ending. The plot is similar to the Jennifer Lopez movie, Enough. Not exactly like it, but close, and I wrote it before that movie was released a few years ago. Right now, I have about 26,000 words, and the story is a bit dark. I'm wondering if there are markets that would take a darker romantic suspense. I'll have to look into that. Any suggestions on that are welcome as well.

Today at some point I need to pick up on the Torquere short. I should be able to knock the end out in a sitting. Just need to get to work on it because the contest ends on Friday at midnight. Just can't concentrate when my head is pounding. I did get some starting edits done on the novella though, so that's good.

Thanks to everyone that stopped over at my site, and left comments. It is fairly basic at the moment, but I do plan to make some more changes in the near future. Right now I'm off to blog hope. I did things backwards today, and wrote in here first. Have a wonderful Monday everyone.

39. Another weekend begins ...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Mood: productive
Music: I shall believe - Sheryl Crow

Another Saturday is upon us. The weekend is usually something everyone looks forward to because for most people it means no work. Not for a writer because a writer's job seems to never be done. If it isn't one thing it is that other thing. If it isn't the actual writing, it is doing something writing related. I woke up today, and did some updating to my website. Changed the background, added some links to my writing page of things I've done in the last few months. I hate staring at HTML, but I have a system that works for me which makes it a bit easier to deal with. It is still a free site, but I'll work on that later. One step at a time.

I wasn't able to get anything done with the Torquere short. I'm sitting down tonight after Saturday night movie night, and tackling that. I was distracted last night by some things that popped up last minute. I also need to clean my room today. I'm a packrat with books everywhere, so I need to go through and organize, pick up, and move things. That should take an hour or so.

My review for Beauty and Submission by Maria Isabel Pita is up over on Romance Divas. The book discusses the Master/Slave relationship through the words of one sex slave. If this topic remotely interests you, this book is a definite read. The author wrote about her experience so vividly. I couldn't put it down.

38. The dreaded Friday the 13th

Friday, May 13, 2005

Every time this date falls on a Friday, people are always fearing what this day will bring them. This day only really reminds me of some cheesy 80's horror flicks with a character that has become much more than he was intended to be. Yes, I'm talking about Jason from the Friday the 13th films. There are still movies with this character being released to this date. Probably even more in the future will be released, but I think the movies that were made earlier on were truly scary and the movies now are more gore fest than truly scary. You only look away now because it is visually unappealing and gross, rather than being scary.

I'm a girl that loves a good horror flick now and then. although I do tend to watch less and less of them because most are just stupid based on their basis premises. I usually don't go to see them in movie theaters anymore either. I wait until they come out on cable because then I'm not wasting eight dollars on the movie by sitting in a movie theater for two hours where there will be a phone ringing, a baby crying, or the theater will be too damn cold for comfort. I actually rarely going to the movies anymore, but I will be venturing out early next Friday morning to go and view the last installment of the Star Wars prequels. I could probably go on and on about my love for the Stars films, but I shall refrain for now.

I guess I see this day just like any other day of the year. Just because the date usually has some superstitious meaning attached to it doesn't mean it really is a bad day. I guess I'm the type that feels that if these things were meant to happen on this particular Friday, they would happen regardless of this being the 13th. Although I have seen some have some bad luck on this date. It does make you wonder at times, but I just keep going about my day.

Last night, my lazy day turned into a somewhat lazy but productive night. I actually signed off my instant messenger quite early for me and read a good part of Cole Dempsey's back in town. I've been pulled in the story already, and I can't wait to read more later. Once I was done reading, I opened up Word and began to work on my entry for Torquere Press contest. I got about half of it done before my brain fizzled on me. I'll work some more on that tonight, and I also did some more polishing on my Desdmona entry. Not much you can do with under 300 words, other than make sure you use those words to the best of your ability.

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

37. Bit by the lazy bug ...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Mood: lazy
Music: Whatsername - Green Day

Today I woke up feeling completely totally drained and lazy. I've been puttering around online since I came on a couple of hours, trying to stop being lazy and write in my blog following reading the ones I read on a daily basis. Thanks to those that wished me with the article. Still waiting to hear back, but I'm being positive about it. I was reading over on Crystal's blog earlier about all the waiting us writer's have to go through. The job doesn't end with the writing. It is just the beginning of a very long process. Then you have the submission, the waiting back on that, which can sometimes take weeks or even months. It is a never ending waiting game, and for someone that is impatient, like myself, it makes it a constant battle to stay positive while you are indeed waiting.

Maybe that is why I haven't submitted as much as I could have over the years. The waiting and waiting for a response, and then more often than not getting that ever popular rejection. I have so many short stories or ideas for articles bouncing around my hard drive. Some sit there because I'm not sure where to submit them. I'm working on looking for places, but there are so many out there. Some that pay, and some that do not. For example, I have one 2500 word short that I wrote back in December. With a bit of polishing, I know it could see the light of day somewhere, but I'm not sure where. It has really no sex in it at all. It is one of those sappy sweet short happily ever after stories. I'd like to submit it somewhere, but most places I've seen want sex. They want heat. Yes, I write heat, but this story didn't call for heat!

I also have a few shorts of an erotic nature that could be resubmitted places because they never were excepted elsewhere or I'm waiting to hear back. One I sent out in January, and the editor is still looking for a publisher to pick up the anthology last I heard, which was about six weeks ago. I also have short gay coming out story I wrote for a contest that could probably go somewhere, but I don't know where. I'm rambling away about the stories languishing away on my hard drive. There are so many, and I'm sure everyone's hard drive is the same. Hopefully, I'll get to work some tonight on my submission for Do It Yourself contest. Been bouncing around ideas for it the last couple of days. Also sat down and put a rough draft for the flasher I want to submit to Desdmona contest later this month. I hope this lazy feeling goes away soon!

36. A little bit of everything ...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Mood: calm
Music: Shape of my heart - Backstreet Boys

I had one of those wow moments last night. Someone I have known since elementary school googled my name and found my blog. They dropped a comment and tagged my board. When I saw the name listed on my email when I got my comment I might have screamed, but I had to hold it in and internally scream because it was post-midnight and the rest of the house, minus my two cats, were asleep. I'm really excited to get in touch with this person again because she was my best friend all through my school years.

This is where the wow moment came in. You thought it was her actually commenting right? That was pretty great too. She googled my name and found me. My name is something that can be found and associated with my work and my blog. For a newer author, name recognition is important. Beth even mentioned the importance of name recognition in her blog on marketing today. Over the next few days, she will talk about marketing further, and the first post was already a wealth of information, and I'm looking forward to more discussion on the topic.

Yesterday, I sent out a query on an article, and I heard back within the hour with the go ahead to write the article from the editor. I sent off the article this afternoon, and I'm patiently or impatiently waiting to hear back. It is always hard to send stuff out. I still have the moments of wanting to hide my writing forever. Not when it comes to my blog, of course. With other things. Articles, stories. I somehow relate those things separately. I'm also playing around with the Desdmona Fragrant Flash Contest. When it comes to short flash pieces, I tend to play around with them in my head for a bit until I finally sit down and put it down onto my screen. I've been working on this one in my head since last night. Maybe I'll try to get something down in the next day or two.

I think last night was the first night in weeks I found myself in bed by 4am. Yes, insomniac remember? I was flipping through my cable stations late last night, and stumbled upon an airing of the Red Shoe Diaries. I saw the episode was just beginning, so I kept it on, and it reminded me why I loved the show. For those that might not have heard of it, the premise of the show is that woman send their letters to Red Shoe's, and he reads them. They tell them about love, romance, sex. All of that is poured out in a letter to a complete stranger they will never meet. In this episode, a woman writes about an affair that was began over a serious mysterious letters. She does figure out the source, and it is a student in her law class. The letters are hot and steamy, as was the sex. In the end though, red shoes says "Well now that is romance." The episode had the perfect blend of erotica and romance. Which is what authors that write in that genre want. They want the sex, but they want the romance too. Finding the right mix isn't easy, but it can be done. I'm still working on it myself.

Today I received my copy of Suzanne's, Cole Dempsey's Back in Town, and I'm really excited to read it. I might have to set my copy of White Oleander aside for a bit.

35. More blog talk ...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Mood: tired
Music: Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

It seems once a week, I end up seeing something about blogging pop up on someone else's blog. I also read a blog all about blogging and its trends. They talk about how blogs are really booming right now. Advertisers are ever starting to look to expanding their ads to more blogs and even into RSS feeds. More blogs pop up almost daily. The latest one drawing all the attention being the celebrity blog being put out by Ariana Huffington, The Huffington Post. It went live this week, and I heard about it on another another's blog, Paperback Writer. When I saw her post about it, I went and checked it out for myself. Added the blog's feed to my RSS feedreader to see what was up after seeing some of the names blogging in this blog. The list was impressive, and I thought it would be cool to check it out.

I have quite a few things added to my RSS reader, blogs of author's, personal sources of news from different places. I usually go through all my author blog posts every morning, and my feed reader updates throughout the day and pops up when their is an update. With the personal things, I usually decide whether or not to read the article by the headline. Well, I watched the headlines pop up for The Huffington Post, and not one headline grabbed my attention in the full day I had it added. It was updated hourly with three to four posts an hour almost, and not one caught my eye. i decided quite quickly to remove it because it was a good chance if not one post in a 24 hour period got my eye then not many would. I did take a look at a few of them just to see, and I'm not all that impressed.

Over at Blogcritics where I post some of my articles, I've seen three or four posts also come in just since I came on discussing this one blog. It certainly is gaining a lot of attention. One article came to the conclusion I had already. This blog is mostly of a lot of articles with iffy quality at best. It seems a process of flooding the site with content now to get it off the ground, but if it is going to stick around maybe some more quality is needed.

Blogs are gaining more and more popularity, but they really aren't a new thing. People have been using online journals for years. I think they are gaining more popularity in certain areas. One being the writing industry. Authors and others are writing more and more blogs. Blogs are usually included in authors websites. As I mentioned before, I've had an online journal for years, and writing in that became a daily occurrence for me over the years. Just as this is becoming a daily thing for me. It is a way to get things in my head out and meet others as well.

Today over at RTB, Sylvia talked about blogs and mailing lists and other ways for others to communicate with the author and if the readers are finding it easier to know the author better. I think the blogs and mailing lists end up being more for the author. Yes, their are readers out there, and the do read along as well. The blog is the place for the writer to write about them though. Their life, writing, or their views on things in life in general. Mailing lists are there for the writer as well. Yes, there are separate readers list. Although, I'm not currently a member of any. I am a member of a few mailing lists, where the focus is on the writer, and I do learn from them. I'm also a member at a few message boards. Again another wonderful resource for the writer.

I know things were drastically different only years ago. The Internet has opened up so many doors for people, not only writers. For writers though, it has made communication and submission so much easier. I've been on line the last eight years now, and I can see the changes that have occurred in the last few years. instead of mailing in a manuscript to an editor, only to wait weeks to hear back. You can email them your manuscript, and sometimes get an immediate response. Sometimes within hours. It makes things easier I think.

Some worry that blogs are just a trend or a flash in the pan. They will be huge for a bit, and then fade out. Yes, some blogging authors might fade, but there will be others that take their place. I think that blogs are here to stay.

I wrote this post a couple hours ago, and it really amused me the ironic twist that came about when I tried to post this. The site went down for scheduled downtime. It was to go til 5pm PST. At 5:10, I came back and the site was totally gone. My own blog didn't open, and none of the others did either. It's back now, but how is that for irony? I type that last sentence and the blog service decides to go down on everyone.

34. Open your mind and you're free ...

Monday, May 09, 2005

Mood: calm
Music: Illusions - Ryan Cabrera

This was one of those interesting weekends. Not so much for the whole of it, but the way it ended. I was really down this weekend, as you could see by earlier entries this weekend here. This weekend is usually not the best, but I deal with it. I was able to get a page or two done in my gay romance WIP,and I looked over Paradise. I kept trying to figure out why it wasn't grabbing me, and if it was just me being overly critical because of my mood. So I sent it off to someone else to look at it, and they came back with much of the same things I was thinking about when I looked at it. He needs a lot of work, and I might need to go back to the beginning with the story and start over. Seeing that brought my mood even lower for a little bit, but then something else happened. A blast from my past so to speak.

I'm sure we all have people that were once in your life that were important to you and that you cared about deeply. No matter how much you cared though and no matter how much you did love being around them, they were more of a negative for you than a positive. I've had one of those, and they decided to contact me last night out of the blue. The last time we spoke was a little over a month ago, and it was odd to hear from them. They left me a comment to my personal journal just to see if I was okay. My first reaction usually when this person comments now is to freeze, but I didn't do that this time. I actually held a brief conversation, and I let them know in a roundabout way I was doing better without them. Which ended the conversation.

If this was a week ago, the reaction and how I handled it might have been different. It showed me something though. Them commenting me showed me I'm a lot stronger than I was, even a month ago. Earlier this morning before I went off to bed, Jill made an entry about the traits we'd like to gift society with. I said:

  • No matter what seems to happen in my life or what life decides to throw at me, I may fall to the ground, but in the end I pick myself back up and dust myself off. I think I got that from my mom, and I wish I could make others like that as well. Yes, things can happen. Bad things. Good things. Its all in how you deal with those things that makes who you are.

I always seem to be able to do that. I've had many people come and go in my life, and things have happened that would make most people throw in the towel and just call 'game over,' but I always seem to come out on top or at least better for it. I learn from my experiences. I learn from the things people seem to throw at me. I take those events, and sometimes use those feelings and emotions in my writing.

Writing isn't an easy thing to do. I've been writing in one form or another, and I'm still trying to make it. I think a lot of my time spent is being too hard on myself, too critical on my writing. I'm trying to work on that. I should probably let others judge my writing and not myself. At least for now. I thought about grabbing another CP too. Six eyes are better than two.

Days like today with Helen Kay's call entry show me that if you keep at it and pursue your writing it can happen. Just got to keep it up. I think for now I'm going to work on a few short contest entries due in the next few weeks. I don't think I'm going to make it in time for Phaze's contest. Paradise needs a lot of work.

33. Thank you, Mom - Happy Mothers Day

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mood: remembering
Music: Drowning - Backstreet boys

First off, a happy Mother's Day to all the mothers that read my blog. I know I have a few of them, and I hope you had a wonderful amazing day. I really hadn't intended to blog today, but I was hit by the need to do so earlier, and I'm just now getting the chance to do so now. Mother's Day usually isn't one of those holidays I enjoy. Along with a couple of other days that pop up throughout the year. My mother passed on ten years ago this coming July, and I still have my difficult moments. I'm not a mother myself yet, so I really have other reason to celebrate this holiday.

My mother was an amazing woman. She adopted me at the age of three months. Her and her husband. Technically, she was my grandmother, but I never saw her as such, and I didn't know the family history until a year or two following her passing. She had never intended me to know, but somehow I always knew. My mother adopted me because my parents were unable to properly care for me, and some things had happened to demonstrate that. In fact, I am fairly lucky to be sitting here typing this at the moment. I was about to be put in state custody, when my grandmother stepped in and adopted me. They were afraid I wouldn't survive, and my younger years were full of difficulties.

My mother stood by my side and raised me the best that she knew how. She wasn't perfect either, but I knew that she loved me. She stood by me and gave me encouragement. I think I mentioned in my blog in an earlier entry how she gave me a tape recorder when she figured out what I was doing during my play time. I wasn't just playing house. For a six year old, I was creating scenes and characters even then. She bought the tape recorder and tapes enough to keep me busy, a never ending supply of tapes popped up. when I began to actually be able to write these ideas down in story form at the age of ten, I had the pen and paper needed. when I wanted a typewriter in my teens, she made sure I had one, and the ink and paper needed for it always handy.

I'd spend hours at my type writer, just typing away. She never asked to see my stories. They were definitely not the best, but the fact is I was writing. One of them was this suspense story about a man that kidnapped three girls and locked them in his basement. I sadly have no idea where the manuscript is now, but I do have some character sketches around somewhere. I wrote and wrote that story. I wrote others as well, some fan fiction in nature.

When my mother passed on, she had been ill for many years. Since my pre-teens, she had suffered from one illness or another. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I was told what her illness was, and that she probably wouldn't live much longer. She lasted until the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. Losing my mother was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I wasn't all that close to my father, and we're still working on things with us. I live with him, but sometimes I wonder if we're little more than acquaintances. My mother was my world. Her constant love and support are something I miss in my life, but I know she is still here. She still is supporting me and encouraging me, even if she isn't here. She gave me the courage I needed to reach for my dreams. It's just taken a bit longer for me to really go for it as I'm doing now.

I love you, mom. Thank you.

32. The doubts that plague my mind ...

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Mood: doubting
Music: Believe - Lenny Kravitz

A rare Saturday post from me. I usually do not post in my blog on Saturdays cause I try to take a night off from it. Tonight I have a night of movies planned, but I had this weird mood pop up before I went to bed earlier this morning, and it has hung with me today.

Last night I was sitting here at my desk asking myself if I could do this. I know I can. Sometimes it just seems to be so much to do. Not just the writing part because that is hard enough. Just all of it. I find myself drifting from people that I consider quite close to me because my time is now more focused on my writing. These friends of mine aren't writers themselves, so it is hard for me to go on and on about my writing. All I seem to want to talk about now though is my writing, my blog, things I've read on a board or another person's blog. I've introduced a couple of friends to blogging even, and they are also enjoying it.

I just feel myself wanting more time to do it all. I know I need sleep, or else I'd be up even later than I am. Last night I was able to get in a good interactive session with my writing partner. We hadn't been able to pull out our set in almost a month, and I was missing that as well. Even with the time away we seemed to fall right back into it. Our couple was no worse for the wear.

I know this mood is probably do to non-related writing influences. This weekend is usually not an easy one for me the last ten years now. I guess I just need to take a deep breath, watch some movies and hope the mood passes. It usually does. Maybe pull out one of my WIP's later.

31. Blog tag and wrting weekly update ...

Friday, May 06, 2005

Mood: content
Music: Poster Girl - Backstreet Boys

I was tagged by Marie, so I shall do that in a second here. On the writing front, I haven't written my weekly update yet this week. Progress has been slow, but moving along. I'm not too sure of where Paradise is going yet. It hasn't really gotten to the hot stuff yet, but it is getting there. I'm ten pages in, and the scene I'm in is going to heat things up, but I'm wondering if that is too long to wait for an erotic romance to jump in with the heat factor. I'm also still pondering the idea I mentioned the other day in here. Laura called it foursome follies, and I'm intching to start it, but then I look at my other WIP that I've been working at a snail's like pace for the last few months, and I feel bad for starting another one. In the chat the other night though Sylvia mentioned she usually has three WIP's going at the same time, so maybe I shouldn't feel so bad?

Anyway on to the tagging!

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge...
If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a mob boss...
If I could be a backup singer...
If I could be a CEO...
If I could be a movie reviewer....

If I could be a professor ... I'd be an English professor sharing the love I have for the written word with those around me. Teaching those younger than myself how to appreciate those words contained within books pages, and possibly even create their own pages if they so choose.

If I could be a scientist ... I would create cures for all the illnesses in the world that so many suffer from. No more illness or pain. No more mother's dying before their time. No more parentless children.

If I could be a Jedi ... Being the Star Wars freak that I am, I wolud be the one Jedi that lives when it appears Anakin is going to kill them all off. I would be the one to change destiny, and stop the rise of Darth Vadar. Yes, it would totally screw up things, but it would never happen, so I'm allowed!

If I could be a TV talk show host ... I would be the female version of Jerry Springer, watching people fight on stage, and then trying to make it all okay with my final thoughts on the matter. Haha! I couldn't even type that without giggling.

If I could be a CEO ... I would run a company so big and huge that I wolud have a TV show just where I can say 'You're fired!" every week. Although it might be funnier if I said "You're the weakest link, good-bye!"

I had fun with those last three! I am tagging ... Crystal and Jill. Pick 5 from the list above and post in your journal, and tag someone else.

30. These walls I climb to get to your story ...

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Mood: busy
Music: Ordinary - Train

I had a lot of thoughts come into my head last night, and I almost sat down to write another entry here in my blog, but I decided to let the thoughts I had just spin around my head for a bit. I was also busy attending the chat over at Writers Chat with Sylvia Day. The chat was wonderful, and it went longer than the two hours, but a cut into my writing time was worth it. I also won one of the night's door prizes. The last one of the night in fact, so I'm really glad I stuck around, and I look forward to receiving my book in the mail.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about one of my WIP's. Actually more thinking than actual writing. Last night I saw a picture of the man I am using as a model for my hero, and I positively screamed because that was just him. In those two pictures I saw last night, that was the character, the look I wanted for him, and it was perfect. I'm wondering if that makes it odd that I am using a celebrity as a model for my hero. I find myself doing that a lot though it seems. Am I the only one or are there others that do the same? I just seem to do better with a clear picture of who the characters are, and it is easiest to use ones of people I know or see around me. I need to stop thinking and start writing though. I also saw an interesting contest I'm going to attempt to write something for.

Moving on. In my blog hopping today, I found some blogs written by HelenKay and Alison Kent that caught my attention. Both discussing professionalism and writer opinions. If an author mentions something about a book that they may not like, I don't know if I would call it unprofessional. It all depends on what is said, and in my opinion if it is said tactfully then there really should be no problem.

I've been journaling for several years now, and I have seen similar issues pop up when things have been said in journals or comments left to journals. Not so much related to writing, but more personal entries, and I've seen the problems those words have caused. It all comes back to what is said, and how it is said. Since these are words on the screen, just letters strung together, it is difficult to know the tone of the words being typed. We don't have the benefit of tone of voice or facial expressions with this online forum. It makes it hard when things get out of hand over a comment made in an entry. Intentions seem to be otherwise, but it comes down to how the words are perceived by those reading them. That is just what I've experienced in the past with other journals.

29. To blog or not to blog ...

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Mood: busy
Music: Free falling - Tom Petty

It seems the topic of blogs and blogging itself has been coming up more and more. Today the talk prompt on the RWC list was blogs, and there was even a blog over on Romancing the blog a few days ago talking about blogs and the effect they have on whether or not a blog reader will buy the author's books based on the blog. Blogging is becoming more and more popular, but online journaling isn't really a new thing. They have been around for years, and I've had a journal myself on one of the online journaling sites for many years. It was a way to make a connection with others in the specific fandom I wrote in. A way for me to make friends and get to know others like myself. In the past year, my online journal on one of the journal sites has become of a drama center than anything good for me. I've met some here online that aren't really the best people to know. Yet I called them friends, and it is hard for me personally to allow friends go, even if they do cause me more grief than happiness. The people I've met through my online journaling the last year are not writers for the most part. If I go on and on for entries about my writing, I get no response at all.

I'm a writer first and foremost. I like talking about writing, learning about writing, meeting and talking with other writers. Even if it is just through comments, emails and blogs. I like to learn what works for others and what others go through on a daily basis. Blogs allow me to see that. I have a number of blogs that my RSS feeder downloads for me on a daily basis. If I find an interesting blog, I add it and read it for a few days. If after that time it catches my time I keep reading. If not it gets deleted. I like reading about a little bit of everything. I love reading craft type entries. I learn from them. I like writing about my ideas and thoughts about writing in here because maybe something I say might help someone else that also writes.

I wrote in my journal on a daily basis, so it is easy to for me to do so in here as well. Yes, there are days when I don't feel like writing in, and if I don't? Then I just don't. My friends that read my online journal know that I have a blog, and one of them has even jumped on the blog bandwagon too. Everyone has their own reasons for blogging, and personal type blogs are just one type of blog. There are so many blogs out there. Everything from news to celebrities to characters and fiction type blogs. The writing and author's type blogs are just the tip of the iceberg in the blog world.

I'm just curious myself to those that I know and read my blog what are your reasons for blogging? I know this was asked on RWC, and a few of you might have answered the questions on RWC, but I'm just curious myself. For the published authors, does it help in the way of promotion or is it more just for yourself than a selling point when it comes to your books? For those that are yet to be published, does keeping a blog help you and in which ways?

I'll answer myself. I blog because I love to write. Yes, even in here. I think it does help me because I do get to put things out there that I wouldn't normally write about in my online journal. I wouldn't write a whole entry about character creation in my journal for example. My blog keeps me writing, and since I started keeping this blog and interacting with other writers, I have started writing more. I have more ideas come to me, and the desire to get them out and down onto the screen is stronger. So yes I do believe my blog has helped me. What about you?

28. Telling their lives with our words ...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Mood: contemplative
Music: Killing me softly - Lauryn Hill

I was sitting here after I came home from a shopping venture and listening to one of my mix CD's. I love taken CD's or music I've found and making custom mixes for myself. Music is always playing throughout the day for me. This song came on my CD player, and listening to it the song can really be applied to writing. At least some of the lyrics.

"Singin my life with his words. Killing me softly with his song. Telling my whole life with his words. Killing me softly with his song. I heard he sang a good song. I heard he had a style, and so I came to see him and listen for a while."

As a writer, we tell the stories of our characters lives. They tell us what to say and we put them down in words we create. When you write, the words become a part of you. The second they leave your fingers and hit the screen or the page, depending on your medium, they become yours. They are your creation, and they have meaning.

The same can be said about characters in fiction. Over time writing them, characters can take a life of their very own. You create them. You give them life. You give them emotions and feelings. You give them thoughts and you give them things to say. You, as the writer, do all of this. With enough time, the characters can seem real because you gave them life. You made them real. Hopefully, when those that read the work eventually, the characters will seem real to them, and make the person reading somehow identify with them.

This reminds me of a phone conversation I had months ago with a former friend of mine. I was speaking to him about a character of my own that I have created. This is a character I created for an interactive fiction. My partner and I have been writing these two characters for well over a year now. At one point, we were writing them daily. She would write hers, and I would write mine. With enough time and effort, these characters have taken a life of their very own. They feel real. They seem real. We know they aren't, but we've both put so much into them and their creation, they seem it.

I told my friend this, and he told me to stop talking crazy. Characters are just that, characters. They aren't real. The way I see it though. They are real. They are real because as the writer it is your mission by the end of the story they are contained in to become real to the person reading it. If the characters aren't real, then the reader doesn't feel the story. There is no message received from it. They are left feeling empty and with a sense of wasted time and loss.

The characters in your story need to be real in order to be memorable. If the reader can somehow internalize and identify with the character, then you, as the writer, have done your job and hopefully done it well. The characters you create should leap off the page and be living and breathing entities on their own.

This is something that takes much practice to do. It isn't something that comes naturally to every writer. Character development is something that is learned over time. There are methods to it, ways to help you do it, but in reality it is something that takes time, effort, and above all, patience.

27. Blaze a trail ...

Monday, May 02, 2005

Mood: calm
Music: Let the river run - Carly Simon

In case anyone hasn't picked up on this fact already by reading my entries, I am a chronic insomniac. I am up to all hours all of the night. 4am is not unheard of. The occasional 7am in the morning all-nighter does happen. Sometimes it isn't even meant to happen that way. I go to sleep at 5am, and then lay there for two hours because I can't sleep or I am not allowed to sleep. My kitten, JJ, is only three months old, and he hasn't learned to sleep on my schedule just quite yet. I lock him in with me in my room at night, so he doesn't roam around the house and get into too much trouble. Well, this just means he is stuck with me when he decides to wreck havoc. This morning was one of those times. I actually had to grab my pillow and go sleep in another bed. Luckily, my father works at 4am, so I just took over his room for a few hours. I knew I needed sleep.

Something great happened when I was laying there around 5:30 this morning though. I had this idea for a story pop into my head. It kept running over and over through my mind. It seems that is when most of my ideas come to me. As I fall asleep or while I'm in the shower. Of course, these are both times when a computer is not near me, so getting the idea down is next to impossible. I just have to cross my fingers, and hope that I remember the idea when I wake up.

Well, today was one of those days that I did remember. It was for a male/male story. Actually two different couples though. Four roommates living together in one house during one summer. One pair starts together, break up, then one of the other roommates confesses or develops feelings for one of the newly broken up men. A fourth guy moves in, and then things heat up with him and the other guy left. So you have two couples, one broken up couple still living together and their new romances. To me it just spells a recipe for humor and endless possibilities. I guess I'll add it to the to do list. Don't you wish there was enough hours in the day to write everything you want when you want to write it? I know I sure do.

Last night, I received an email from the First Draft mailing list, and I might have laughed right out loud. The article linked went right along with the entry I wrote about yesterday. And of course the link that worked only last night doesn't work for me now. I'll link it anyway just in case it works for anyone else. The article was called If It Were Easy, Everyone Would Do It! by Linda Francis Lee. And it covered a lot of things. I'm sure we can talk about the reasons why we write and why others write. Everyone has their own individual reasons for venturing down this path. The fact of the matter is they are your reasons, and your reasons might be different than mine. I write because I love it, and yes I'd love to earn a living with it, but I know in order to do that I'll have to work hard. I'm willing to do that though.

26. Sunday Ramblings

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Mood: tired
Music: I Alone - Live

Well, it looks like I got nothing done yesterday. Nope. Not one thing. I took it easy, and I'm starting to wonder if Saturday might be my lazy day where I just don't get much done. Although I did have a good reason for not getting much done yesterday. I didn't go to bed til 7am on Saturday morning. Had an expected migraine that popped up out of nowhere around 1am that night and it kept me til 7am. I woke up four hours later, and I was absolutely feeling drained and sluggish the entire day. I hope to get some work done on Paradise Found sometime tonight. I did write a page back on Friday night before the headache hit. After Grey's and L word probably because I love both shows and I seem to drop everything when they come on. I've actually been known to be rude to people when L word comes on and I'm watching.

Today in my blog surfing I read a couple of blogs talking about writing and how hard being a writer is. HelenKay referred to a book for romance writers and how easy it is to get published these days. I have the same question she asked. How is this easy? Writing is not an easy thing to do. It is something some do have a talent for, but just because one has the talent has the skill or the talent that doesn't mean they will make it. They have to work at it. They have to write. They have to get the attention of an agent, editor, or publisher that wants to publish them. It isn't easy. There are days where the words don't come at all.

If it is so hard why do people do it? Why do so many people try to become an author? There are so many books lining the shelves of your local bookstore, and all those writers started somewhere. They worked at it. Improved their skill. Basically worked their butts off to get where they are now. A name on a book on that bookshelf. Some writers write for the money and the fame. They want to be the next Nora Roberts or Stephen King. Do you know how hard it is to become one of those big names everyone knows? Even if you don't read her everyone has at least heard of Nora Roberts. The same goes for Stephen King.

Then you have the writers that write for the love of it. They love to write. They love to put words down on paper or onto the screen. They love to create characters or write informative articles, depending on what you write. Some love to write and want to make a living from it. That is so hard to do. I'm trying, and I have been trying for years. I write a little bit of everything, and I know eventually all this hard work of mine will pay off. It is hard work. Those that don't write just don't understand. I've had some say that I sit online and do nothing all day. If only that was the case.

Personally, I write because I love doing it, and yes I'd like to be able to support myself someday with my writing. I'm unable to work currently, and if I can somehow turn my love and passion for words and writing into something then I'd be happy. Until that day though I'll continue to write just because it is something I love to do.

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