02 Distractions always in my eyes

Thursday, March 24, 2005

A few random thoughts before I turn in for the night. Those that will end up reading this blog on a regular basis will learn I'm a night owl. I stay up to all hours of the night, and sometimes into the very early morning hours. I'm what you might call your typical insomniac. What is exactly typical of an insomniac? what makes one an insomniac? Is it the basic lack of being able to sleep night after night. When I was going to college I used to sleep on a somewhat normal schedule. I had to because there was classes to attend to.

Now at almost thirty, I really have no set schedule. I'm a homebody by necessity and not by choice, so there is no real reason for me to get up at any certain time of the morning. I go to sleep when I want and I get up when I want. This has led me to write more during the nighttime hours, and sometimes into the late night.

Lately though, my writing has been at a bit of a standstill. I stare at my screen and no words come out. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm writing now. I'm writing in this very blog, but this isn't really the same when it comes right down to it is it? Not really. I want to write fiction. That is my ultimate goal. I enjoy writing non-fiction as well, and I have published much of my non-fiction over the years.

I write about the world around me, how the world effects me everyday in my personal journal. This one viewed by my friends, but I don't typically the world in general see these entries. They are locked to be viewed only by those I know. I watch the news everyday, and it saddens me. It saddens me to see the world in such disarray. People express their opinions, and yes everyone is entitled to their opinions, but sometimes people don't have the correct tact necessary to expression their opinions. They don't care how their opinion comes across, and because it is their opinion they are allowed to say it however they want. If only this was the case. Even when expressing your views some tact is needed because people are affected differently by things people say. Something could strike a nerve and the words can hurt, but you don't want to deny someone the right to express their opinion, so you bite your lip, scream a tiny internal scream and you move on.

This happened tonight to me in fact. I found myself sitting here at my screen biting my lip because someone expressed an opinion on one of the big news stories currently going on. One that have my own views about, and I hope to share those views here in this blog when I'm more clear headed. I just read what they were saying, and I wanted to scream, but it wasn't my place. I stayed quiet. because no matter what I had to say it was their opinion, and they would defend it til the very end. No matter what I or anyone said. I hate being quiet. Maybe that is why I write. I couldn't express my opinion there, but I could use those thoughts and feelings elsewhere to write something. Like I'm doing now.

More soon.