116. Busy times - Announcement

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sometimes things happen, and you somehow just knew you made the right decision. The other night I closed my personal journal because of things being negative on the site it was placed, and not even 24 hours later, I was shown that I had the right choice. Funny how things work like that right? I've been thinking a lot about things lately, and I know at times I let the events of the world around me and my moods distract me from my chosen goals. That goal to be an author, have my stories published, as well as continue my nonfiction writing pursuits. That is what I am doing now. I'm moving forward because that is all you can do.

For the last few months, I've been wanting a place to post some fiction I write. Not all of it. Sometimes prompts come up on message boards or a scene comes into my head that I know won't be used at that point anywhere. The chance is those snippets might never make it in my work. I sometimes stop myself from even getting these ideas out of my head and down onto the screen because no one will ever really see them. So last night, I sat staring at my blogger dashboard, and I contemplated started a fiction blog. Just a place for me to post my fiction. Of course the questions started. Why another blog? Why not just post your fiction in the one you have? All these questions and more floated through my mind. Why don't I just post my fiction here? I always felt weird doing so. Plus, some of fiction is quite hot, and I don't know the range of ages of people that normally do visit this blog. I also decided I wanted a separate blog so that I can attach my fiction pen name to it.

I went to bed at 5:30 this morning going over the thoughts about this in my head. Did I really want to do it? Well, when I woke up this afternoon, I decided I really did. In fact, it might even help me writing more fiction than I am now. Some of those drabbles or snippets could become something else down the line. They could spark an idea that could turn into a full blown novel. You never know. I might create a character or write a scene I can't use now, but can use at some point down the road. The fiction blog won't be updated daily, but updated as I have something new to share.

So I give to you: Eroticisms.

I will let you know when I update my fiction blog with a post in here. Right now you can read a short story I posted on the Literotica site I posted back in November.

In other news, I need to write a review of Beautiful Bodies still. I'm still mulling the book over. I'm not sure on how I want to proceed. Tonight is also the series finale of Queer as Folk. I'll need to review not one but two episodes since Showtime has decided to air the final two episodes together in the United States. I also think I found Kaelin and Daniel, and I wrote some of Crash into me last night. Maybe sometime I'll post a very small snippet over in Eroticisms, so you can all see them and see why I love these two so much.

Congrats to all the Golden Heart and RITA winners. Everyone should be home from RWA Nationals soon. We can get rid of that ghost town feelings we've had this week.

Have a wonderful day everyone!

115. Good news all around

Saturday, July 30, 2005

music:everyday - bon jovi

It seems to be a day for good news. The blogosphere in the romance author world is somewhat quiet today, so I came on and breezed through the blogs I usually visit. I need to go back and leave some comments, but I wanted to come on here first and post. To read some good news other writer's are having, go here to congratulate Briana on her acceptance by Phaze, go here to read about Chrys' latest review, and here to read about the recognition Lori Beth has received for No purple prose. Three cheers for them all.

I have my own good news to share today. Last night, it was brought to my attention by my friend and fellow Blogcritic Joe that I had been chosen as Blogcritics "Blogcritic of the day" for July 30th. Simply put I was chosen as the site's writer of the day. I joined Blogcritics back in March, shortly after creating this blog, and I enjoy writing for the site.It is helping me beef up my reporting and journalistic skills a little. I love reading the articles on there, and I love sharing my own thoughts with others. The site has over 1,000 writers and can get close to or over 50,000 hits a day, so being chosen as their blogcritic of the day excited me greatly. If it is still the 30th when you see this, you can click on over to the site and see the link to my blog on their left sidebar.

My latest article went live on my site early this morning, and it is an article about blogging. I speak about different blogging and journaling sites and my experiences on them since I began journaling online back in 2001. Four years ago this month actually. My latest experience has been on the site Greatest journal, and after seeing much of the behavior on that site over the last two years, I finally put a close to my journal on that site last night. I had mentioned keeping a personal journal elsewhere, and up to this point it had been there. I had found myself starting to dread going there. The site seems to be surrounded by so much negativity in certain circles. I knew it was past time for me to go. I just get the itch to post even now, but I'm fighting it. I know I made the right decision.

Now I only have my blog. I found myself repeating things in both places time after time, and I finally found myself asking the question "Why keep both?" I thought about making a personal blog, but this in a sense is my personal blog. So I might be posting in here a bit more. I think not having to upkeep the two of them might allow me to find time to work on another things.

Such as my fiction! On that front, I heard back from Silma last night on Crash into me. She hadn't found time to do a formal critique of what I had sent her yet, but she did tell me she loved what she saw. I had sent her the full manuscript of what I had so far some time last week. I guess this means I really need to find my muses for Kaelin and Daniel. Hopefully this weekend one of the two will pop out and have something to say. I wrote bit more in my yet to be named project as well. So things seem to be falling back into place. Slowly but surely.

Have a great day everyone.

114. Going unplugged and thoughts on gay fiction

Friday, July 29, 2005

The past few days I had been experiencing some problems with my keyboard. The keys would type, but nothing would appear on screen. Then there would be a beep, and everything I had just typed minus a few letters would suddenly appear. Sometimes the keyboard would freeze for several minutes. I pretty much figured that somehow the wire from the keyboard to the back of the computer was somehow the culprit, and it reminded me of a bit back when my kitten had chewed through the speaker wires. I figured something similar was happening here, so I decided I needed a new keyboard, and possibly even something wireless so future issues wouldn't come up. So today I shopped around the local stores online sites, and found what looks to be a really good deal on a wireless keyboard and mouse set. I only paid 19.95 plus tax for mine. Not a bad deal. Anytime you switch keyboards, there is always some time for adjustment. Keyboards almost seem to become an extension of yourself, and as writers we tend to use them a great deal of our day. So I'm adjusting.

Today in my blog hopping, I found a link to an article that was posted by Monica Jackson. The articles talks about the closing down of one gay bookstore in New York City, and goes on to further discuss how writer's of gay fiction are not labeling their works as such any longer. Since I began writing my stories, which up to this point have been male/male in focus, I really haven't thought about not calling myself a writer of gay romance. No, I'm not a gay man. At least not the last time that I looked anyway. Although at times, I wonder if I have a gay male living in my brain because working with male/ male has been a lot easier for me to work with the male/female. I've only been writing male/male for a few years. Started off with slash fan fiction, and then I finally decided I wanted to move on from that.

The reason's the authors in the article state they left the "gay" label off of their works is because they were either put in a small section with all the other gay books, which in my experience in some stories is quite small. I've actually had to ask for such a section in the bookstores I go to regularly, and they either have a shelf or two or none at all. One book store included the gay books, both fiction and nonfiction, in the sexuality section. So I guess I can understand their reasoning for wanting to not label themselves. I really hadn't thought of not labeling myself. I write male/male fiction, and yes I am a woman. More and more gay fiction these days is written by women. However, the genre does seem to be picking up more in popularity. Which I for one am happy to see.

I guess it just made me think. While some say gay fiction is changing, I think the change is good. There is more of it. Yes, as the article mentions, the focus has turned away from the fact there is gay characters. I think with the diving into the genre that women have made in recent years, the focus is of more on the romance involved, the love story. No matter who the people involved are, love is love, and that is what the focus is being drawn to. In my humble opinion anyway.

Have a great day everyone.

113. Finding the muse

Thursday, July 28, 2005

music:maroon 5

Last night, I watched Closer for the first time. I'd heard a lot about the movie from friends around me, and I had been wanting to check it out for months. Every time I looked for it out on DVD for rent, it was always out. A good sign. Well, I finally found a copy last night, and I sat down immediately to watch it. The movie is just amazing. The plot, the acting, the characters. All of it. Just makes a good package for a good two hour movie getaway. For those that haven't seen it, the movie follows two couples. There is some cheating involved, and there are some truly heartbreaking moments. I don't want to give the plot totally away here in case anyone hasn't seen it.

While sitting there after the movie was over, thinking about it, a weird thought came to me. The movie is open and frank with its sexual discussion, but there isn't one sex scene in the whole movie. It is all just talked about, and that was probably as hot or hotter than having the actual scenes to watch. It made me think of some stories that only mention or refer to the sex instead of going out all with a love scene descriptively. Sex doesn't have to be all out there for a story to be hot and enjoyable. Closer is one example of that. I really enjoyed the movie, and it is the first film in a good deal of time that has totally blown my head right off.

Last night, I also caught the second show of "So you think you can dance." A little less painful than last week. At least the fifty are picked, and they are now moving on to knocking them down to 8, so we can get to the real competition part of the show. Honestly, if the show is going to remain this slow, I don't know how I'll be able to watch. I'll probably give it a couple of more weeks, and see if it gets any better, I have no earthly idea why they needed 90 minutes last night. They could have showed the Los Angeles auditions in an hour.

The good news is I think I found my muse or a muse in any case. I started something new last night. I have a list of things I want to write submissions for, so I went down the list and started on one. I'll probably give Crash into me a good look once I'm back in the swing of things fiction wise. I did write two pages last night, so I'm pleased.

Have a great day everyone.

112. Ghost town and Fall TV

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

music:Anna Nalick

Well it has a small feeling of a ghost town around the blogs I usually read. Everyone has either gone off or is in the process of doing so to attend the RWA conference. I'm not a member of the RWA, so I had no intentions of going to the conference in Reno. A good many have though, so the blogosphere in our neck of the woods here is a bit silent. I'm using the time to dive into my writing and reading. Last night, I finished reading Beautiful Bodies, and as soon as I know the review format I plan to write up that. Good book, good writing. Somethings just left me scratching my head a little, but that's all I say on that for now.

Earlier I noticed that some of the networks announced their fall television schedules, and you can read my write up on that here. I'm really looking forward to the Fall season. There really isn't much on right now that is catching my interest except for Real World and Queer as Folk. My reviews for both of those shows are up for the week, and available on my sidebar if you're interested in checking them out. Queer as Folk ends it series this weekend though, so my Sunday's will change dramatically until the fall season picks back up. Sunday is reserved for Grey's Anatomy for me. The L Word won't be back until early 2006, so I have a long wait for that to come back.

Today while reading my news feeds I saw this article pop up about Dancing with the Stars. As you know I reviewed this show weekly while it aired, and the result left me a bit unhappy. Well, apparently the network and Kelly Monaco were interviewed recently about the show and its end result. Kelly really had a "I do not care" attitude, and when the network was asked if favoritism was involved in her win, since she works on an ABC show. The person answered by saying something to the effect that he didn't know she was on an ABC show. This had me laughing because you would think someone involved with the network would know she is one of their daytime TV stars.

The days are counting down to the beginning of August ever so quickly, and I am quite proud with my progress this month writing wise. I've written a few articles, some paid and some for free. Some of my free ones have been picked up for syndication to other news sites, so that is good as well. I think my perfect job would have me writing about entertainment and television for pay. I get paid for some of my reviews. I'd like to get paid for all of them. This would be in addition to my fiction getting published of course. Maybe someday.

Yesterday I had a small surprise. I had written a few short articles back in January for a project that didn't seem to be working out. It just wasn't for me. The publisher never had even paid me for the little work I had done, and I had chalked it up to a loss. Well, yesterday I got a payment notification in my email from my Paypal. I wasn't expecting anything, so it confused me. However, going to the site and checking up on it showed me who it was from and why quite easily. It was from this long forgotten project. I had seen my articles pop up a few places as well in recent months, so I'm glad I finally received payment for them.

111. Minds always in motion

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Mood: busy
Music: Dream on - Aerosmith

I think burying myself in work is getting me back into the groove of things. I spent more time working on my sidebar today. Moving blog links around and such. I keep trying to figure out why everything is centering. I figured it is some off center tag somewhere, but I can't find it. I keep looking, and I finally gave up. Staring at HTML is one of my least favorite things in the world to do. I actually was in the mood to get creative and work on one of my stories. I told myself I would set down to do just that when things quieted down around the house some. Well, my plans were foiled by real life.

Around eight last night, their was a loud boom, and our power went out for a few minutes. The power came back, and we thought all was well. Then brother realized it was getting warmer in our apartment. Apparently, the loud boom we heard was the air conditioning unit for our entire building blowing a circuit. The power company had to come out at 10pm, and they were working on it til 4am. The air conditioner came back online around 530am this morning. However, with it off, it felt hotter inside that it did inside, or as hot anyway. It was 95 in the house, and 93 outside. Definitely not the best conditions to write in. Definitely not conditions to get anything done at all in.

Last night I received my first book to read for ERRW, Bodies Beautiful by Emy Naso and JJ Giles available through Chippewa Publishing. I began reading last night, and I am about twelves pages in. Good story so far. A few confusing areas, but I'm hoping the confusion is cleared up as the story moves forward.

The past couple of days two things have given me some thought. One being this post by Brenda Coulter, and the second being a comment made by a friend. Brenda talks about the characters and stories living within our heads. As a writer, our minds seem to be consistently in motion. We're always thinking, and as a writer our thoughts are not just our own thoughts, but those belonging to our muses. As we create characters for our stories, new muses are created, and they share their thoughts, feelings, and words with us so we can put their stories down in paper. Non-writers never seem to understand this, and they may even call us crazy. The way a creative mind works is hard for others to understand. We're not like everyone else in the world. The writing life is mostly a solitary one, and I've learned that more and more as time has progressed in this my chosen profession. My mind is always working. Even sitting here typing, my mind is in motion. My mind bounces from place to place. From story to article to an email to a post I want to write in my personal journal. I'm always thinking of what I want to write next. Sometimes even while writing something, my mind is working on something else in the background.

Today, my friend made reference to a Woody Allen quote. "What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?" This could also relate to writing. What if we, the life we live is a story written by someone else. We're all characters in someone's novel, and each day is created by someone else other than ourselves. We're the thoughts in someone's mind. I know it probably seems far fetched, but it was something I thought about for a bit as I was working on my blog today. Our minds are constantly in motion. What if we are creations of someone's mind? Something to think about maybe.

Have a happy Tuesday everyone!

110: Another week begins

Monday, July 25, 2005

Mood: headachy
Music: Everyday is a winding road - Sheryl Crow

Another week begins, and I have one of those sneaking suspicions that this week is going to be busy. Ever have that feeling just as the week begins? In order to pull myself out from out of my small funk I've been in the last week or so, I'm throwing myself into my writing. I'm hoping to throw myself back into my fiction writing as well, but my muses are still being temperamental in that department. Not the case with my nonfiction, so I'm focusing on that right at this moment. I turned in my column on last night's Queer as Folk episode a bit ago, so I'm hoping to see that go live soon. I've also written a couple of short news pieces that hadn't been picked up on the one site I write for. One about the WB mascot, Michigan J. Frog, getting axed from the network, and the second about this year's VMA nominations being announced.

I was actually a bit saddened by the "firing" of the WB frog. I saw the news story this morning, and I can see the reason the network wanted to move away from the mascot. To me it was something that I was familiar with. Something cute and good in the world. With so much bad in the world at the moment we need some reminders of the good. I do understand times changing though. As for the MTV VMA nominations, I'm not too shocked at who ended up on top. Green Day has been a hit this year with their American Idiot release. I know its one of my favorite CD's.

Also some good news to report on my end, I've been added onto the staff at a new erotic romance book review site, Erotica Romance Reviews for Women. I received my frst assignment today, and I'm looking forward to working with the site. I'll be reading e-books from various publishers, and from what I've heard the site will do well. So keep an eye out for that. I'll let you know which book I'm reviewing as soon as I receive it. I have the title, but I'm not sure of author or publisher at this time, so I want to know all the information before I say anything!

Another quick note, I know a lot of you are headed off to the RWA Conference. Some have already left. Have fun, be safe, and learn as much as you can. From what I hear, the conference is an experience. I'm not an RWA member, but that might change at some point in the future. Although I'm not really sure on that yet.

Have a wonderful Monday everyone!

109. Sunday Ramblings

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Mood: trying
Music: My My My - Rob Thomas

I almost didn't make it to my blog today. As I mentioned in past blog entries, I am agoraphobic. Along with this comes depression. Every few months or so, I go through a bad period with it, and things become a bit of a struggle. I don't talk about it much because I don't want to make it a focus in my life. I don't like when these periods occur because usually my writing suffers because of them, and that has been the case the last few weeks. Well, I guess I can't really say it has been suffering because I have been writing.

Yesterday, I mentioned working on my blogroll. Today my work on this blog moved to other parts of my sidebar, and I made some changes there as well. I also fixed a small problems I had been trying to fix on the post item pages of my blogs. Comment author names weren't showing up, and now they do.

So many deadlines coming up, and I know it will be impossible to complete them all, but I like knowing where things are due, so if I get some sudden inspiration for one of the submission calls, I know when they need to be in.

I also updated my word count totals on my sidebar today and added my counter for next month's Evolunacy. As you can see I surpassed my personal world count challenge set by myself at the beginning of July. With a week left of the moment, I'm just over 12,000 words, so I am writing. It is my fiction that is suffering the most.

My muses are hiding from me, and I hate it. I know things will pick up. I'm hoping Evolunacy helps me kick things into gear. Since Evolunacy is a fiction challenge it might. I don't honestly remember the last time I wrote 10,000 words in a story in one month. It's been awhile. I'm such a slow writer fiction wise. What takes me thirty minutes to write nonfiction wise sometimes takes me days to write fiction wise.

Last night, I watched The Village and Anaconda: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Neither really grabbed me. Anaconda was laughably bad, and The Village at least kept my interest some, but I felt it was just a bit slow for me. Tonight is Queer as Folk, which I always look forward to, and then next week we have the series finale. I'm so not ready to say good-bye to this show. Far from it. I'll miss it.

Have a wonderful Sunday evening everyone.

108. Anything but ordinary

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Mood: hot
Music: Ordinary - Train

Another Saturday is upon us, and the heat is driving me insane. At least, I saw on my television today that is not only hot and miserable here but elsewhere. My brother was watching the Cardinals vs. Cubs on TV, and he told me it was 110 there in St. Louis, which is just mind boggling to me. I never thought it reached those temps in that city. Tonight on my cable, we have The Village on one station and the sequel to Anaconda on the other. Since we get both the east coast feed and the west coast feed I can watch both. I'd been interested in seeing The village for sometime, so I'm looking forward to at least checking it out. As for Anaconda, I'll probably end up watching and hiding my head half the time. I have a long standing phobia of snakes, so I have no idea why I even want to watch it other than one of my favorite lesser known actors, Nick Gonzalez, is in it, and I told myself there was no way in hell I'd go to see the movie in theaters because it is harder to hide from the big snakes on the big screen. So I shall at least watch it for him. You might recognize him from his short stint on The O.C. this season or from Showtime's Resurrection Blvd, which I watched while it aired.

The past week I've been doing some work on my blogroll off and on. Adding some new blogs to it. I added some more of the Divas to it, and this morning I added some of the folks from over at the ERWA to it since someone asked if any of the members blogged. A few do. More and more people are jumping on the blogging craze lately. One of my close Internet friends even joined the blogging ranks this week, and he plans to join Blogcritics as soon as the person that adds people comes back from their vacation. He even expressed interest in writing a novel just the other day. He is always asking me questions about my own writing and the writing process, and I enjoy having someone to talk to about these things.

Last night or this morning more appropriately, I found out that Congress is trying to extend Daylight Savings time by two months. Living here in Arizona it wouldn't do anything much to me. I'm in one of those limbo states that never jumps forward or back with the rest of the country. Indiana is another one of those states. The proposal mentions how extending DST it will save electricity. Maybe I am missing something here but I thought the sun controlled the daylight, and not what the time said on the clock. If it is gonna to get dark, it is going to get dark regardless of the time we show on our clocks. so I'm a bit confused. Also just because it gets dark doesn't mean people go to sleep and the electricity goes off. Look at me. I'm up til the sunrise, and I know I'm not the only one. Anyway, I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.

I have felt this strong desire lately to make some changes in my life, but I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that. Sometimes in life it feels like you take two steps forward and one step back, and I have had that feeling more and more the last week or so. I think some changes need to be made soon though. I just don't know exactly what those changes are yet. Wait, I do know one of those changes. I need to get back to writing Crash into me or start work on the other idea I've been playing around with in my head lately. That's the first change to be made. Definitely.

107. Online dating thoughts

Friday, July 22, 2005

With the creation of the Internet some years ago, a door was opened to the world. This door was opened just a crack because at first with any new thing, things bumped along just a little. It wasn’t easy, things were slow, and computers were slow. As things sped up, both connection wise and computer wise, more and more people jumped on the World Wide Web. People began to meet and converse with people that instead of meeting somewhere down the street from them they meet online. This person you meet may not be close. In fact, they can be states or countries away. Chat rooms, journaling and blogging sites, and message boards all allow people that share similar interests to meet and converse.

Once you meet, you can go into the safety of conversing privately through emails or instant messengers such as AIM or ICQ. Friendships develop and build. Some feel that the safety of the computer screen between them that it is safe to open up and completely let someone in. Their thoughts and feelings all on display. For some, their is worry because some that surf the World Wide Web aren’t all that honorable. Some are looking to exploit those that they meet. People of all ages surf the Internet, and teenagers and children that surf are at risk.

This isn’t the point of this post though. Sometimes people meet and over time things just click time after time. The closer you allow someone in, even if it is just words and nicely colored fonts, they are still your feelings you are putting out there. Crushes are common, feelings developing is not unheard of, and yes some even go so far as online date when the feelings are returned. Over the years, I’ve seen others enter online relationships. Those people I consider friends have entered them, and yes I have entered them myself. Both times with a female.

I’ve seen them not work and fail miserably among those I know. I didn’t have much success either, and I'd pretty much sworn off the whole online dating thing. Then I wake up one morning with the realization I have a crush on someone I’ve met online, and after banging my head against a hard wall for a few days I come to the conclusion that it really isn’t that much of a bad thing. For all those, I’ve seen fail I have seen just as many work. I’ve seen the stories of those I know through message boards about how they meet their wife or husband of so many years online. So yes online dating can work. It can be made to work between two people.

I think the problem when it comes to online dating is when the relationship remains only an online one. People want to see the person they love standing in front of them. They want to be able to look into their eyes when they tell them those three little infamous words expressing their love. They want to hold and touch, and as much as we all love the Internet and as much as the Internet has progressed in recent years, we just cant do that.

Yes, you can see them if you’re lucky enough to have a web cam, but still you cant reach through the computer screen and touch the person. You cant wipe away their tears when they cry, or tickle them to make them laugh and bring a smile to their face. I think this is what causes some online relationships to falter. They can only go so far online. Pretty soon the one or the other wants more, and sometimes that more isn’t possible. That's when the relationship comes to an end, and just because a relationship is online based it doesn’t mean that it means any less when a break-up occurs in an off line based relationship.

As a writer that spends a great deal of her time online, online relationships have always held some kind of fascination for me. I practically live online working and writing. I'm not the type to go out. I’ve dated people off line, but it just hasn’t clicked yet. I seem to click more with people I meet here online. That's when the internal debate starts to go through my head. I’ve also always wanted to write a story in which two people online and thus fall in love, but I haven’t yet.

I think online relationships can work if they can move on to the next level. If two people can one day stand in front of each other and the feelings remain, then maybe just maybe the relationship has a chance. I’ve heard of people being totally in love online, but then meet and kissing the other person felt like kissing their brother. If that spark remains in person, then it could work. Then you have those that have sworn off meeting online contacts off line, but that is a discussion for another time.

What do you think about online dating? Have you been in an online relationship or seen someone you know go through one? Or do you think the whole concept is crazy?

106. TV and other thoughts

Thursday, July 21, 2005

So last night I caught the premiere of So you think you can dance. I really was looking forward to the show after how much I enjoyed Dancing with the Stars.Even though the show did end up leaving a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth with how the competition ended up on that show, I liked the dance aspect, so I really wanted to see how this show went. I think the 2 hour premiere was way too much. I think it could have been done in an hour. I felt like it was dragging on, and by the end of the first hour I was ready for the show to be done. I'll stick with it for now, but I hope it gets better. To read my full review on the premiere of the show head over here.

I'm really looking forward to the Fall season. The return of last season's favorites, and there are some shows I'm looking forward to at least check out. Invasion, Commander in Chief, and Prison Break to name a few. I can't wait for the return of Grey's Anatomy and Lost. I'm also interested to see how ER fairs without John Carter. He's been a part of the show since day one, and I know I for one will miss him. I'm wondering if the show will remain the same with such a vital part of the cast missing. I guess we will have to wait and see. What shows are you interested in checking out this Fall? What old favorites are you anxiously waiting for to return?

The heat continues to be miserable here, and I think I had a small reaction to it last night. My head has been pounding since sometime last night too. Went to bed this morning with a headache, and I woke up with the same headache this afternoon. I'm just trying to keep hydrated, and out of the heat as much as I possibly can. When temps head above 115 though, the air conditioning even starts to refuse to cooperate. I will really be glad when this summer is over. Usually the heat doesn't effect me so much. This is the first summer since I moved out to Arizona eleven years ago that it has gotten to me.

This afternoon I woke up to the news about the latest bombings in London. I really don't have any words. There is much going on in the world. So much hurt and dying, and sometimes here in the blogosphere or on my other journal list I read so much negativity about things that in the grand scheme of life aren't worth fighting and ranting over. When there are people dying in the world, fighting over reading or not reading a book kind of seems childish to me. Perhaps that is just me.

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone.

105. Beam me up Scotty

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The first thing I saw this morning when I opened up my bloglines to read my feeds is that James Doohan passed away. This made me sad. As a lover of all things science fiction, I grew up watching the original Star Trek in syndication and movies. I also watched The Next Generation and Voyager faithfully each and every week. They lost me with their latest offering, but I enjoyed TNG and Voyager a great deal. I've always loved science fiction. Growing up it was my genre of choice before I found romance novels at the young age of 13.

I always wanted to write a science fiction story, but I also became a bit frazzled at the prospect. Science fiction expects and requires so much more. If you set your story in another world, you have to create that world and its habitants. That is just mind boggling to me. Crash into me is my first attempt at something a bit science fiction. The story is set on Earth much later in this century. I won't say the story is stalled because when I do find the creativity to sit down and write it, the words are there. They are just slower to come.

To those wondering on my father, he was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon unexpectedly. The doctor's said all he would be doing is laying there for a couple of days, so he might as well do that at home. He's still under the weather, but at least he is home. The doctor's did warn him on keeping to his diet and taking care of himself better, or he'd be right back in the hospital. My father is stubborn, so we shall see how this goes.

To those that are interested, my review of last night's Real World: Austin is available here. Also I realized I forgot to link my latest Queer as Folk review yesterday. That can be found here. I was really quite pleased with this review, and I noticed the fact that both my latest reviews have remained on the main page of the site the last two weeks. The most recent only replacing the other.

Tonight I believe there is a new dance show premiering on Fox. At least last I heard it was premiering tonight. I heard about it while I was reviewing Dancing with the Stars, which was renewed for a second season by the way. I figure I might check it out. Dancing with the Stars left me with a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth with Kelly's win. I still think it should have been John and Charlotte. Hopefully, this new show will be different. I'll at least check it out.

Silma emailed me back today and mentioned all the contests going on with deadlines fast approaching. There are so many, and I know of more she didn't. It could literally make your head spin. I'm trying to pick and choose. Finding the time will be difficult. I know I won't be able to submit to everything I've even marked to try to enter.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!

104. Some blogging thoughts

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I almost wish it was the fall already. Last night we hd our first summer storm. Some heavy wind, lightning, thunder, and just a little bit of rain. The storms here the bark is definitely worst than the bite. The weather and the heat definitely wrecks havoc with my body. Headaches are a daily occurrence, and that is even with the limited amount of time I spend outdoors. I alsdo have had a few random nose bleeds since the weather heated up a few months ago.

Today I received a few interesting emails. One from my CP Silma with some of her thoughts on Crash into me. Some good helpful thoughts there, and I plan to go over them again later. I like having another person's perspective on my work, and now I have two CP's that hopefully look to be working out. I have to email Phoenix later to check in. I'm picking up on the fiction slowly. Dad's hospital visit has my mind a bit frazzled, but he's doing okay. He went on Sunday as I believe I mentioned, and they have run every test known to human on him. He told me earlier before I came online for the day that it looks like they are done poking him.

The other email was off a posting I had on RWClist's writing partner list. I'd heard from someone yesterday, and I had replied. I had almost forgotten I had the posting on the list because in the months it had been up, I hadn't heard much, if anything, from it. The email in response to mine today got me thinking. The writer mentioned their reasons for not blogging, considering it writing for free. This just got me thinking as I was replying to them.

I guess to me I don't see my blogging as writing. Yes, it is writing, but it is writing I would normally do anyway. I've always kept a journal. The things I discuss in here won't normally be written for sale. I talk about my writing, my thoughts, feelings, or anything that comes to mind. I see blogging as a way to get in contact with other writers, and so many authors keep blogs now. More and more everyday. I see the names I see on bookshelves attached to blogs now.

I know writing for free is one of the subjects that has people on both sides of the fence. Some see it as giving your work away. Others see it as sharing their work, a starting point to future sales. I just never consider my blog as writing for free. Am I alone in this? I know so many that do blog, and so many that don't. Each has their own reasons for doing or not doing so. I just know I'd rather blog than not. I just see this as an extension of my personal journaling. This blog focuses more on my writing. While the other focuses on the sometimes silliness or my personal thoughts as I feel them. Content might repeat, but sometimes not. I just love my blog and writing in it. Its become a real tool for me and my writing.

103. Monday Ramblings

Monday, July 18, 2005

First off, let me start with last night's episode Queer as Folk. This show is getting better as the season progresses. The last half an hour of this episode had me in tears and on the edge of my seat. The start of the season was slow, but the episodes are now picking up pace. It really saddens me this show will be over in just there weeks time. There is only three episodes left before the last credit roll. I was hoping my review of last night's episode would be up by now, but it seems to not be. I'll let you all know when it is.

In my blog hopping today, I found some interesting and humorous things. first the funny. According to Monica Jackson, Britney is planning to have her birth aired on television. I couldn't find the article Monica referenced, but as soon as I read Monica's entry, I laughed out loud. I used to actually be a fan of Britney Spears, and I'll enjoy listening to an occasional tune, but I'm not sure where her mind is these days. I might actually feel sorry for her. In the end though, if she is happy with her life, then that is what is important.

Over on Shannon's blog, she linked to a 3 part rant about the Squawk radio post that I talked about in an earlier post. I'm not going to rehash everything again. I just found myself nodding my head in agreement with a lot of the points made, so I thought I would share.

Another important notice for those that might receive an email from Deidre Knight was posted last night in the Knight Agency blog. apparently in recent weeks, someone has gone along impersonating Deidre and emailing unsuspecting e-pubbed authors. Surely something to be on the look out for.

In the past couple of weeks since going to see Fantastic Four, I've been meaning to write my own review of the film. I keep reading review after criticizing this or that about the movie, and I just shake my head. I really enjoyed the movie. I wasn't going in to be wowed or find a movie that had the cure for Cancer. I went in to enjoy a couple of hours with a fun story and characters. I got that. I'm wondering if people possibly expected too much. It's a movie based on a comic strip series. I still might write my own review. I just needed to say something.

Have a wonderful Monday evening everyone.

102. Crazy times

Sunday, July 17, 2005

It seems each time my Reuters news feed on my bloglines updates, there is something about a bombing, someone dying, or another hurricane. Hurricane Emily looks like it might get bad, and I won't even really touch on the other cause it makes me too sad to think about it. There is so much craziness in this world, and lately my mood hasn't been the best. I see everything that happens in the world, and then I see people complaining about the little things that don't really matter much in the big scheme of things, and it makes me angry. Some might say I'm too sensitive, and some have said it actually. Yes, there are things that can bother you, and you have every right in the world to be upset, but sometimes things that make us upset don't mean much in the big picture called life.

I know my mood hasn't been the best the last week or two, and when I'm in a bad mood my creativity has been next to nothing. I'm guilty of letting the little things get to me, but we've all done it at times. Sometimes the little things pile up, and they make for one big bad mood. I've tried to not let it stop me from writing, but its starting to interfere. I need to work on that, but with my father finally going into the hospital today, I'm not sure when things will settle down. Maybe I can try writing now.

I know I'm not the only one. I see others on blogs I read and those friends I have on my personal journal as well in similar moods. I was talking to my one friend late last night, and he said maybe it is just something in the water lately. I have no idea! I'm starting to wonder though.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

101. Harry Potter craziness

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Okay, so it seems the world is going Harry Potter crazy today. I'm sadly not one of the masses that ventured out at midnight to go buy the book. In fact, I haven't read one book in the series. I've seen the movies in part, but the story just didn't grab my interest. I'm not much of a Lord of the Rings fan either, so maybe the genre isn't just for me. Give me some good romance, some good horror, or maybe even a little suspense or science fiction. I'm not much of a fan of magic and elves. I don't mind a good vampire or ghost story. I've even written those. I guess I just didn't get caught up in the craze. My friends are going crazy over the book, and I'm sitting doing the same because I found the new Bon Jovi single somewhere online before it hits radio this Monday.

Anytime someone goes crazy over a book though, I think its great. When people ask me what they should read or suggestions, I get giddy. I love books. I should because I'm a writer, but I've also taught in the past, and I remember all those posters lining the libraries I went to in schools, both ones I worked at and those I attended as a student. You know which posters I'm talking about. Those infamous READ posters. So many these days don't read more than the newspaper, and that is great, but there is so much out there to read. A world full of books. Romance isn't your thing? Then I'm fairly sure there is something else that is. Harry Potter isn't mine, but he seems to get people reading. Young and old seem to enjoy the stories, and I think J.K. Rowling should be proud of what she has accomplished. She has gotten people reading, and from what I can see reading her books is no small chore.

Right now, I'm going back and forth between two books. The street where she lives by Jill Shalvis and Guilty Pleasures by Marie Isabel Pita, which I'm reading to review for Romance Divas. both have grabbed me, and I want to read as much as I can of each, but I can't read all the time. As much as I would love to. I know some that will spend the next few days reading Harry Potter from cover to cover. Are you one of those?

100. My 100th entry

Friday, July 15, 2005

Entry 100. Honestly, when I began keeping this blog I didn’t think it would stick. This is actually my third attempt at keeping a blog. My first being back in November. I signed up for Tripod’s blogging service, and I didn’t really like it all that much. I found blogger in early January and moved my blog to this site.

However, I really didn’t keep the blog all that well up to date. I had no idea about blog listings or places such as Author Blogs or Romancing the Blog. At this point, the only online place I felt comfortable with was Romance Divas. I had found the forum back in November, and I had joined. I’d been a member of many emailing lists, but I think this was my first message board that was writing related. I belong to other message boards, and I’ve joined a few more writing specific ones since, but Romance Divas still feels like home.

When I sat down in late February - early March, I decided to once again try blogging. My worry was being able to find content to write on a regular basis. My first thought was to update weekly with entries. At first I included reviews and other type articles before finding Blogcritics, and moving these type articles to their and linking them here.

I found Author Blogs and Romancing the Blog, and then some Divas joined the blogging ranks, and it made things easier. People started reading and commenting. I began blogging daily, and it became something which started my day.

Since I began blogging, it had made me write more. It’s kind of sad when you have a writer’s blog when you never talk about the writing you are doing yourself. So it makes me keep on my toes, and keep writing. Whether it be my nofiction or fiction, I am writing each and every day. My nonfiction is what is getting me known right now, so I am working that as much as I can.

Just today, I received a notification from Guru for a freelance writing position that is just perfect for me. A new online magazine here in Arizona focusing on the gay community. As soon as I saw the position, I went to guru and submitted my proposal for the job. With most of my nonfiction in recent months being geared to the gay community online, I’m really hoping this position comes through. It would hopefully be steady income that will allow me to focus more on my fiction instead of always writing nonfiction.

Just late night, I had one of those small pleasant surprises when an article I had submitted came back to me in an google alert. The article is in my sidebar and discusses UCLA establishing a gay film archive. When I saw it, I probably blinked a couple of times because I wasn’t expecting to see it come through.

Things have been crazy personally lately for me and my family. My father has had a small relapse of an illness he’s had as long as I can remember. Nothing fatal, but it looks like it will require a short hospital stay for him. He’s nearing eighty, so anytime the hospital is involved with someone in that age range their is concern. My mind has been filled with worry, so I’m surprised I’ve gotten much writing done at all this week. If you can keep my father in your thoughts, I’d appreciate it.

Have a great Friday everyone. Now I’m off to blog hop.

99. Only so many hours in the day

Thursday, July 14, 2005

There are only so many hours in each and everyday we live. There are things that need to be done each and every day. We need to sleep and eat. We all need to write, but it all depends on how many hours in the day we can devote to each and every single thing we want to do. Sometimes we do less of one thing to fit in something else we want to do. Sometimes we lose some sleep so we make sure it all gets done. A bad practice, but we've all done it. I happen to be insomniac, so 4am bedtimes is not something that is unusual for me. I am usually up somewhere between 11am and noon, and online most days by 1pm.

I happen to follow a good many blogs. If someone links a blog, I go check it out usually, and the most recent posts interest me, I'll go ahead and add it. This sometimes means I'm following way too many blogs. At one point this weekend, I looked at my bloglines feed count, and I had I think 116 if I remember correctly. no, those aren't all author blogs. They are news feeds and other sites I follow as well. So I decided on Sunday night, it was time to start cutting back. Little by little I started to do so. I'm now down to 77. About half of those are author blogs I think. I also follow some of the major news feeds for news articles so that I can post reviews and other news items to the sites I write for. Sometimes I can catch stuff before someone else does. I guess I'm playing a bit of the journalist now too. It's just another word for writer in the long run.

I do this with lists I'm on every so often. I join, and in a month if I find I'm reading I keep it. If that isn't the case, the list goes. There are really so many hours in the day. I have found 4 message boards I visit on a daily basis. Between those, email lists and blogs, I was beginning to wonder where I would find time to write. My fiction has been suffering, but I'm still writing. I'd truly be worried if I wasn't writing anything. I think my fiction writing my get a much needed kick in the ass next month though. I bit the bullet and I signed up for Evolunacy over at Evolution. 10,000 words of fiction is my goal for next month. i took a look at thing I'm working on and some submission calls that end in August and September, and I found a few that interest me. so I'll be using those to read my goal. When you break it down, it is only 333 words a day. I think I can honestly manage that. So we shall see what happens.

In my blog hopping today, I saw Shannon Stacey link to an entry written over on Squawk Radio. The post was made just over a week ago, so I'm surprised it hasn't made the rounds before now, or maybe it has and I just missed it. That is possible! The writer of the post talks about EC and erotica. At first upon reading the post and the attached comments I got angry, but I think afterward I just shook my head and moved on.

I think I'm just starting to become apathetic when it comes to those that don't write erotica and erotic romance and slam against it. Yes, the two are different. Some loop the two together, and that isn't the case. Erotica is more straight sex, and erotic romance has an underlying love story in which sex plays a major part. At least that is the way I see it. I think this might be one of those issues that people will always disagree on. People that write romance in other sub genres will always look at erotica and erotic romance differently.We can't stop them. We can't change their minds. We don't write for them either. We write for those reads that do read our genre. I don't write gay romance for the world because I know not everyone in the world will read it. I write it for those that do read it, and I won't let anyone stop me. There is no point in getting angry. All you are doing is wasting energy in which you can use to do something else. Like write!

98. The heat of summer

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I've had a headache on and off since this weekend. I'm not sure if its stress related or heat related. The temps have skyrocketed here in recent days. It hit 114 yesterday, and it is currently 112 according to the weather program I have setting in my system taskbar. The other night I was talking to an online friend of mine in Denver, and she was telling me how hot it was there at midnight, so I asked her how hot? She came back with 98. I looked at my taskbar, and temp here read 98. At 11pm my local time. I should be used it. The summer months are always hot here. Also with the summer months, it means we have summer storms. We get monsoons which means of quick heavy rainfall, high winds, sometimes hail, and thunder and lightning. When I mention to some that don't live in Arizona about storms, they laugh at me. Technically we do live in the desert, so when storms hit, they hit us hard. Heavy rainfall causes flooding quickly. This causes problems for drivers who aren't experienced with driving in rainy conditions. It is rumored the monsoon season here is set to start this week, so I'm hoping it doesn't hit my area too bad. Power has been known to go out.

I'm really not sure if it is the heat that is causing my headaches. Things have been personally stressful for me in recent weeks. Problems with my family that I'm hoping resolve themselves soon. I don't want to go into details now. Too personally drained with all that is happening, and I know that is why I've let my fiction slide in recent weeks. Easier to write nonfiction for me. Speaking of my nonfiction, my review of Sunday night's episode is now up here. Only three weeks left before the show comes to its an end. As a fan of the show, and now having written on it, it is really starting to hit me that it is almost over. It makes me sad. Another good show gone.

When I came online, I also found a small news story that hadn't broke yet on Gaywired, so I immediately wrote it up and submitted it there, so I'll see if that is picked up. Tonight, I'm hoping this headache goes away so I can get in some writing. We shall have to see.

97. The Writing Life

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Beth in her blog made a post about the publishing business. Writing is one of those jobs in which you have no guarantees. You write in hopes that someone sees your writing and hopefully likes it enough to pay you for it. The money isn't why we do this, but some need the money in order to pay the bills and make a living. I've been writing in one form for another since my pre-teens. Writing is just in my blood. I write everything. I write nonfiction and fiction. I've written fan fiction. I've even taken part in interactive fiction, sometimes called role playing. I just love to write and I love doing it in its many forms.

Some might look at my having written fan fiction or my role playing and say that writing is just a hobby for me. I don't see this as such, but I know I'm far away from calling this a career. I write every day, in my blog, in my personal journal, articles that appear on various sites. Some for pay and some for free. I do it because I love writing, and some of my for free work has landed me paying jobs. In order to get something in which will pay you money, sometimes you have to give just a little. Some say writing for free is bad and writer's shouldn't do it. I don't see it as a bad thing. Most of my for free writing takes me little or no time to write, and it is mostly in the form of reviews and news pieces. I seem to be able to buzz out a nonfiction in little or no time at all. Fiction is much harder for me to do that with.

Fiction might be where I first started writing, but nonfiction is where I first started to make money. I guess at times that is where I try to focus on my attention. I know once my fiction starts to sell, I'll have to balance the both better. I started writing professionally back in 2000, and I sold a few articles, had a weekly column, and even had my first book contract by sometime in 2002. I was on a high during that time because I thought I was going to have it made. The book contract was for a fairly large deal, and if it did well, I'd do well. It was for a new publisher and they wanted me to write a series of nonfiction children's books covering the states. Each state would have a book, and it would appeal to schools with its information.

I began researching, calling states and requesting information. I still find stuff to this day, and I use some of the information to make decisions on places to put my stories setting wise. I had a contract, and I thought by sometime in 2003 my books would start coming out. Well, it didn't work that way. The publisher bit off a bit more than they could chew and went bankrupt about six months following the contract. I haven't heard from the publisher since. The experience left me a bit burned, and I took an extended hiatus from writing because of it. I started writing again, hoping to break in professionally, in November 2004. I know I have a long way to go, but I'll get there.

I'm writing more than I have ever before. Yes, the majority of it is nonfiction. I'm hoping to change that. Evolution is having Evolunacy next month, and I might join in and try to write 10,000 words in my fiction alone. I'm pondering that. See if I'll jump in or not.

96. Interrupted thoughts

Monday, July 11, 2005

Mood: awake and hungry
Music: Lindsay Lohan

I haven't ate yet today. Having just woke up a couple of hours ago, but I wanted to get out my review of last night's Queer as Folk. Then I got caught up in emails and reading blogs, so I put off eating. Last night's episode of Queer as Folk was truly one of the best of the season so far. This season started off so slow, and I was truly wondering where the writer's were going with the season. The last few episodes have had their problems, but they have had some good stories and good acting.

I feel like I'm finally getting back on balance. Yesterday, I took a bit easy and got a lot done, which I was proud of. I typed in what I had of CIM, and I also wrote my review last night. I think anytime you add something new to your daily schedule, even if it is something for pure enjoyment, you get a little off balance as you try to fit the new thing into your existing schedule.

And the phone called me away while writing this.Then I went off to eat! I think I'm getting things more settled though. Not totally, but I'm getting there. I really need to get to work on some things fiction wise. There are stories I want to write. I just have so much going on in my head to pick one and just go with it. So many stories that want to be told. I just need to pick one and do it. Easier said than done when they are all crying for attention. Hopefully I can pick one to focus on.

Have a great Monday everyone!

95. Sunday ramblings

Sunday, July 10, 2005

First off, thank you for all the comments to my last entry. I love hearing from those that read my blog, and I know I have some regular commenters too, and every time I hear from someone it brings a smile to my face.Last night was another crazy night, and I'm still feeling a bit off balance. I was hoping to get work on a story last night, but around 9:30 I was hit by a headache. Then the batteries died in my headphones that I use daily to listen to music, I couldn't find the charger to recharge the batteries to save my life. An hour later, tearing my room apart, they ended up being in one of the first places I had looked. In a drawer. Just another part of the drawer. I wanted to scream in frustration. Someone I was talking to even told me it would be in the first place I looked, and they were. All the activity made my headache that much worse, and around 1am it hit migraine status. It's probably the worst one I've had in months, maybe even longer. My eyes couldn't focus on the screen. When I lay down, I got dizzy. It was horrible, and I still have the remnants of the headache now just underneath the surface.

I look at my blog count, and this is my 95th entry, which just amazes me. I've almost written a hundred entries in here since I began writing in my blog back in March. I tend to update daily, and sometimes I wonder if this blog is entertaining or do I bore people to death? I'm sure all bloggers ask themselves the same question at one time or another. Yes, I blog for me, but I want to be at least interesting to read by others.

Last night while I was reading through my blog feeds, I found this Evangeline Kelly post, and it caught my attention. Made me think a little. I blog in this blog daily. I've only missed a few days since I started doing so. I tend to enjoy the blogs of others that blog daily. Those are the ones I find myself enjoying the most. I love knowing that I'll reading something from the mind of another writer daily basis, no matter if they are talking about their writing or something that happened to them personally. I tend to even know when some of those I read daily tend to update. I know Suzanne and Beth blog first thing in the morning, and I know Jill and Sylvia post late nights. The little pieces of information your mind remembers on a daily basis. I don't need to remember this, but I do. There are days I just don't feel like blogging. I feel I have nothing interesting to say. The past few days, I've felt that way especially. I'm just so used to writing in here daily now. It's how I start my day. Writing in here and hopping around to all the blogs I read.

On today's agenda is to watch and review Queer as Folk, type up the little I've written in Crash into me. I'm waiting to hear back from Silma on the first scene of it I sent her. I had answered her post over at Romance Divas a couple of weeks ago looking for a critique partner, so we're trying things out. I had posted a post searching for one myself, and I heard back from Phoenix . I love knowing I have someone their to read and point out things.

I've been playing around with an idea in my head. I have two anthologies deadlining at the end of this month. I know I'lll probably only get to write for one, so right now I'm trying to figure out which one. The idea bouncing in my head would be the Hustler's anthology. I've tried to come up with something for Vamprotica, but I don't know if I'll be able too. I just haven't found a plot that grabs me yet.

Have a great Sunday everyone!

94. Off kilter

Saturday, July 09, 2005

I guess with the whackiness of my foods the past week, events in the world this past week, and events in my own life, I am feeling a bit off kilter. I've picked up a hobby I haven't been doing for quite sometime, another writing related hobby, and i'm trying to get myself situated. I just feel off balance with my schedule. I'm so used to doing things a certain way, and this week has been anything but normal for me. I ventured out three days this week, and I can honestly I don't remember the last time I did that. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this previously in my blog, but I suffer from agoraphobia and a panic disorder. Going out is just difficult for me, so I rarely do it. Not many understand it, and some have even said I'm just plain lazy and don't want to work outside of my home. If I could I would. Although I still think writing would be my first choice.

My mood has improved, and that is a good thing. I just need to set myself back on balance in regards to my writing. It's not like I haven't been writing because I have. Just not what I feel should be working on, and that is my fiction. The stories need to get out of my head. There is so much I want to do in the next two months. My mind is spinning with all I want to do, and I'm sure I won't get it all done. It would just be impossible. There are things I have to do, and those things come first. I have several contests that I want to enter. Two of which I have stories mostly prepared for. It iis just a matter of finishing them up and sending them out.

Today, I'm watching the recast of the Live 8 concerts held last weekend. No commercials. No interrruptions by some VJ talking over the music. Just the message and the music. I really wish this is how it had been covered last weekend. I think it would have been even more powerful than it had been for those watching on television. I once again found myself tearing up.

Last night while I was waiting for something to finish on my computer, I stopped resisting the urge to pick up and start reading Guilty Pleasures. Before I realized, I had read the first two short stories. The stories so far span time. The first two taking place in 2015 and 2005 respectively. Maria Isabel Pita just amazes me. I can't wait to read more.

Have a Happy Saturday everyone.

93. Just Fantastic

Friday, July 08, 2005

Well this one of those weeks, where my moods have been totally wacky. I've been cranky and just not in good spirits. Had a few things pop up, and the small things that usually mean nothing just added up to one cranky Gina. I'm really glad this week is over, and today I made a day for me to just go and not think about working or writing or anything. i had it set in my mind to go see Fantastic Four today when it came out, and that is just what I did this afternoon. Fantastic Four was excellent. I really enjoyed myself, and I loved the movie. Everyone did a superb job. After seeing two very different type movies in the same genre, I think War of the Worlds is more visually stunning, but in my opinion Fantastic Four has more of a heart. The characters felt more real to me. I found myself laughing at the one-liners, and I'll be looking forward to the rest of the movies. From what I hear there is already two more Fantastic Four movies planned.

When I came home, I found a nice little surprise waiting for me. Suzanne's copy of The honeymoon man was waiting for me, and there was another extra surprise that I wasn't expecting. A few months ago, I had reviewed a book for Romance Divas by Maria Isabel Pita called Beauty and Submission. Well in today's mail, her publisher sent me a copy of her collection of short stories. I loved her autobiography, and though out she included snippets of her fiction where it illustrated a point, and I loved reading those, and I wanted to read more. Now I can. My brother actually laughed at me, and said he had never seen someone get so excited over a book when I opened the package. I'm really looking forward to reading Guilty Pleasures though. I have so much to read write now. The other night I began read Jill Shalvis' The Street where she lives, and I'm enjoying that read already.

I've actually kept up with my writing somewhat with the roller coaster this week has been. I'm working little by little on Crash into me, and I'm looking to see if I can get something out for one or two things with deadlines later on this month. The ideas are in my head. It's just a matter of getting them out of my head and onto the screen. I hope things smooth out, so I can tackle one of my projects this weekend.

Have a great night everyone.

92. Tragedy in London

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Mood: sad
Music: Tell me why - Will Smith

A bit if an earlier post today by me. I'm wide awake, and I really didn't sleep all that well this morning. Yesterday was one of those days where a lot of things just went wrong, and I wasn't in the best of moods. I keep telling myself that today was a new day, and everything would be fine. Just as I was about to shut down my computer for the night and head in to bed, I saw an email come through about the bombings in London. I'm just sick over this. I couldn't sleep. I finally turned off the news at 6am my time this morning, and tried to sleep. I don't understand how things like this can happen in the world. My thoughts and prayers are with those in the UK.

Everything that happened yesterday to me doesn't even amount to what has happened to those halfway across the world in London. Lives have been lost. I kept thinking if this had happened in London during the concerts held over the weekend. How much more loss of life might have occurred. Everything I had planned to write about in my blog today seems kind of unimportant, so I'm not going to right now. I might return later on this day to write another entry.

To read more of my reaction to today's bombings you can go here.

91. Sometimes you just need to get out

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I'm not really much of a person that likes to go out. Most of my days are spent within my apartment, and a great deal of my waking hours are spent in front of the computer. My computer and the Internet are the ways I keep up with the world around me. When my motherboard died on my system back in January, I was computerless for a week, and I think I pretty much drove everyone insane. I think it might not have been so bad if I had at least been able to use my computer, even if I couldn't get online for a few days. At least I'd have been able to write, read, play games. At least have some way to keep the monotony at bay.

Lately, I've been wanting to get out more. I went to see War of the Worlds on the 4th. I plan to go see Fantastic Four on Friday when it is released, and I went browsing the discount stores today with my brother. for those that were wondering what movie I mentioned in yesterday's post, it was War of the Worlds. I had mentioned it by name back on Monday's entry, but I had neglected to mention the title of it yesterday when I mentioned it again. For those that want to see my review of the movie, their is a link to my review on my sidebar.

Writing is a fairly solitary life. Some say writer's are their own breed. We get lost in our heads more often than not, and many people just don't understand how we operate. i really can't imagine my life any other way. Today I was talking to my brother. I'm not able to work a job out of the home for personal reasons, and my brother asked me if I could work, would I be doing something other than writing? I answered quickly and emphatically, no. I don't see myself doing anything else. I've always wanted to write. Since I was a young child. It's just taking me a bit of time to get where I want to be.

As I mentioned yesterday, i heard back from my CP on Crash into me. I'm always nervous sending my stuff to people, and no one had seen Crash into me in its entirety yet. Well, I was really worried about nothing in this case. I did have a lot of concerns about the story. All writer's wonder if their story is going to catch someone's attention. Well, my CP loved what I have so far of CIM, which made me giddy. She made some good suggestions too, but she picked up on some of the scenes I was worried about, and she loved them. So last night, I picked up CIM, and wrote about a page. I'm a slow writer, but a page is good for me. Especially since I wrote three articles yesterday. i have a review to write up tonight on this last episode of Dancing with the Stars, a show I have been watching and reviewing weekly since the beginning. Once that is done I might take a few days just to focus solely on my fiction. I want to write some more on CIM, and I have another story I want to polish and submit as well. a writer's work is never done.

Have a great Wednesday everyone.

90. Can we connect and stay connected?

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Between problems with my dial-up service, cable reception problems in my room, and problems with my computer's CD-RW drive, I've had more frustration the last couple of days. The bright spot was going out yesterday to watch the movie. The movie was great if you took off the last five minutes of it. The ending left me really cold. It bothered me all night too. I kept thinking of the way it ended in my head, and it just didn't mesh. I don't really want to ruin the ending for those that haven't seen it, and I'm in the process of writing a review of it as well, so I'll link to that later or tomorrow when that is up for those that are interested.

I think my connection issues are okay across the board, but I won't say that for sure. It seems the problem keeps popping up unexpectedly. I just sent off an article to Forbidden Fruit. I'm pondering a contest I just heard about yesterday through Desdmona. It's for a 2000 word erotic short story, and I know I have at least one that will work. I just need to make some changes, and add on an ending that I thought of after I wrote it. I think if I sat down to work on it, I could have that submitted and off in the next week or two. Send that in early, and then try to see if I can put something else together. They say you can submit two, so I might do that. I'm definitely going to submit the one though.

The 4th was a pretty lazy laid back day. Other than the movie, I didn't do much. I hung out here at home, and I watched the local fireworks show on my television. It was only about five minutes away from my house, but with trees and building blocking my view, it was just easier to watch from the comfort of my desk chair on television. I'm glad everyone enjoyed their holidays from what I'm reading on various blogs. Today in my mail, I received a copy of Alison Kent's "The Beach Alibi". Good timing too. I just finished reading White Oleander the other night, and now I'm trying to find my next read. I have a few choices. I just need to decide which one.

I really need to get back to my stories. The past week, I've been buried in articles and reviews. Those seem to be doing the best for me at the moment, so I'm working those the best I can right now. Now I miss my characters. i just don't know what to work on. I can go in so many different directions right now. I think later tonight I just need to find one, and go with it. This just in. I just got a critique on Crash into me in my email from my critique partner, so I'll be going over that. Maybe that will knock some words loose.

89. Happy 4th of July

Monday, July 04, 2005

Well, I try to do a little audioblog for everyone to wish you all a Happy 4th of July, but it seems the post never made it live. No idea why. So I decided to come in real quick to do that. I've been off line all day with computer issues first, and then a trip to movie theater to go and see War of the Worlds. I might have more to say on this tomorrow, but I'll just say the movie was totally visually amazing from start to finish. Tom and Dakota were both amazing as well. The only thing I didn't totally like was the ending. I won't get into why because I don't want to spoil the ending.

Last night, I stayed up to turn in my review of last night's Queer as Folk episode because I knew I wouldn't be online to post it earlier today. You can go and read that here. Another article or two of mine have been picked up in recent days, but I'm trying to locate exactly where online they are. I don't have an exact link yet, but when I do I'll try to post it here too.

I just wanted to come on and wish everyone a very Happy 4th of July! Be safe and be happy.

88. Lazy Sunday

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Mood: calm
Music: Anna Nalick

I'm feeling really lazy this weekend. Yes, its the holiday weekend, so I guess a little bit of laziness is okay. I'm really not a particularly big fan of the beginning of July either for personal reasons, so most years I just go through those first days of July and wait for it to hit the 5th. My mood can fluctuate up and down during those days, and usually I don't get much done at all. This no year is no different. I really haven't written much since Friday. I know that will change tonight because Queer as Folk is on, and I also have to put together something for Forbidden Fruit.

Last night, I was pondering this other story I've been playing with in my head. Something I hope to write and submit to Chippewa for their Vamprotica anthology. I have a pretty solid idea in my head. I just need to get to it and get writing. Crash into me is still a bit stalled, but I'm hoping to pick that up soon too.

I've heard differing opinions on whether or not writer's should stick on one project until it is done before starting something new. I always feel guilty when I decide to start something new when there is something else I've been currently working on. Sometimes things just get stalled, and if you sit there waiting for it to get unstalled then you'll develop some kind of writer's block. Plus, I don't just write fiction. So in my head I'm usually working on two things anyway. One nonfiction and the other fiction. Sometimes I have thoughts for several stories swirling around my head. It's just a matter of when those stories will find their way out.

My mind is feeling a bit lazy today to, so I'm going to end this here. Have a Happy Sunday everyone!

87. One voice joined with many

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Today is Live 8. If you've been following the news, you've probably heard of it. 9 concerts on 4 different continents. People joining together to fight poverty. Yes, a concert that is actually spending money to get out the message is probably not the best way to get the message out. However, it is getting the message out. Poverty is not only a problem in Africa, but around the world. People are starving. Sometimes in this world we take things for granted. We have roofs over our heads, food in our refrigerators. We're on the Internet, so that means we have enough money to buy computers, pay for Internet service, the phone line or cable service it is carried through. We have all these things, and there are children that barely have the clothes on their backs, no food in their stomachs, and no roofs over their head.

No, a concert will not do much. A concert full of celebrities won't change the minds of those leaders meeting at the G8 this week coming up. One voice will not do it, but the voices of many, a world of voices might do something. It's important that the message is sent, and the voices of the people are heard. I've been watching Live 8 since MTV began airing its coverage this morning at 9am my time. I saw some great acts perform. Some collaborations between artists that I never thought I would see. Coldplay joining Richard Ashcroft on Bittersweet Symphony, U2 joining Paul McCartney to sing Sgt. Pepper's, which was said to never been performed live before.

During the show, they showed scenes of people, children, starving in Africa. I remember growing up seeing similar images. When "We are the world" and the original Live Aid came out I was about 8 or 9 years old. i watched then as I watched now. Just before Madonna came on stage in London, they brought out a young woman that as a young child was featured in the documentary.I was moved to tears upon seeing her. The show isn't half over, and I know there is more to come. We just need to remember this isn't a problem just in Africa, but around the world. Alone we can't do much, but together we can do something. If you want to leave more about Live 8 and the fight against poverty here in the US visit Live 8's website or One.org.

In other news, I got some writing done last night. Not much, but some. I was a bit distracted, so my writing wasn't as much. I was saddened to hear about the passing of Luther Vandross, and one of the Four Tops. Both of which I've enjoyed music from. I have a few things to work on this month. I am challenging myself to write 12,000 words this month, and I have projects that those words and any others surpassing that word count will go to. Busy month!

It looks like Romance Divas has some problems with the forum yesterday, but everything looks to be up and running. Speaking of Romance Divas, they are having a great free workshop this month. In case you hadn't heard about the information is here:

Romance Divas is running another great FREE workshop this month. Author Jess Michaels will be hosting her "So I Wrote This Book... Now What?" workshop in the Forum. Just register to become a member and you're eligible for the workshop and the monthly giveaway. The workshop starts July 18th.

Have a wonderful Saturday, and for those taking off for the July 4th holiday, have a wonderful holiday weekend.

86. Creating reality

Friday, July 01, 2005

Mood: pondering
Music: Anna Nalick - Satellite

"If you create your own reality, nothing is unattainable."

Yesterday, I saw this quote on a scan for the pictures being released of Jessica Alba in July's Seventeen magazine. I'm a fan of Jessica Alba, and I have been since back in the day when Dark Angel was on the air years ago. I was so sad when that show was canned after the second season because there was so much of the story to tell when it came to that show. They left all of the fans hanging. Back to the quote though, it got me thinking, and I thought about it throughout the day. I wrote it down on one of my notepads on my desk, and I found myself glancing at it every so often.

As a writer, it is our job to create another reality with our stories. We create the scene, the characters, the plot. All of that is our job. The reader then picks up a book, and if we did our job right, they are transported from the world they live in to some other world of our creation. They find themselves lost in it. They aren't turning pages, but they are watching the scene play out in their mind's eye. Sometimes even the writer gets lost within their own story. Their thoughts speed by at maddening rates. Snippets of dialogues, scenes, descriptions all go through their mind. When the writer comes up for air, sometimes they don't realize how deep into the world they created they went.

If you went that deep, the person reading might also go that deep. That's what we want! We all know those aha moments we have when we're writing. That moment where we even shut up that little inner critic, and everything is perfect. The trick is getting to see that publisher, that editor, that agent ... at the right moment so they see what you see. That's the hard part of this whole thing isn't it?

Well, here we go one step further with that quote above. Writing isn't easy. If it were easy, we would have even more books on the shelves than we do now, and we have a lot of books on the shelves as it is. There are plenty of talented writers that never make it. They don't sell a story or a book because finding that right moment never happens. Some might say it is because that writer sucked or to put it nicely they weren't talented enough. The fact of the matter is there are way too many talented writers out there and we're all fighting for the same publishing spots.

In order to make it you have to be tough, you have to be positive you have the skills to make it as a writer. Your books will sell, and you can do it. Even if you have to create your own reality in your mind to keep those same spirits up. In your mind, you can be the greatest writer on the face of the planet. Your books will be published, and they will appear on the top NY Times Bestseller list. It will happen. You know it in your heart. Even if the reality is you have a long way to go before you get that far, but in your reality that isn't years down the road but days or months in the making. In your mind, there is nothing you can't do. If that is what it takes for you to move forward, do things a little bit quicker, keep a positive outlook even when you get those rejections then so be it.

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