74. Happy Father's Day

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I want to start off by wishing the all the fathers and soon to be father's a very happy day. Even though in some time zones the day is already almost over. Today is not only Father's Day, but this year my brother's birthday also falls on this date. My father is in the next room with my brother at the moment watching the NBA Finals. He is nearly 80 years old, and I still live with him. I promised my mother when she passed on that I would watch over him. After her passing ten years ago, I had my father move out to Arizona where I was attending college, and we moved in together. Never imagined ten years later, we would still be living together, but that is how things ended up working out. My brother has also been living with us on and off over the last six years, and we've all just grown accustomed to it. I have my own space, and they have theirs.

My father is stubborn, and he thinks he really doesn't need anyone to look after him. He works full time, the 5am to 1pm shift, as a security guard. He just can't have days empty with nothing to do. The job gives him structure. Most mornings I'm still up when he gets up to go to work. Sometimes even when he leaves for the day. We have our squabbles, but every father and daughter does. He knows I write, and he knows what I write, but he doesn't totally get it. When he learned I wrote erotica, he immediately asked the question. "You write porn?" That led to a whole other conversation. The day he heard one of my friends ask about about the gay erotica I was working on, he just looked at me and laughed a little. That did not turn into a conversation. I think he would rather not know that his daughter writes about men having sex with men. Just knowing she wrote sex in her stories was enough.

He seems to be getting better about the writing though. As long as he sees some money come in, he leaves me alone. When I sell something, I tell him. Sometimes it doesn't register with him, but sometimes it does. He usually doesn't make mention of it until some time later on, but I think he just wants to see me do something with my life. If it isn't in some office working nine to five, then he wants to see my writing take off. I just don't think he gets how hard it is to get started in this business. It isn't one of those things that is going to just happen over night. He expects it too. It just doesn't work that way right? Although, it would be nice if it did.

Last night, Nonny caught me on Instant messenger while I was watching The Notebook, which is an excellent movie by the way, and invited me to join in a word war going on over at the Evolution board chat room. I finished the movie, jumped in a quick shower, and headed on over. I pulled out Crash into me, and I happened to get about 1,000 words out of me before my mind shut off for the night. That is the most I've written in one sitting in a while, and the scene was fun to write. I still have no idea where Crash into me is going. I don't have one idea how long it will end up being in the end. It just seems to keep going and going. Little details keep popping up. I had tried to set it at 4,000, and that won't work at all. The characters just keep exposing little parts of themselves to me.

Last night, Daniel threw out that he could read Kaelin's thoughts. Which I had no idea of before. I just went with it, and it should make for an interesting little twist. I created a topic for the story over in my writer's forum on the ERWF board last night, and this is the little blurb I wrote for the story: Set in Earth's future, Kaelin has come to Earth in order to look for a new home for the inhabitants of his world, but he ends up finding something else when he seeks shelter during an Acid rainstorm, Daniel. I think I just need to stop worrying about word counts and length, and just tell the story. I'm hoping to work some more on it tonight, but tonight is also Queer as Folk night, so I need to watch and review tonight's episode.

I'm also fighting off a migraine that came out of absolutely nowhere. If it isn't one thing, it is another lately it seems. Anyway, I'm off. The cake was just cut. Chocolate cake is my favorite!