122. Marking it down to learning

Saturday, August 06, 2005

music:bed of lies - MB20

Do you ever find yourself reading something on a fellow writer's blog and just nodding a long. They explained something perfectly. They understand. That happened to me last night when I stumbled across Jenny Crusie's blog. I saw a few bloggers link to her, so I just had to check it out. You've got to love the power of the link. On her post about writer's organizations, she said the following:

"Face it, nobody becomes a writer to meet people. If we could play well with others, we wouldn't be making up our own worlds. And that means many of us--and I do mean "us," I'm in there, too--can have a hard time seeing anybody's reality but our own. Which leads to mistakes. Big ones."

I've seen many writer's make similar statements, and I've even mentioned this in my own blog some time ago. Writer's seem to be a breed of people all their own. They are different. Personally, I find myself enjoying my own company more than company of others. There are a select few that I would consider friends or close to me. The ones that I allow close to me I almost consider them family. In most cases, I've known them for years, and they get my little quirks. They know when I get in certain moods to leave me alone, and they know how I get when I'm working on something.

When you factor the Internet into the equation, you add a whole other element. With the Internet, you can't see facial expressions, hear tone of voice, or anything of that sort. You don't know if the words someone types are indeed truthful of their lives or their own feelings. Someone could be speaking "I love you's," but laughing their head off on the other side of their computer screen. You just don't know. At times I have tons of people around me online. Friends from all parts of the country. There are times that I find myself changing friendships. Backing away from some, and getting closer to others. I remember in just the last few weeks taking one of those quiz things, and said I change friends frequently. I didn't give it much thought then, but the thought kept coming back to me.

I guess in a way I do change friends frequently. Just this week, I made a drastic change. I didn't plan on doing it, but a lot of thoughts have been swirling around my head the last week or two. I knew that if I needed to get things done this month and start some kind of pattern to take me through future months, I would have to buckle down. Spending ten to twelve hours a day on instant messenger was not the way to do it. I love talking to people, but sometimes you need to put a stop to things.

As writer's we generally stick to ourselves or with other writer's. Other writer's get it. They get those moments that come where you need to write or you'll lose it with the ping of an instant message being received. Writer's just don't seem to play well with other's. Each writer has their own little quirks. I can go days without wanting to talk to anyone but select group of people. Like I've done this week, I've talked to at most five people. That select core of people I know I will probably always have in my life in some way or another. No matter what you do, you always seem to end up with those people in your life that you know you want to always be there. For me, I have a core of seven. Yes, I've met them all online, and some I have known close to three years now. We've spent hours on IM's and on the phone as well.

This week, I've spent time talking to them, trying to explain things and how I feel about certain situations, and they just seem to get it. I've done the same with others, and I get frustrated because it seems I'm repeating myself over and over. Saying the same things. I've been told my not wanting to talk to anyone is just a phase, when I know that isn't the case. I've always been like this. I've been a writer. If being a writer is just a phase, what a long phase to be in. I've been writing since my early childhood.

What do you think about what Jenny said? Do you agree that we as writer's just don't play well with others? I don't mean in special circumstances such as conferences and meetings, but in general everyday life? Do you find yourself getting along with just a select few and not the world at large? Are we our own breed?

Quick note, my review of Bodies Beautiful is up over at the ERRW. Check that out on my sidebar. Have a great day everyone!


glblztn said...

I am not sure that writers are any less gregarious than the rest of the world. Perhaps, the common thread is that they like the world they create better than the world they live in. I'm an old dude, an engineer, that has done ok in my career ... from the point of view of making money. But, with every year that passes, the joke I used to tell becomes the truth: "when I grow up, I want to be a writer."

I wish I had figured this out a few decades ago, a few houses ago, a few kids ago, a couple of wives and lovers ago. If you don't find what you love and then do it well, it will bleed over into every aspect of your life.

I am jealous of young writers like you that have the time to IM all day and then worry about it. Try writing after working at a high stress job all day. I know, boo hoo, I digress. I'll get there.

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