140. The Space Between

Monday, August 22, 2005

I woke up with the worst headache. Actually, no I didn't wake up with it. It came on shortly after I woke up. You know the type of headache that just slams into you out of nowhere? That type of headache. this weekend wasn't productive writing wise, but my weekend's hardly ever are. I meant to write last night before heading off to bed but I got distracted by some things, and my mood suddenly diminished, so I just didn't feel very creative. I've done quite well this month writing wise though, and I did send off something over to Romancing the Blog for their open blog night yesterday. I'll have to see how that goes. I also queried a fiction e-zine about submitting material to them. I spent yesterday looking for a market for my newly finished short, and I think I have a couple of options. I need to get back to work on my futuristic or my paranormal today.

I remember at the beginning of the month how I kept wondering how I would get everything done that I needed to get done. The Evolunacy fiction challenge, my own articles, and other things I knew needed to get done. In those early morning hours of the 1st, I joked with someone that I would see them in a month because I was that busy. The next morning when I woke up the idea started to appeal to me. I knew I had so many I talked to on a daily basis, and the more I talked to people the less I was able to get done. So I made some choices about who I would talk to for the period of the month. or at least until I felt secure enough in the fact that I would be able to get things done.

I have people I've met through the Internet. some years ago. Some recently, but it seems the ones that I keep finding myself going back to are the ones that have always been there. I have this one person. She is my best friend. She is honest and tells you what's what, even if she knows it is going to piss me off and maybe even hurt me to hear. I have others that I've known almost as long. We've spent hours talking by phone and instant messenger, and by all means these people have become people that aren't just Internet people to me. So I hold them close because no matter what I know they get it. My best friend and I were talking last night, and she told me you're only happiest when you're writing. See some people didn't get that, but she does. Others do.

I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel last week at some point, and I thought things would just be fine. See I'm the type of person that sees it this way. You're the only one that can get things done for you. You're the only one that can write the words you write, and tell the stories you want to tell. Those words live on in your head.That goes for non-writing too. You're the one living your life, and no one can make you do things. You have to do them for yourself. You can't whine and complain and hope someone else does them for you. If you have a problem with someone you go to them. Sooner or later though, it starts sounding like a broken record, and you get tired of listening to it. So you want to jump the track and move on to the next one. Sometimes people just don't get it, and you thought just maybe they had. To only find out they had never understood at all.

Sometimes things change over the small things. Change is inevitable, but it opens up your eyes when things do change. Change sometimes needs to happen in order for you to move forward and succeed with your goals. Sometimes change hurts, but that is just a part of life.

Have a great day everyone.


Katie said...

Hi :) I know I sound like a broken record to you, but it's what I honestly believe, so I'll just keep on saying it! Sometimes friendships need to go through testing periods, despite how close someone feels to you. And the truth of the matter is, however much you care for someone, sometimes you just have to let them go. Sometimes you just have to take separate paths to see where it brings you. Though you can't see why now, some people just aren't right to have in your life for that time being. And the ones who are supposed to be there will prove themselves true ; the ones who aren't? They'll prove themselves true, as well. I'm not saying it's wrong to hurt because then I'd be a hypocrite ; as I've told you, I'm still hurting. It hurts a lot. And just because you forgive someone doesn't mean that hurt automatically goes away.

But it really is all about how you react to it. You have the choice of how you react, you know? Things happen in life to make you stronger, as cliche as that sounds. It's hard to pick your head up some days but empowering to know that when you do, you're proving yourself strong.

And just remember as much as you do hurt right now, you have people who love you ten times as much as that.

/end Katie-Sallie-Jesse-Raffael ( or however you spell it ) moment!

PS: I love you! :)

Gina said...

I love you, too babydoll. I'm really glad we've met, and since I'm talking to you elsewhere at the moment I'll leave it like that!

crystal said...

I really, really loved the last paragraph of this entry. I know it's silly just to stop by to say that, but yes. First comments have got to start somewhere!

Gina said...

Thank you, sweetie. I'm glad you decided to stop by, read and comment. Comments are blogger food as they say!

chryscat said...

This is an excellent post, Gina.


Gina said...

Crystal, its good to see you back!

Kelly Parra said...

Great post. Gina!! And good luck with the query and RTB blog submission! =)

Gina said...

Thanks, Kelly!

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